Ever Wonder - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Paulie · 07-08-2004, 11:07 AM

EVER WONDER....

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think I'll
squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm
gonna
eat
the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

4. Why is there a light in almost all fridges and not one in most
freezers?

5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about
him?

6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of
coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
are going to look up there anyway?

10. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're
both
dogs!

11. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
didn't
he just buy dinner?

12. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

13. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables,
then what is baby oil made from?

14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?

15. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

16. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have
the
same
tune?

17. Stop singing and read on ...

18. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

19. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,
but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

20. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?

21. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
faster?

lulu70 · 07-08-2004, 01:16 PM

Thanks for the giggle!

sherbear5104 · 07-08-2004, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulie

17. Stop singing and read on ...

How did you know?

bikewench · 07-08-2004, 08:33 PM

LOL...

Loved the chicken one.

Debbie · 07-10-2004, 06:18 AM

Ha ha!

spirit · 07-10-2004, 06:24 AM

why do we clean the toilet before visitors come, just in case they use it and then 'dirty' it again hahahaha

kath

07-08-2004, 11:07 AM	#1 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,785	Ever Wonder EVER WONDER.... 1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" 2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt." 3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? 4. Why is there a light in almost all fridges and not one in most freezers? 5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? 6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? 7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? 8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? 9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? 10. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! 11. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? 12. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? 13. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? 14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? 15. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? 16. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? 17. Stop singing and read on ... 18. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? 19. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? 20. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? 21. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

07-10-2004, 06:24 AM	#6 (permalink)
spirit spirit Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: perth,western australia Posts: 1,460	why do we clean the toilet before visitors come, just in case they use it and then 'dirty' it again hahahaha kath __________________ spirit still here

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07-08-2004, 01:16 PM	#2 (permalink)
lulu70 We all need each other. Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: The road of happy destiny. Posts: 2,294	Thanks for the giggle!

07-08-2004, 08:33 PM	#4 (permalink)
bikewench Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: western canada Posts: 1,441	LOL... Loved the chicken one.

07-10-2004, 06:18 AM	#5 (permalink)
Debbie I used to work here ;) Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :) Posts: 2,016	Ha ha!

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