What Religion Is Your Bra?

[StillInTheDumps]

Monday Once Again- Final Exam
> An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam
after a
> semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
> The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor
picked up
> his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using
everything
> we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not
exist."
> Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious
fashion.
Some
> students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the
existence
> of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished
in
less
> than a minute.
> Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group
wondered
how
> he could have gotten an "A" when he had barely written anything at
all.
His
> answer consisted of two words:
> ........"What chair?"

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> *** What Religion Is Your Bra? A man walked into the ladies
department
of a
> Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said,
"I'd
> like to buy a bra for my wife."
> "What type of bra?" asked the clerk. "Type?" inquires the man,
"There is
> more than one type?"
> "Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in
every
> shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all
of
this
> variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from."
> Relieved, the man asked about the types.
> The saleslady replied "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army,
the
> Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"
> Now befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
> The saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple...
> The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type
lifts the
> fallen, The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and
the
Baptist
> makes mountains out of mole hills."
>
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> ***Somewhere in London
> An American stood in London looking at a large building.
> A British boy walked by and stood beside the American. "You know,
boy," said
> the American, "in the States we have that kind of building too, but
they are
> four times higher." "Really?" replied the boy. "How sad. That is a
mental hospital."
>

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> *** Walking
> The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the class
was in

> full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe
properly,
> along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at
this
> stage of the plan.
> The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you.
Walking is
> especially beneficial. And, Gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take
the time
> to go walking with your partner.!"
> The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group
raised
> his hand. "Yes?" replied the teacher.> "Is it all right if she
carries a golf bag while we walk?"

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> ***The Confession
> A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the
> confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing
building
> supplies from the lumberyard where he worked. "What did you take?"
his
> priest asked. "Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's
house
> and houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake." "This
is very
> serious," the priest said. "I shall have to think of a far-reaching
> penance. Have you ever done a retreat?" "No, Father, I haven't," the
man
> replied. "But if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber."