The texas test

[CAPTAINZING2000]

The Texas Test

1. Which of the following foods should be fried?
   1. all foods
   2. all foods
   3. all foods
   4. all foods
2. If you divorce your wife, is she still your sister?
   1. True
   2. False
3. What is 8 + 3?
   1. what?
   2. the number of people living in your trailer home
   3. fertilizer
   4. The number eight, Jesus, and the number three
4. I will cheat on my husband:
   1. for a quart of Schlitz
   2. not for all the chewing tobacco in the world
   3. because he cheats on our daughter
   4. if he doesn't give me back my bowling glove
5. I wash my underwear when:
   1. I go swimming with it on
   2. I wash my truck
   3. it gets brittle
   4. it rains
6. I brush my teeth when:
   1. I wash my truck
   2. they bleed
   3. it rains
   4. Never. I don't have teeth
7. How many cars and/or trucks are parked in your yard?
   1. 15-20
   2. 21-25
   3. 26-30
   4. beer
8. My favorite book is:
   1. TV Guide
   2. Jaws
   3. Bob Barker's Bio
   4. What is a book?
9. Country music is so great because:
   1. it makes me cry
   2. it goes good with fried food
   3. they play it at all our favorite truck stops
   4. Black people can't dance to it
10. Nothing is more intellectually stimulating than:
    1. Oprah
    2. okra
    3. a V8 engine
    4. greased up goats
11. Cholesterol is:
    1. monster truck fuel
    2. a laxative
    3. a communist effort to overthrow Texas
    4. don't know
12. Complete the sentence: "That ole boy
    1. is slipperier than snot on a door knob."
    2. is tougher than prison bacon."
    3. is uglier than a mud fence."
    4. is one little fork short of a fondue party"
13. Women should:
    1. never clean house unless they're naked
    2. put gravy on everything
    3. cost less
    4. bait their own hook

[hja1407]

Bet that you think you are funny with that one! ok you are but that's not the point. LOL!

[suki44883]

I think you have Texas confused with Arkansas. You need to work on that.

[Believe808]

Well, you are at it again. Must be:
a) bored
b) crummy weather
c) no work today
d) all of the above

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Originally Posted by hja1407

Bet that you think you are funny with that one! ok you are but that's not the point. LOL!

I got that from a guy in Texas

HA!!!!!!!

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Originally Posted by suki44883

I think you have Texas confused with Arkansas. You need to work on that.

Isn't that where Texarkana comes into play???

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Originally Posted by Believe808

Well, you are at it again. Must be:
a) bored

and the answer is

[ANGELINA243]

Originally Posted by CAPTAINZING2000

Isn't that where Texarkana comes into play???

Now that is funny!

As far as the original post--well, that was funny too (shaking head in disbelief)

[GwenMarie30]

Im from Texas and I thought it funny Captain! Unfortunately I have relatives that can answer yes to every one of those. Especially the one about the teeth and the underwear. Lol.

[CAPTAINZING2000]

oh that's bad

[Dime]

Hey I resemble that!!

Man your right about that frying thing. There's even chicken fried bacon to be had by those wanting immediate chest pain.

Not too many years ago here it was legal to drink and drive. On the upside the beer cans still light the road side at night.

Oh yeah, the Gulf is warm enough to stick your toes in today. Poked my toes in yesterday.

Sweet Indeed!

[CAPTAINZING2000]

You had to toss in the water is warm

We're at 70 here today. First time since March.

matter of fact, march was as warm if, not warmer then April has been here