Variety Pack

An atheist went to the governor's office to ask about holidays. His complaint was that why does everyone else have a holiday. For example, Christians have Easter and Christmas. The Jewish Have Yom Kippur, etc. The Governor replied "You really want a holiday just for atheists?", "Yes, absolutely!" was his answer. The Governor replies, "Ok, your holiday will be on April 1st".


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple goes on a vacation to a fishing resort in Northern Alberta. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors and continues to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking "isn't that obvious?"). "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day Ma'am," and he left...

MORAL OF THE STORY :
Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can think also.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial:

Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?

A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q: Officer, who provided this description?

A: The officer, who responded to the alarm.

Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?

A: Yes sir, with my life.

Q: With your life? Let me ask you this then officer - do you have a
room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?

A: Yes sir.

Q: And do you have a locker in that room?

A: Yes sir, I do.

Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?

A: Yes sir.

Q: Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?

A: You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.

With that, the courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's Best Comeback!

[Time2Surrender]

[abtchonamission]

MORAL OF THE STORY :
Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can think also.