Signs you are too drunk - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

mackie · 11-20-2006, 11:00 PM

Signs that you are too drunk would be...

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

Job interfering with your drinking.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!

Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

You can focus better with one eye closed.

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.

Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you

At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."

Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmmm.

The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...

TheGirlInside · 11-24-2006, 11:33 AM

Too True!!

THE KING · 11-25-2006, 03:01 AM

that was PURE GREATNESS

another sign

you go to the bathroom while haveing a GRAND OLE conversation with yourself (I have been there)

gimmeid · 11-25-2006, 10:37 PM

or...
Ryan, wakes up, shortly after: WTF????????
(Ex)Wife, wakes: Oh BABEEEEE, you dont remember what you DIIID last night?

and...
You wake and check you cell phone to find calls made shortly after midnight, to your boss, mother, and ex. The three LAST people you'd wanna talk to drunk. (muwahahaha)

GoldenGutters · 11-27-2006, 08:27 PM

Once again, your car that was "stolen" last night is parked right in front of the bar.

wolflet · 11-28-2006, 07:25 PM

your DOG is mad at you & you have no idea why

GreenTea · 12-03-2006, 08:41 PM

You were talking with the blonde all night but you wake up next to the brunette...

You KNOW you had nearly a full tank of gas when you got to the bar but now you're down to only a quarter tank...

You can't figure out what all the ATM receipts are about...

You find three phone numbers in your pocket but you don't recognize any of the names...

(This one happened to a co-worker) ... Last seen at the strip joint, you wake up in your motel room with your pants around your ankles and your corporate AMEX on your stomach...

GreenTea · 12-03-2006, 08:43 PM

You realize that the pretty blue and white blinking lights aren't really a UFO afterall...

barb dwyer · 12-06-2006, 04:04 AM

toto ... I don't thinnk we're in Kmart any more ...

11-20-2006, 11:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
mackie Keeper of the Stars Join Date: May 2006 Location: A little left of center Posts: 170	Signs you are too drunk Signs that you are too drunk would be... You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Job interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not! Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem! You can focus better with one eye closed. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner! Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..." Your idea of cutting back is less salt. You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmmm. The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in... __________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mackie "In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back!" (Charlie Brown)

11-24-2006, 11:33 AM	#2 (permalink)
TheGirlInside In Recovery Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Upper Midwest Posts: 259	Too True!! __________________ Kari No Storm Can Shake my innermost calm while to that rock I'm clinging... Since Love is Lord o'er Heaven and Earth, How can I keep from Singing? -Enya (old Quaker hymn)

11-27-2006, 08:27 PM	#5 (permalink)
GoldenGutters less hippo, more rabbit Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Concord, CA Posts: 1,809 Blog Entries: 1	Once again, your car that was "stolen" last night is parked right in front of the bar. __________________ 99% Bonobo, 1% trouble

11-28-2006, 07:25 PM	#6 (permalink)
wolflet fire dancer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: no matter where u go there u are...co Posts: 489	your DOG is mad at you & you have no idea why __________________ how we spend our days is how we spend our lives

12-03-2006, 08:41 PM	#7 (permalink)
GreenTea Illegitimi Non Carborundum Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Old Home Terra Posts: 4,272	You were talking with the blonde all night but you wake up next to the brunette... You KNOW you had nearly a full tank of gas when you got to the bar but now you're down to only a quarter tank... You can't figure out what all the ATM receipts are about... You find three phone numbers in your pocket but you don't recognize any of the names... (This one happened to a co-worker) ... Last seen at the strip joint, you wake up in your motel room with your pants around your ankles and your corporate AMEX on your stomach... __________________ Ego is the root of all evil.

11-25-2006, 03:01 AM	#3 (permalink)
THE KING Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 257	that was PURE GREATNESS another sign you go to the bathroom while haveing a GRAND OLE conversation with yourself (I have been there)

11-25-2006, 10:37 PM	#4 (permalink)
gimmeid AA Curmudgeon Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Arkansas Posts: 88	or... Ryan, wakes up, shortly after: WTF???????? (Ex)Wife, wakes: Oh BABEEEEE, you dont remember what you DIIID last night? and... You wake and check you cell phone to find calls made shortly after midnight, to your boss, mother, and ex. The three LAST people you'd wanna talk to drunk. (muwahahaha)

12-03-2006, 08:43 PM	#8 (permalink)
GreenTea Illegitimi Non Carborundum Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Old Home Terra Posts: 4,272	You realize that the pretty blue and white blinking lights aren't really a UFO afterall... __________________ Ego is the root of all evil.

12-06-2006, 04:04 AM	#9 (permalink)
barb dwyer same planet...different world Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: butte mt Posts: 10,933 Blog Entries: 7	toto ... I don't thinnk we're in Kmart any more ... __________________ Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.

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