men only no peeking ladies - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

CAPTAINZING2000 · 01-22-2009, 09:30 PM

Men Only No Peeking Girls
If Men Ruled the World...

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.

Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."

Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.

Birth control would come in ale or lager.

You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J'Blowme."

Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.

The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

"Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

Tanks would be far easier to rent.

Garbage would take itself out.

Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"

Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

"Cops" would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops.(Or to the crooks.)

The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football From A Different Camera Angle."

Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

stone · 01-22-2009, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

30 seconds is plenty of time for any phone call!

allport · 01-23-2009, 07:40 AM

Tut Tut Captain you are a bad man.

Funny though !

Peter · 01-23-2009, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.

BWAHAHAHAHA.....

...

CAPTAINZING2000 · 01-23-2009, 08:19 PM

That's better then coyote love

Biting your arm off to leave in the morning without waking them up

01-22-2009, 09:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,637 Blog Entries: 1	men only no peeking ladies Men Only No Peeking Girls If Men Ruled the World... Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you." Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it. Birth control would come in ale or lager. You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J'Blowme." Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO. "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness. Tanks would be far easier to rent. Garbage would take itself out. Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps." Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!" Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. "Cops" would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops.(Or to the crooks.) The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football From A Different Camera Angle." Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation. __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

01-23-2009, 07:40 AM	#3 (permalink)
allport Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: north yorkshire, england Posts: 1,895	Tut Tut Captain you are a bad man. Funny though ! __________________ 'Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too' Douglas Adams

01-23-2009, 08:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,637 Blog Entries: 1	That's better then coyote love Biting your arm off to leave in the morning without waking them up __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)