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Old 04-25-2005, 12:28 AM   #1 (permalink)
mary w.
 
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: kansas
Posts: 60
Eve

A new twist on an old story.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how
is everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are
breathtaking, the smells, the sights everything is wonderful, but I have
just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one
pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms,
catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real
pain," said Eve.
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came
in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc...she felt that having only
two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it.

"That is! a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this,
you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed
only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part. You
see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her
bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How
could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately
create a man from a part of you. Now let's see...where did I put the
useless boob?"

Now doesn't ! THAT make more sense than that crap about the rib!?!?!
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'Veni, Vidi, Velcro' - I came, I saw, I stuck around.


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Old 04-25-2005, 01:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
Psalm 118:24
 
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Location: ILLINOIS
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I liked the original version better. I'M NOT USELESS, I CAN LIFT HEAVY OBJECTS.
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LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU
WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE
IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD


J - Jesus first
O - Others next
Y - Yourself last

John 14:6
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