Parent Definitions - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Doug · 12-06-2007, 02:04 AM

Words that you or I would commonly use for one meaning, have a completely different meaning to parents in a family...

AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

BOTTLE FEEDING: an opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 AM too.

DEFENSE: what you'd better have around the yard if you're going to let the children play outside.

DROOLING: how teething babies wash their chins.

DUMB WAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you from falling into financial disaster.

FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

LOOK OUT!: what it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

OWWW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.

PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: a contradiction in terms.

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

STOREROOM: the distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

TEMPER TANTRUMS: what you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

THUNDERSTORM: a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: able to whine in words.

WEAKER SEX: the kind you have after the kids have worn you out.

WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house.

WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge".

**Ann** · 12-06-2007, 02:14 AM

Quote:

FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.

Echoes of my childhood. I got called my full name a lot

historyteach · 12-06-2007, 04:11 AM

Quote:

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

:mock ...

...

That's the one that kept me laughing till my belly hurt!

L'Chaim

***MsPINKAcres*** · 12-07-2007, 11:13 AM

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

this is NOT limited to boys - trust me!!

my girls decided to practice "bungy jumping" from their top bunk -

12-06-2007, 02:04 AM	#1 (permalink)
Doug Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: S.E. Mich. Posts: 1,442	Parent Definitions Words that you or I would commonly use for one meaning, have a completely different meaning to parents in a family... AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again. BOTTLE FEEDING: an opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 AM too. DEFENSE: what you'd better have around the yard if you're going to let the children play outside. DROOLING: how teething babies wash their chins. DUMB WAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you from falling into financial disaster. FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him. GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. IMPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid. INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. LOOK OUT!: what it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it. OWWW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings. PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own. PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: a contradiction in terms. PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes. SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours. STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it. STOREROOM: the distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything. TEMPER TANTRUMS: what you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children. THUNDERSTORM: a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed. TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises. VERBAL: able to whine in words. WEAKER SEX: the kind you have after the kids have worn you out. WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house. WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge".

12-07-2007, 11:13 AM	#4 (permalink)
*MsPINKAcres* Living in a Pinkful Place Join Date: May 2006 Location: Louisiana Posts: 5,818	TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. this is NOT limited to boys - trust me!! my girls decided to practice "bungy jumping" from their top bunk - __________________ ". . . let the understanding, love and peace of the program grow in you One Day at a Time." From the Al-Anon Suggested Closing It is very difficult to have a pity party when celebrating all the gratitude I have in my life!

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