The Drunk - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Doug · 11-01-2007, 06:37 AM

From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other
patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--,flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the sherriffs office. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud non-drinker. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy"

kelsh · 11-01-2007, 09:33 AM

Hi Doug,

Funny...good way for me to start my day!!! Maybe that is why not very many prominent people get arrested in our little town!

**Astro** · 11-01-2007, 11:11 AM

Oh man, how come I never thought of using one of those?

Thanks Doug!

Doug · 11-02-2007, 02:08 AM

I never did either Astro. Speaking for experience I'd say because real alkies don't think there's a problem that needs a decoy.

**Ann** · 11-02-2007, 06:53 AM

That was funny

11-01-2007, 06:37 AM	#1 (permalink)
Doug Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: S.E. Mich. Posts: 1,442	The Drunk From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--,flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road. The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the sherriffs office. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken." "I doubt it," said the truly proud non-drinker. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy"

11-01-2007, 09:33 AM	#2 (permalink)
kelsh Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Omak WA Posts: 1,048	Hi Doug, Funny...good way for me to start my day!!! Maybe that is why not very many prominent people get arrested in our little town! __________________ God Grant Me the Serenity to Accept the Things I Cannot Change..the Courage to Change the Things I Can Change..and the Wisdom to Know the Diifference. Sobriety Date: July 10, 1988

11-01-2007, 11:11 AM	#3 (permalink)
Astro Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family! Posts: 11,833	Oh man, how come I never thought of using one of those? Thanks Doug! __________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---WOW-What a ride!"

11-02-2007, 06:53 AM	#5 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,172	That was funny __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

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11-02-2007, 02:08 AM	#4 (permalink)
Doug Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: S.E. Mich. Posts: 1,442	I never did either Astro. Speaking for experience I'd say because real alkies don't think there's a problem that needs a decoy.

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