So I was at Walmart today............. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Time2Surrender · 01-07-2007, 07:13 PM

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog... Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load you pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said that food is nutritionally complete so I was gong to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no...I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

GreenTea · 01-07-2007, 08:56 PM

Niiiiiice!!!

"...Here's your sign..."

elizabeth1979 · 01-08-2007, 12:51 PM

Thats freakin hysterical to me...I have since forwarded!

***MsPINKAcres*** · 01-08-2007, 01:38 PM

Was she a blonde???????

Just joking!!
That is too funny!!

NYCGirl · 01-08-2007, 06:56 PM

Rotfl

**Ann** · 01-09-2007, 02:15 PM

Good One Mike!!

barb dwyer · 01-13-2007, 06:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Japic05

Was she a blonde???????
Just joking!!
That is too funny!!

... hey, now!

TheGirlInside · 01-15-2007, 02:56 PM

T2S,

Awesome!!! I've seen it before, and was laughing the whole way through, but then when I got to the punchline (he was licking his ba*** in that one), I just about fell out of my chair!!

ANd, naturally, passed it on.

01-07-2007, 07:13 PM	#1 (permalink)
Time2Surrender Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 7,263 Blog Entries: 7	So I was at Walmart today............. I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog... Duh! I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load you pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said that food is nutritionally complete so I was gong to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital. I said no...I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

01-07-2007, 08:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
GreenTea Illegitimi Non Carborundum Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Old Home Terra Posts: 4,272	Niiiiiice!!! "...Here's your sign..." __________________ Ego is the root of all evil.

01-08-2007, 12:51 PM	#3 (permalink)
elizabeth1979 Acting not reacting Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: My happy place Posts: 1,790	Thats freakin hysterical to me...I have since forwarded! __________________ The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. -- Marya Mannes (1904-1990) American Journalist

01-09-2007, 02:15 PM	#6 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,172	Good One Mike!! __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

01-15-2007, 02:56 PM	#8 (permalink)
TheGirlInside In Recovery Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Upper Midwest Posts: 259	T2S, Awesome!!! I've seen it before, and was laughing the whole way through, but then when I got to the punchline (he was licking his ba*** in that one), I just about fell out of my chair!! ANd, naturally, passed it on. __________________ Kari No Storm Can Shake my innermost calm while to that rock I'm clinging... Since Love is Lord o'er Heaven and Earth, How can I keep from Singing? -Enya (old Quaker hymn)

01-08-2007, 01:38 PM	#4 (permalink)
*MsPINKAcres* Living in a Pinkful Place Join Date: May 2006 Location: Louisiana Posts: 5,818	Was she a blonde??????? Just joking!! That is too funny!!

01-08-2007, 06:56 PM	#5 (permalink)
NYCGirl Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Finding out what I have been missing! Posts: 1,012	Rotfl

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