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| I used to work here ;) Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,016
| Jokes again!
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, where exactly is Larry's bar?" ================================================== An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife." ================================================ John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request,Dear," he said. "Of course, John," his wife said softly. "Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Joe." "But I thought you hated Joe," she said. With his last breath, John said, "I do!" ================================================== = A man picks up a young woman in a bar and convinces her to come back to his hotel. When they are relaxing afterwards, he asks, "Am I the first man you ever made love to?" She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying. "You might be," she says. "Your face looks familiar." ================================================= Man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I Have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?" The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know." A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?" The man said "Yes." The Rabbi replied, "Take the poison." |
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| | #2 (permalink) |
| ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,794
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LMAO!!!!!!!!~
__________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~ |
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| | #3 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake
Posts: 25,172
|
LOL - I'll bet these came from your dad
__________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~ |
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| | #5 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake
Posts: 25,172
|
I love that man!!! No wonder you are so nice and I think you inherited his sense of humour LOL.
__________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~ |
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| | #6 (permalink) |
| I used to work here ;) Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,016
|
You are sweet... Whatever you do though, don't get on his mail list......I have a folder completely devoted to my dads mailings, it takes me hours to read them...... |
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