Rejected Surgeon General Warnings For Cigarettes

[Dan]

Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking cigarettes while masturbating could cause personal injury. Recommend taking a class to adequately prepare for such a task.

Surgeon General's Warning: Don't take this fine print too seriously; the feds make us print it.

Surgeon General's Warning: 100% pure tax.

Surgeon General's Warning: No matter how hard you try, you'll never look as cool as Bogart.

Surgeon General's Warning: This cigarette mascot has phallic facial features.

Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking during pregnancy can cause your baby to look like Herve Villacheze.

Surgeon General's Warning: If you actually wear the free clothing you get from collecting multiple empty cigarette packs, you will look like a moron.

Surgeon General's Warning: The Surgeon General has determined that cigarette smoking may cause women to look like cheap, sleazy sluts.

Surgeon General's Warning: Keith Richards is a fluke.

Surgeon General's Wwarning: The Surgeon General has determined that smoking can cause you to lead a pathetic existence sitting in a smelly designated smoking area at your job, freezing your cajones off in the middle of winter.