Midlife - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

CAPTAINZING2000 · 02-27-2009, 12:56 PM

Midlife
Midlife is when the growth of the hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

Midlife is when you bounce (a lot), but you don't bounce back. It's more like splat!

Midlife is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked.

Midlife is when you go for a mammogram and you realize it is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless in a film.

Midlife brings the wisdom that life throws you curves and that you're now sitting on your biggest ones.

Midlife can bring out your angry, bitter side. You look at your latte-swilling, beeper-wearing know-it-all teenager and think, "For this I have stretch marks?"

Midlife is when your memory really starts to go: the only thing you still retain is water.

The good news about midlife is that the glass is still half-full. Of course, the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it.

You know you've crossed the midlife threshold when you're in the grocery store and you hear a Muzak version of "Stairway to Heaven" in the produce department.

Midlife is when your 1970's Body-by-Jake now includes Legs-by-Rand McNally (more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of the state of Wisconsin).

You become more reflective in midlife. You start pondering the "big" questions: what is life, why am I here and how much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice.

NeedingHelp7 · 02-27-2009, 08:26 PM

...........

Yeah, all true, I can attest to this.

WLDKATZ · 02-27-2009, 08:37 PM

me too

historyteach · 03-01-2009, 11:25 AM

Me too,

But, Capt?
How'd the last mamogram come out?

Shalom!

CAPTAINZING2000 · 03-01-2009, 05:52 PM

YouTube - Funny Bud Light Commercial - Sunburn

02-27-2009, 12:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,637 Blog Entries: 1	Midlife Midlife Midlife is when the growth of the hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache. Midlife is when you bounce (a lot), but you don't bounce back. It's more like splat! Midlife is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked. Midlife is when you go for a mammogram and you realize it is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless in a film. Midlife brings the wisdom that life throws you curves and that you're now sitting on your biggest ones. Midlife can bring out your angry, bitter side. You look at your latte-swilling, beeper-wearing know-it-all teenager and think, "For this I have stretch marks?" Midlife is when your memory really starts to go: the only thing you still retain is water. The good news about midlife is that the glass is still half-full. Of course, the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it. You know you've crossed the midlife threshold when you're in the grocery store and you hear a Muzak version of "Stairway to Heaven" in the produce department. Midlife is when your 1970's Body-by-Jake now includes Legs-by-Rand McNally (more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of the state of Wisconsin). You become more reflective in midlife. You start pondering the "big" questions: what is life, why am I here and how much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice. __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

02-27-2009, 08:26 PM	#2 (permalink)
NeedingHelp7 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NY Posts: 1,057	........... Yeah, all true, I can attest to this. __________________ "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you." (Jerem 29:11-12)

02-27-2009, 08:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
WLDKATZ Hell on Wheels Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Flint MI Posts: 4,455	me too __________________ Good Better best never let it rest until you kick the dog shi! out of the looser!!!!!!!!!

03-01-2009, 11:25 AM	#4 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 9,300	Me too, But, Capt? How'd the last mamogram come out? Shalom! __________________ IMAGINE

03-01-2009, 05:52 PM	#5 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,637 Blog Entries: 1	YouTube - Funny Bud Light Commercial - Sunburn __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)