The 5 Stages of Drunkeness

[Time2Surrender]

Stage One: SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

Stage Two: GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

Stage Three: RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cause you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because you are now the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

Stage Four: BULLET PROOF
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and heck, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!

Stage Five: INVISIBLE
This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.

[best]

Originally Posted by NeverSurrender

Stage Five: INVISIBLE
This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.

Don't remember any stage 5.

I do remember that because I was rich, good looking...No I mean REALLY good looking, Smart, did I say good looking yet? Oh and Smart as well and on top of all that I was super strong and bullet proof. :lumpy
It was just good reason that people wanted to see me shake it...

I'm to sexy for my shirt Yes to sexy...ohhh I'm to sexy for my pants yes to sexy.

Oh did I tell you I am good looking, smart, AND sexy as well?
Good things need be repeated so you can be sure that others get the full benifit. Speaking louder also is a good sign that you are the smarter person.
DID I TELL YOU I AM SMART as well as GOOD LOOKING? :liar

[Time2Surrender]

I dont really rember stage 5 either.But I have heard stories and read police reports.

[best]

So glad to be sober and alive that I am able to look back and laugh at this now. Yes the next days report was always a good way to refresh the memory.

My FIL would make it to stage 3 then call for a ride and all upset. "Someone took the car. They must have hotwired it because I still have the keys" he would tell me over the phone.
Every time he would call asking for the ride, we found the car in the second row. He always parked front and center when able.

[Time2Surrender]

Yes we are very fortunate to still be around to be able to laugh at all this now.Many of my friends werent so lucky.

[abtchonamission]

Hey Best - I noticed that there is no mention of "humble." :Lmao

But don't forget - we had a discussion about clothing sizes, and I KNOW what a guy who wears your size in pants is SHAPED like. :tissue

[best]

Originally Posted by abtchonamission

Hey Best - I noticed that there is no mention of "humble." :Lmao

But don't forget - we had a discussion about clothing sizes, and I KNOW what a guy who wears your size in pants is SHAPED like. :tissue

It took for me to fit into the humble pants before I became humble *LOL*