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12-06-2007, 02:04 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Administrator  Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: S.E. Mich.
Posts: 1,438
| Parent Definitions Words that you or I would commonly use for one meaning, have a completely different meaning to parents in a family... AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again. BOTTLE FEEDING: an opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 AM too. DEFENSE: what you'd better have around the yard if you're going to let the children play outside. DROOLING: how teething babies wash their chins. DUMB WAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you from falling into financial disaster. FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him. GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. IMPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid. INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. LOOK OUT!: what it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it. OWWW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings. PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own. PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: a contradiction in terms. PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes. SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours. STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it. STOREROOM: the distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything. TEMPER TANTRUMS: what you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children. THUNDERSTORM: a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed. TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises. VERBAL: able to whine in words. WEAKER SEX: the kind you have after the kids have worn you out. WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house. WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge". |
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12-06-2007, 02:14 AM
| #2 (permalink) | |
| Sharing Our Light  Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake
Posts: 18,168
| Quote:
__________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~  | |
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12-06-2007, 04:11 AM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| To Life!  Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 8,882
| Quote:
 ...  That's the one that kept me laughing till my belly hurt! L'Chaim
__________________ IMAGINE | |
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12-07-2007, 11:13 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Living in a Pinkful Place  Join Date: May 2006 Location: Louisiana
Posts: 4,196
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TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. this is NOT limited to boys - trust me!! my girls decided to practice "bungy jumping" from their top bunk -
__________________ ". . . let the understanding, love and peace of the program grow in you One Day at a Time." From the Al-Anon Suggested Closing |
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