Who is Jack Schitt? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Doug · 12-13-2006, 03:25 PM

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt, " you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt

**Astro** · 12-13-2006, 03:37 PM

Doug, you are too much!! Thanks for a badly needed laugh!

***cmc*** · 12-13-2006, 03:44 PM

happyagain · 12-13-2006, 09:12 PM

roflmao!!!!! i read it to my dad and he started laughing so hard he was crying...thanx!!!!!!!!

**Ann** · 12-14-2006, 03:53 AM

And I thought MY family was dysfuntional!

***MsPINKAcres*** · 12-14-2006, 01:14 PM

Hey can I borrow this to give to the next person who says they have traced their geneology back to the 1st century!!!!!

"Here's my family history.
Thanks,
U. Kan Eat Schitt"

TheGirlInside · 12-14-2006, 03:02 PM

I LOVE IT!

(and that's No...)

hope3 · 12-17-2006, 08:54 AM

Oh man, am I so happy I'll have an
answer to "you don't know jack schit", But
WHAT IF THEY ASK ME IF I GOTTA SCHIT?

hope3 · 12-17-2006, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hope3

Oh man, am I so happy I'll have an
answer to "you don't know jack schit", But
WHAT IF THEY ASK ME IF I GOTTA SCHIT?

Well I thought it was funny. :Flush:

Time2Surrender · 12-17-2006, 01:40 PM

happyagain · 12-18-2006, 09:00 PM

hope3....is that gotta or giva!!!?????

hope3 · 12-19-2006, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostnalone95

hope3....is that gotta or giva!!!?????

Giva was in jack schit's family, so I was just wondering
if someone said, hey, whats wrong with you, you gotta schit
or something, oh well just a wierd thought I guess. Bye bye.

12-13-2006, 03:25 PM	#1 (permalink)
Doug Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: S.E. Mich. Posts: 1,442	Who is Jack Schitt? For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt, " you can correct them. Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt

12-13-2006, 03:37 PM	#2 (permalink)
Astro Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family! Posts: 11,833	Doug, you are too much!! Thanks for a badly needed laugh! __________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---WOW-What a ride!"

12-13-2006, 03:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
*cmc* Community Greeter Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: FL Posts: 13,698	__________________

12-13-2006, 09:12 PM	#4 (permalink)
happyagain Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: a happier place than before!!!! Posts: 944	roflmao!!!!! i read it to my dad and he started laughing so hard he was crying...thanx!!!!!!!! __________________ Some days all you can do is smile and wait for some kind soul to come and pull your a$$ out of the bind you've gotten yourself into!

12-14-2006, 03:53 AM	#5 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,172	And I thought MY family was dysfuntional! __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

12-14-2006, 01:14 PM	#6 (permalink)
*MsPINKAcres* Living in a Pinkful Place Join Date: May 2006 Location: Louisiana Posts: 5,818	Hey can I borrow this to give to the next person who says they have traced their geneology back to the 1st century!!!!! "Here's my family history. Thanks, U. Kan Eat Schitt"

12-14-2006, 03:02 PM	#7 (permalink)
TheGirlInside In Recovery Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Upper Midwest Posts: 259	I LOVE IT! (and that's No...) __________________ Kari No Storm Can Shake my innermost calm while to that rock I'm clinging... Since Love is Lord o'er Heaven and Earth, How can I keep from Singing? -Enya (old Quaker hymn)

12-17-2006, 08:54 AM	#8 (permalink)
hope3 Hope3 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Upstate, NY Posts: 2,146	Oh man, am I so happy I'll have an answer to "you don't know jack schit", But WHAT IF THEY ASK ME IF I GOTTA SCHIT?

12-17-2006, 01:40 PM	#10 (permalink)
Time2Surrender Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 7,263 Blog Entries: 7

12-18-2006, 09:00 PM	#11 (permalink)
happyagain Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: a happier place than before!!!! Posts: 944	hope3....is that gotta or giva!!!????? __________________ Some days all you can do is smile and wait for some kind soul to come and pull your a$$ out of the bind you've gotten yourself into!

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