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09-09-2004, 11:29 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| A little south of sane  Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: "For peace of mind, we need to resign as general manager of the universe."
Posts: 183
| What HE really means, a translation from Man to English "It's a guy thing." Really means... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." "Can I help with dinner?" Really means... "Why isn't it already on the table?" "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." Really means.... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling. "Good idea." Really means... "It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating." "Have you lost weight?" Really means... "I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill." "It would take too long to explain." Really means... "I have no idea how it works." "I got a lot done." Really means... "I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture." "Hey, I've read all the classics." Really means... "I've been subscribing to Playboy since 1972." "You cook just like my mother used to." Really means... "She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too." "That's interesting, dear." Really means... "Are you still talking?" "You expect too much of me." Really means... "You want me to stay awake." "You know how bad my memory is." Really means... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." "Football is a man's game." Really means... "Women are generally too smart to play it." "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." Really means... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt." "I do help around the house." Really means... "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket." "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." Really means... "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon." "I can't find it." Really means... "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." "What did I do this time?" Really means... "What did you catch me at?" "She's one of those rabid feminists." Really means... "She refused to make my coffee." "I heard you." Really means... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me." "I brought you a present." Really means... "It was free ice scraper night at the ball game." "I missed you." Really means... "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper." "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." Really means... "No one will ever see us alive again." "This relationship is getting too serious." Really means... "I like you more than my truck." "Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful."Really means... "Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?" |
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09-09-2004, 02:29 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: out there...
Posts: 2,666
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lol ... I'm guilty of saying "I can't find it" .. my sweety is the "I got a lot done" type ...She goes upstairs "to study" and the next thing I know I hear all these cannons and missles going off from whatever the game of the week she's playing is lol |
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