If you are a REAL TEXAN, ... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

03-02-2005, 02:42 AM

1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin' to go to the store.
6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, flower, or animal.
7. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe-hunting" are.
8. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco
9. You think everyone from "up north" has a funny accent.
10. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
11. The local papers covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for high school football.
12. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
13. You find 90 degrees F "a little warm."
14. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas.
15. You know whether another Texan is from southern, middle, or northern Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
16. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 500 or more.
17. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World"
18. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
19. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop . it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
20. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends no matter where they live in case they are planning to visit.

Time2Surrender · 03-02-2005, 03:24 AM

Oh wow.Every single one of those are totally true.

I thought every town had a Dairy Queen.And my friends here in Oregon still give me a hard time cause to this day I still use the word "fix" as a verb.

Time2Surrender · 03-02-2005, 03:27 AM

best · 03-02-2005, 09:03 AM

Maine vs Texas

A Rancher from TX and a farmer from Maine meet up one day.
Even though we know the truth, they both start in with state size and who is bigger.
Soon they start talking ranch/farm sizes.
The Texan telling how he can get on his tractor at 5 AM and it would be 5PM before he circles the whole ranch.
The Maine farmer replies... yup yup yup... I had a tractor like that one time also.

KelKel · 03-02-2005, 09:08 AM

I caused quite a stir when I took my birth certificate into the MVD...
Just like Texas, the damn thing is BIG!!!
About 14 X 17
You got that right honey...
DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS...

or Lyle Lovett....

Brookie · 03-02-2005, 10:09 AM

Mostly true, except that I am a city Texan, and therefore wouldn't advise anybody to leave their car sitting in a parking lot with the keys running.

Definitely agree about Lyle, too. I've always thought there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who never understood what Julia Roberts saw in Lyle Lovet, and those who never understood what Lyle saw in Julia. I'll leave it up to you to guess which camp I'm in.

Chy · 03-02-2005, 10:40 AM

I was fixin to find one I could argue... but couldn't! *LMAO*

KelKel · 03-02-2005, 07:03 PM

Brookie...
Thank you for saying that, I was steamin' mad when the tabloids were saying "Ugly Duckling Marries Pretty Woman"
Lyle has a little peice of this girls heart... he is one heck of an artist.

Peaches04 · 03-02-2005, 07:30 PM

Tee shirts and boxer shorts - is there anything sexier? LOL!

03-02-2005, 02:42 AM	#1 (permalink)
Doug Guest Posts: n/a	If you are a REAL TEXAN, ... 1. You measure distance in minutes. 2. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. 3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks. 4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year. 5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin' to go to the store. 6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, flower, or animal. 7. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe-hunting" are. 8. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco 9. You think everyone from "up north" has a funny accent. 10. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts. 11. The local papers covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for high school football. 12. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. 13. You find 90 degrees F "a little warm." 14. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas. 15. You know whether another Texan is from southern, middle, or northern Texas as soon as they open their mouth. 16. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 500 or more. 17. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World" 18. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather. 19. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop . it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. 20. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends no matter where they live in case they are planning to visit.

03-02-2005, 09:03 AM	#4 (permalink)
best Don't get undies in a bunch Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA Posts: 7,166	Maine vs Texas A Rancher from TX and a farmer from Maine meet up one day. Even though we know the truth, they both start in with state size and who is bigger. Soon they start talking ranch/farm sizes. The Texan telling how he can get on his tractor at 5 AM and it would be 5PM before he circles the whole ranch. The Maine farmer replies... yup yup yup... I had a tractor like that one time also. __________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?

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03-02-2005, 03:24 AM	#2 (permalink)
Time2Surrender Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 7,263 Blog Entries: 7	Oh wow.Every single one of those are totally true. I thought every town had a Dairy Queen.And my friends here in Oregon still give me a hard time cause to this day I still use the word "fix" as a verb.

03-02-2005, 03:27 AM	#3 (permalink)
Time2Surrender Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 7,263 Blog Entries: 7

03-02-2005, 09:08 AM	#5 (permalink)
KelKel Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: The Mohave Desert Posts: 2,307	I caused quite a stir when I took my birth certificate into the MVD... Just like Texas, the damn thing is BIG!!! About 14 X 17 You got that right honey... DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS... or Lyle Lovett....

03-02-2005, 10:09 AM	#6 (permalink)
Brookie Old and in the Way Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: High and Dry Posts: 789	Mostly true, except that I am a city Texan, and therefore wouldn't advise anybody to leave their car sitting in a parking lot with the keys running. Definitely agree about Lyle, too. I've always thought there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who never understood what Julia Roberts saw in Lyle Lovet, and those who never understood what Lyle saw in Julia. I'll leave it up to you to guess which camp I'm in.

03-02-2005, 10:40 AM	#7 (permalink)
Chy Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: El Paso, Tx Posts: 5,867	I was fixin to find one I could argue... but couldn't! LMAO

03-02-2005, 07:03 PM	#8 (permalink)
KelKel Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: The Mohave Desert Posts: 2,307	Brookie... Thank you for saying that, I was steamin' mad when the tabloids were saying "Ugly Duckling Marries Pretty Woman" Lyle has a little peice of this girls heart... he is one heck of an artist.

03-02-2005, 07:30 PM	#9 (permalink)
Peaches04 Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Carrollton TX Posts: 466	Tee shirts and boxer shorts - is there anything sexier? LOL!

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