Life Thoughts By Ducky

[chiynita]

LIFE THOUGHTS BY DUCKY
>
> Marriage changes passion.?
> Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
>

> I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
> So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.
>


> How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ??
>
>
> Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my "own" pants.
>
> I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
�
>
> When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'
>
> Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
>

> Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

> Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
>
> Wouldn't you know it....
> Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
>
>
> Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
>

> Bumper sticker of the year:?
> 'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'
>
> And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.?

[liveweyerd]

Those are Great, thank you.

I am a strong supporter of the separation of church and state, so you have also given me food for thought. I wonder if I were called to swear in if I could excercise my religious freedom and take my oath without the Bible?
Wait a minute, I know the answer...the last time I was in court, the judge was not in the room but conferencing thro audio/visual equipment and we were asked to raise our right hand and swear to tell the truth etc.
I was pissed about being there and answered I MOST CERTAINLY DO!...the staff got a chuckle and commented that is what they like to hear! I intended to completely refute the civil statement about me and tell it like it was! And make the compaintant look like the fool they were acting as.