 |
|---|
 |
 |
 |
| | |
|
|
| |||||||
 |
| | LinkBack | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
12-25-2008, 05:26 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Recovering Addict  Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Ocean County NJ
Posts: 950
| What if santa
WHAT IF SANTA ANSWERED HIS LETTERS HONESTLY?  Dear Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a freaking book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, You're parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane and Mom's not putting up with it anymore, and besides do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Lego's instead. Santa Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Is that all? Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I think your just getting Lego's too. Santa Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch. Santa Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa Dear Santa, I really, really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE,PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging **** may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our house? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays To All Stay Strong Ivan
__________________ One Addict Helping Another…Towards Freedom From Active Addiction... |
|      |
| The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Timebuster For This Useful Post: |
|
12-26-2008, 04:44 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Sharing Our Light  Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake
Posts: 18,168
|
Very Funny! 
__________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~  |
|
| |
|
| Bookmarks |
| Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
| |
| |
© 2007 SoberRecovery, LLC. |
The SoberRecovery Forums are operated under a grant from The Mulligan Group
Linear Mode
