We are not a "Glum Lot"

[Pinkcuda]

Yes we are. I haven't heard too many jokes, anecdotes, ribbing, poking fun at, horseplay, jocularity, comedy, comicality, comicalness, drollery, drollness, farcicality, funniness, humorousness, jocoseness, jocosity, ludicrousness, ridiculousness, wit, wittiness, zaniness, or anything of the likes. Ever here on SR.
Humor is a "Must". Especially on a 12 step forum. " We absolutely insist on enjoying life." (page 132) We have no trouble laughing in Meetings. What's the problem here? We tout (to describe or advertise boastfully; publicize or promote; praise extravagantly) 12 step recovery, yet we can't seem to display it here. We should be setting a shining example, shouldn't we? Doesn't God want us to be Happy, Joyous and Free?
Alcoholism is a serious issue. That I will guarantee. Does that require us to be a stick in the mud?
I promise to quit being so damn serious if you guys will.
Would somebody please tell a joke or something?


BB Quote: 1st Edition

[Rob B]

How can you tell an alcoholic at an orgie?

He's the guy calling out his own name.

[yukonm]

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and said "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some
woman wanting to know if the coast is clear"

[Pinkcuda]

According to the Gospel of John, the Pharisees, in an attempt to discredit Jesus, brought a woman charged with adultery before him. Then they reminded Jesus that adultery was punishable by stoning under Mosaic law and challenged him to judge the woman so that they might then accuse him of disobeying the law. Jesus thought for a moment and then replied, “He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her.”
Just then the Woman is hit in the head with a stone right in front of Jesus.
Jesus looks to the crowd and says, "I wasn't talking to you Mom.

[navysteve]

A mailman is making his deliveries one Christmas Eve. He comes up to a home and the lady of the house asks him if he would like to have some breakfast. Not one to miss a meal, the mailman eagerly goes in and sits down and enjoys a wonderful breakfast. After morning coffee the lady asks him if he would care to make love upstairs. Once again, not one to pass up a good romp our hero went upstairs and...

Afterwards, while lying in all his glory, the lady hands him a dollar. Quite perplexed the mailman says " Yo lady, what gives, you feed me, you f**k me, then hand me a dollar. What is up with that?"

"Well" says the lady, " I was asking my hubby what to get the mailman for Christmas and he said screw the mailman give him a dollar." "The breakfast was my idea."

[Pinkcuda]

Here's one for ya Steve.
YouTube - Benny Hill in "Hullo Sailor" - the drunker he gets, the prettier she gets!

[Barto]

Affairs

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home.

'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.

'I can't lie to you,' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.'

She looked down at his shoes and said:

'You lying *******! You've been playing golf!'


2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!'

3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part.. It must be saved for posterity.' So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

'Oh, no!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!'

[Pinkcuda]

Either cut it off or bury Schwartz face down over a well.

[CarolD]

Hmm...
Obviously the posts have nothing to do with
recovery from alcoholism or
our Alcoholism 12 Step Support Forum.

Sooo...I moved it here to Follies.

[adore79]

The funniest part is when he falls on his ice cream lol

[Wolfchild]

A man is driving down the freeway with his two pet penguins when he gets pulled over by a cop for speeding. After the cop hands over the speeding ticket to the driver, he notices the 2 penguins. The cop informs the driver that he must take the penguins to the zoo. The driver agrees to do so.
Two months later, the same man is pulled over by the same cop for speeding. The cop notices the penguins again only now they are wearing sun glasses and eating ice cream.
The cop says, "I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo."
The man responds, "I did take them to the zoo, now I'm taking them to the beach."

[scaredykat]

I have no jokes. But i enjoyed reading all of them.