Signs you're being stalked by a farm animal - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

margo · 09-18-2006, 10:42 AM

1. Every morning at the bus stop, that same pig is reading the newspaper -- upside down!

2. Whenever you cross the road, so does that damned chicken!

3. That foul smell, and you're not with your beer drinking buddies.

4. Heavy bleating on the other end of the phone.

5. Silhouette of knife-wielding Holstein appears on your shower curtain.

6. Everywhere you go, the bell! the Bell!! THE BELL!!!

7. You find a knit cap and FOUR bloody gloves.

8. You keep hearing , "Oink Oink," and there isn't a See'n'Say toy in sight.

9. After an ugly break-up with Flopsy, you find Glenn Close floating in a pot on your stove.

10. While baking custard pie, you step in cow pie.

11. All 84 Caller ID entries read, "Babe."

12. Note on your doorstep says, "We'll see who's laughing at Thanksgiving this year, Ginsu Boy!"

indigo · 09-18-2006, 11:46 AM

hehehhe!

indie

cwohio · 09-18-2006, 01:22 PM

oh margo - this is hilarious!!!

**Ann** · 09-19-2006, 04:42 AM

Very funny

historyteach · 09-19-2006, 04:45 AM

Shalom!

fraankie · 09-20-2006, 12:19 PM

lool

09-18-2006, 10:42 AM	#1 (permalink)
margo Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia Posts: 1,727	Signs you're being stalked by a farm animal 1. Every morning at the bus stop, that same pig is reading the newspaper -- upside down! 2. Whenever you cross the road, so does that damned chicken! 3. That foul smell, and you're not with your beer drinking buddies. 4. Heavy bleating on the other end of the phone. 5. Silhouette of knife-wielding Holstein appears on your shower curtain. 6. Everywhere you go, the bell! the Bell!! THE BELL!!! 7. You find a knit cap and FOUR bloody gloves. 8. You keep hearing , "Oink Oink," and there isn't a See'n'Say toy in sight. 9. After an ugly break-up with Flopsy, you find Glenn Close floating in a pot on your stove. 10. While baking custard pie, you step in cow pie. 11. All 84 Caller ID entries read, "Babe." 12. Note on your doorstep says, "We'll see who's laughing at Thanksgiving this year, Ginsu Boy!" __________________ Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky. ~Ojibwe saying~

09-18-2006, 11:46 AM	#2 (permalink)
indigo Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,928	hehehhe! indie __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

09-18-2006, 01:22 PM	#3 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	oh margo - this is hilarious!!! __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

09-19-2006, 04:42 AM	#4 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,173	Very funny __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

09-19-2006, 04:45 AM	#5 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 9,303	Shalom! __________________ IMAGINE

09-20-2006, 12:19 PM	#6 (permalink)
fraankie Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: brooklyn, new york Posts: 1,395	lool

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