The Irishman's Olives.

[Dan]

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini,
each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the
jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the
Irishman started to leave.

"S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan
had done. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar
of olives."

[junem]

Ah! We better not " all live" as the Irishman!

[Dan]

I find it a little chilling when I remember just how near the truth the plain ridiculous can be, however It is good for us in sobriety to learn to laugh at ourselves."

(Anonymous)

You know you're an alcoholic when...

You frequently urinate outdoors.
.
You first wake up and you're afraid you're gonna die and a half-hour
. later you're afraid you won't.
.
You fall asleep taking a dump.
.
You believe that spilling a beer is alcohol abuse.
.
You go to the john to hurl, but you take your beer with you.
.
You find it's easier to study drunk.
.
You're on a first name basis at the detoxification center.
.
Beer ads make sense.
.
You wake up to the sound of your dog drinking out of the toilet
and you're so dry that it sounds mighty thirst quenching.
.
You wake the next morning and start drinking a few of the half
empties left sitting around the room.
.
The space on your driver's license that tells your eye color
reads "bloodshot".
.
You fall down a flight of steps and DON'T spill a drop of your
beer.
.
You mix your cocktails by the litre.
.
You grow a beard because it stops beer that's running down your
chin.
.
You put off urinating in hopes of reaching that near orgasmic
Zen-like ****.
.
You explain to your bank manager that you spent your overdraft
mainly on beer and women; "the rest I just wasted."
.
When the bottle says 20 standard drinks but you only get 5.
.
You spell Alcohol with a capital letter out of respect
.

[outsidetherain]

Cindy

[KelKel]