Police Humor

[Wolfstarr]

Who says the police don't have a sense of humor? The following 15 Police comments were taken off actual Dallas Police car videos and distributed by Monica Smith, Director DPD Public Relations Officer:

#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
#10. "Yes, sir, by all means you can talk to the shift supervisor if you think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you that when you run that stop sign again, I'll give you another ticket."
#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Â Listen Pal, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in horsey doo!"
#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"
#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPIC/NCIC.."
#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

#1 "Excuse me ma'am? You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? Well, you are right, we don't. Now, sign here."

[best]

#1 "Excuse me ma'am? You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? Well, you are right, we don't. Now, sign here."

That is funny *LOL*