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Old 02-27-2009, 12:56 PM   #1 (permalink)
Psalm 118:24
 
CAPTAINZING2000's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
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Red face Midlife

Midlife
  • Midlife is when the growth of the hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.
  • Midlife is when you bounce (a lot), but you don't bounce back. It's more like splat!
  • Midlife is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked.
  • Midlife is when you go for a mammogram and you realize it is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless in a film.
  • Midlife brings the wisdom that life throws you curves and that you're now sitting on your biggest ones.
  • Midlife can bring out your angry, bitter side. You look at your latte-swilling, beeper-wearing know-it-all teenager and think, "For this I have stretch marks?"
  • Midlife is when your memory really starts to go: the only thing you still retain is water.
  • The good news about midlife is that the glass is still half-full. Of course, the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it.
  • You know you've crossed the midlife threshold when you're in the grocery store and you hear a Muzak version of "Stairway to Heaven" in the produce department.
  • Midlife is when your 1970's Body-by-Jake now includes Legs-by-Rand McNally (more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of the state of Wisconsin).
  • You become more reflective in midlife. You start pondering the "big" questions: what is life, why am I here and how much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice.
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LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU
WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE
IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD


J - Jesus first
O - Others next
Y - Yourself last

John 14:6
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Old 02-27-2009, 08:26 PM   #2 (permalink)
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........... Yeah, all true, I can attest to this.
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"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you." (Jerem 29:11-12)
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Old 02-27-2009, 08:37 PM   #3 (permalink)
Hell on Wheels
 
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me too
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Good Better best never let it rest until you kick the dog shi! out of the looser!!!!!!!!!
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Old 03-01-2009, 11:25 AM   #4 (permalink)
To Life!
 
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Me too,

But, Capt?
How'd the last mamogram come out?

Shalom!
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IMAGINE
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Old 03-01-2009, 05:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
Psalm 118:24
 
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
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YouTube - Funny Bud Light Commercial - Sunburn
__________________
LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU
WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE
IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD


J - Jesus first
O - Others next
Y - Yourself last

John 14:6
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