Here Kitty, Kitty

[Debbie]

This is definitely a little off-color, so don't be offended. And just to remind you, I am a government worker and I have never done any of that stuff



Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Worker.

To Show off, the Engineer called to his cat, "T-square, do your
stuff."

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into four equal piles of three cookies each.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a ten ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly eight ounces without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was good too.

Then the three turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your cat do?"

The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break,
do your stuff."

Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk,
peed on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.