The texas test - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

CAPTAINZING2000 · 04-08-2009, 01:29 PM

The Texas Test

Which of the following foods should be fried?
1. all foods
2. all foods
3. all foods
4. all foods
If you divorce your wife, is she still your sister?
1. True
2. False
What is 8 + 3?
1. what?
2. the number of people living in your trailer home
3. fertilizer
4. The number eight, Jesus, and the number three
I will cheat on my husband:
1. for a quart of Schlitz
2. not for all the chewing tobacco in the world
3. because he cheats on our daughter
4. if he doesn't give me back my bowling glove
I wash my underwear when:
1. I go swimming with it on
2. I wash my truck
3. it gets brittle
4. it rains
I brush my teeth when:
1. I wash my truck
2. they bleed
3. it rains
4. Never. I don't have teeth
How many cars and/or trucks are parked in your yard?
1. 15-20
2. 21-25
3. 26-30
4. beer
My favorite book is:
1. TV Guide
2. Jaws
3. Bob Barker's Bio
4. What is a book?
Country music is so great because:
1. it makes me cry
2. it goes good with fried food
3. they play it at all our favorite truck stops
4. Black people can't dance to it
Nothing is more intellectually stimulating than:
1. Oprah
2. okra
3. a V8 engine
4. greased up goats
Cholesterol is:
1. monster truck fuel
2. a laxative
3. a communist effort to overthrow Texas
4. don't know
Complete the sentence: "That ole boy
1. is slipperier than snot on a door knob."
2. is tougher than prison bacon."
3. is uglier than a mud fence."
4. is one little fork short of a fondue party"
Women should:
1. never clean house unless they're naked
2. put gravy on everything
3. cost less
4. bait their own hook

hja1407 · 04-16-2009, 09:30 AM

Bet that you think you are funny with that one! ok you are but that's not the point. LOL!

suki44883 · 04-16-2009, 09:32 AM

I think you have Texas confused with Arkansas. You need to work on that.

Believe808 · 04-16-2009, 09:39 AM

Well, you are at it again. Must be:
a) bored
b) crummy weather
c) no work today
d) all of the above

CAPTAINZING2000 · 04-16-2009, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hja1407

Bet that you think you are funny with that one! ok you are but that's not the point. LOL!

I got that from a guy in Texas

HA!!!!!!!

CAPTAINZING2000 · 04-16-2009, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suki44883

I think you have Texas confused with Arkansas. You need to work on that.

Isn't that where Texarkana comes into play???

CAPTAINZING2000 · 04-16-2009, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Believe808

Well, you are at it again. Must be:
a) bored

and the answer is

***ANGELINA243*** · 04-16-2009, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CAPTAINZING2000

Isn't that where Texarkana comes into play???

Now that is funny!

As far as the original post--well, that was funny too (shaking head in disbelief)

GwenMarie30 · 04-16-2009, 08:06 PM

Im from Texas and I thought it funny Captain! Unfortunately I have relatives that can answer yes to every one of those. Especially the one about the teeth and the underwear. Lol.

CAPTAINZING2000 · 04-16-2009, 09:43 PM

oh that's bad

Dime · 04-17-2009, 01:42 PM

Hey I resemble that!!

Man your right about that frying thing. There's even chicken fried bacon to be had by those wanting immediate chest pain.

Not too many years ago here it was legal to drink and drive. On the upside the beer cans still light the road side at night.

Oh yeah, the Gulf is warm enough to stick your toes in today. Poked my toes in yesterday.

Sweet Indeed!

CAPTAINZING2000 · 04-17-2009, 01:58 PM

You had to toss in the water is warm

We're at 70 here today. First time since March.

matter of fact, march was as warm if, not warmer then April has been here

04-08-2009, 01:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,445 Blog Entries: 1	The texas test The Texas Test Which of the following foods should be fried? all foods all foods all foods all foods If you divorce your wife, is she still your sister? True False What is 8 + 3? what? the number of people living in your trailer home fertilizer The number eight, Jesus, and the number three I will cheat on my husband: for a quart of Schlitz not for all the chewing tobacco in the world because he cheats on our daughter if he doesn't give me back my bowling glove I wash my underwear when: I go swimming with it on I wash my truck it gets brittle it rains I brush my teeth when: I wash my truck they bleed it rains Never. I don't have teeth How many cars and/or trucks are parked in your yard? 15-20 21-25 26-30 beer My favorite book is: TV Guide Jaws Bob Barker's Bio What is a book? Country music is so great because: it makes me cry it goes good with fried food they play it at all our favorite truck stops Black people can't dance to it Nothing is more intellectually stimulating than: Oprah okra a V8 engine greased up goats Cholesterol is: monster truck fuel a laxative a communist effort to overthrow Texas don't know Complete the sentence: "That ole boy is slipperier than snot on a door knob." is tougher than prison bacon." is uglier than a mud fence." is one little fork short of a fondue party" Women should: never clean house unless they're naked put gravy on everything cost less bait their own hook __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

04-16-2009, 09:30 AM	#2 (permalink)
hja1407 All in God's Hands Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 81	Ha ha Bet that you think you are funny with that one! ok you are but that's not the point. LOL! __________________ You do not get to chose how you are going to die or when. You can only decide how you are going to live. Joan Baez Where there is great love there are always miracles. Sarah Knowles Bolton

04-16-2009, 09:32 AM	#3 (permalink)
suki44883 Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Somewhere Out There Posts: 9,085	I think you have Texas confused with Arkansas. You need to work on that. __________________ We call them dumb animals, and so they are, for they cannot tell us how they feel, but they do not suffer less because they have no words. - Anna Sewell - So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key. - The Eagles

04-16-2009, 08:06 PM	#9 (permalink)
GwenMarie30 Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Union Mo Posts: 657	Im from Texas and I thought it funny Captain! Unfortunately I have relatives that can answer yes to every one of those. Especially the one about the teeth and the underwear. Lol. __________________ The heart doesnt need reasons to love someone just the opportunity.

04-16-2009, 09:43 PM	#10 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,445 Blog Entries: 1	oh that's bad __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

04-16-2009, 09:39 AM	#4 (permalink)
Believe808 Miracles Happen Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 9,977	Well, you are at it again. Must be: a) bored b) crummy weather c) no work today d) all of the above

04-17-2009, 01:42 PM	#11 (permalink)
Dime Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 1,117	*Hey I resemble that!!* Man your right about that frying thing. There's even chicken fried bacon to be had by those wanting immediate chest pain. Not too many years ago here it was legal to drink and drive. On the upside the beer cans still light the road side at night. Oh yeah, the Gulf is warm enough to stick your toes in today. Poked my toes in yesterday. Sweet Indeed!

04-17-2009, 01:58 PM	#12 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,445 Blog Entries: 1	You had to toss in the water is warm We're at 70 here today. First time since March. matter of fact, march was as warm if, not warmer then April has been here __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode