WalMart vs. Heaven - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Debbie · 03-15-2003, 09:37 AM

I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers. Literally, here are the similitudes I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices.

Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates
Wal-Mart: Some old geezer named Peter greets you at the automatic doors

Heaven: Eternal
Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours

Heaven: Where old people go when they expire
Wal-Mart: Where old people go when the retire

Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God
Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone

Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God
Wal Mart: Purple-haired obese women shouting for a price check on diapers

Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin
Wal-Mart: Full money refund on no matter what your complaint

Heaven: EDLP = Every Do-gooder lives peacefully
Wal-Mart: EDLP = Every day low prices

Heaven: Sam Walton -- now a resident!
Wal-Mart: Sam's choice cola -- now on sale!

**Ann** · 03-15-2003, 09:46 AM

03-15-2003, 11:54 AM

Those are funny Barb!

Quote:

Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours

Did'ja ever wonder why a place open 24 hours has locks on the doors? :p

Doug

Debbie · 03-15-2003, 12:22 PM

Well to be fair.....the WalMarts around me are only open 7 am to 11 pm except after Thanksgiving then they go 24 hours and then go back to 7 - 11 after New Years......

Now the 7-11 convenience stores are open 24 hours......go figure.......

03-15-2003, 09:37 AM	#1 (permalink)
Debbie I used to work here ;) Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :) Posts: 2,016	WalMart vs. Heaven I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers. Literally, here are the similitudes I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices. Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates Wal-Mart: Some old geezer named Peter greets you at the automatic doors Heaven: Eternal Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours Heaven: Where old people go when they expire Wal-Mart: Where old people go when the retire Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God Wal Mart: Purple-haired obese women shouting for a price check on diapers Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin Wal-Mart: Full money refund on no matter what your complaint Heaven: EDLP = Every Do-gooder lives peacefully Wal-Mart: EDLP = Every day low prices Heaven: Sam Walton -- now a resident! Wal-Mart: Sam's choice cola -- now on sale!

03-15-2003, 09:46 AM	#2 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,172	__________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

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03-15-2003, 12:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
Debbie I used to work here ;) Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :) Posts: 2,016	Well to be fair.....the WalMarts around me are only open 7 am to 11 pm except after Thanksgiving then they go 24 hours and then go back to 7 - 11 after New Years...... Now the 7-11 convenience stores are open 24 hours......go figure.......

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