That's When The Fight Started......

[soizan]

> Subject: That's when the fight started...> > > > > > I rear-ended a car this morning.> > So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other> driver got out of> > his car.> > You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and> little things just> > seem funny?> > Yeah, well I couldn't believe it . . . . he was a> dwarf!!!> > He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,> 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'> > So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which> one are you?'> > > That's when the fight started.....> > ************ ********* ********* ********* *********> ********* *********> > When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take> her someplace> expensive. So I took her to a gas station.> > That's when the fight started...> > ************ ********* ********* ********* *********> ********* *********> > After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to> apply. The woman> behind > > the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify> my age. I looked in> my > > pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.> > I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to> go home and come> back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your> shirt'. So I opened> my shirt > > revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver> hair on your chest> is proof > > enough for me' and she processed my Social Security> application.> > When I got home, I told my wife about my experience at the> Social Security> office.> > She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You> might have gotten> disability, too'.> > That's when the fight started...> > ************ ********* ********* ********* *********> ********* *********> > My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school> reunion, and I kept> staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as> she sat alone at a> nearby> table.> My wife asked,' Do you know her?'> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old> girlfriend. I understand she took to> drinking> right after we split up those many years ago, and> I hear she> hasn't been> sober since.'> 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would> think a person could go on> celebrating> that long?'> > That's when the fight started...> > _____