Men and Women - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

goatfarmergal · 03-03-2005, 02:16 PM

1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth, and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head, and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None if them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar if soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any arguement.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

6. CATS
Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

abtchonamission · 03-03-2005, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Fat Boy

How did you know that every one of the guys calls Mike that???

CAPTAINZING2000 · 03-03-2005, 08:58 PM

Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They Don't Call Me Godzilla It Was Lounge Lizard

best · 03-03-2005, 11:04 PM

Quote:

6. CATS
Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

Opps! Ann is looking

I love cats Yes I do. They are so fun to be around. Nice kitty.
Oh Yes I love cats.

03-03-2005, 02:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
goatfarmergal Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: in His grace Posts: 24	Men and Women 1. NAMES If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth, and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head, and Scrappy. 2. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None if them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. 3. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale. 4. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar if soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. 5. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any arguement. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. 6. CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. 7. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 8. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 9. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. 10. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. 11. NATURAL Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 12. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. 13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

03-03-2005, 08:58 PM	#3 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,445 Blog Entries: 1	Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!! They Don't Call Me Godzilla It Was Lounge Lizard __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

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