Need some encouragement...

[margo]

Hi all - been a while since I've been in the non-smoking section. I fell off the wagon at the end of November and am still smoking. That was my second attempt in a year to quit. Both times, about a month or so in, I got knocked out of left field with family stress and caved. Both times it was so much easier than I thought it would be, and I was going along fine, using the patch, but when the cravings hit they were unbearable and I allowed myself to believe the lie that I could smoke "just one". I really want to quit again. My stress level is down some, but I've been going through a pretty bad depression and I'm afraid of trying and failing again. I've never felt so unwell in my life and I know smoking is contributing a lot to that. I was looking through the thread of everyone's quit date and cried thinking that I could be on that list too, smoke free for four months instead of sitting here thinking about trying to quit again. So what I need is some advice - your best tip, your worst moment so far, how you got through it - anything you can tell me that will give me some faith that I can do this too. Thanks.

[bahookie]

Good morning!

Course you can do it. My best tip is distraction.

Last week I had a truly horrendous night, full of conflict and stress and fear. I actually put my clothes on, found money, got in the car and drove to the shop before I realised what I was doing. I sat there for about 10 minutes, decided a smoke wasn't going to change anything and drove around singing at the top of my voice instead.

The gum helps, it's not so passive as a patch, I find. If you're feeling driven to have a smoke, you can have gum instead.

I've tried to change the way I think about smoking too, Teach's 90%habit 10% real addiction helps me sooooo much!

I've also bought myself a new car that I can't afford unless I give up the weed
It's all clean and new and smoke-free and it makes me smile everytime I'm in it. Driving used to be a huge trigger for me, I would chainsmoke in my old banger.

And here it is




Ah, all I need is a name for her. She costs 2/3 of my smokes every month.

Jane
xxx

[historyteach]

(((Margo)))
Please don't kick yourself for faltering. I sincerely believe that every time we slip/relapse it presents us with an opportunity to learn something that will help for our next quit. I've attempted this so many times! Oh, my! Indeed, I was truely afraid to try again!

When I started my quit, on 29 November, I was out of work on a stress leave. Sounds pretty rediculous, doesn't it? But, I figured I was so stressed, a little more stress wouldn't make any difference. Well, I was wrong! LOL! I went a bit nuts, for sure!

But, I was also lucky. RI has a program with free patches, gum, and group counseling. (Here's their website; I used that too, and found it very helpfull: www.trytostop.org.) I used every bit of assistance I could get, including extra counseling from the American Cancer Society. (Please call them -- they'll send you great information on how to quit and stay quit. The number is 1-800-ACS-2345. Here's the website: http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/co...ng_Smoking.asp ) The quit meter helped with incentive. It's a free download at www.silkquit.org . I also hung onto every word from the group counselor, (and shared much of it here). He stressed the behavioral aspect of smoking. And the fact that will power will NOT work.

And therein lies my best tip. Change your behaviors. Smoke when you finish eating? Get up and brush your teeth immediately. Smoke with your coffee in the moring? Drink tea, or at least, switch your seat while you have your coffee. Change everything. Change the furniture in your house around. Drive a different way to work.
See, all these actions make you cognizant of change. Makes you think. And most importantly, makes you think of why things are different. Because YOU want to change.

Another important change is to change your addictive smoking behavior into a positive addiction. I started going to the gym, and I joined the chorus at the temple. Both of these are good because they are dependant upon the lung capacity. If I'm tempted, I have to think if I really want to give up these two things I've come to enjoy. If I slip, I'm going to feel the results immediately. So, these positive addictions help me overcome the negative addiction of smoking. Any arobic activity will do; power walking for 20 minutes a day, three times a week. Just get that heart rate up and sustain it.

Behavioral change. That's the key to quitting for me. Think of smoking like an iceberg. ( I cannot post pics, so look here; Post it if it will help you! http://www.earthfuture.com/stormywea...ceberg%202.jpg ) The tip of the iceberg - the part you can see - is the addiction. Underneath the waters -- the biggest part of the iceberg/ smoking -- is behaviors. We have to address those behaviors if we want to stay quit. Because in times of stress, will power is the first to go if we haven't addressed the behaviors. And it takes about 6 weeks to incorporate a new behavior into our lifestyle. Six weeks to change our lives.

Finally, each time you have a craving, try to discern from where it's coming. Remember the HALT acronym. Hungry, angry, lonely and tired. Those emotions and physical feelings, (and more), can create urges for a smoke. Those urges last only 10 minutes. Distract yourself. Do something different. Drink lots of water to flush your system. And delay for just 10-15 minutes. Call someone if you need to. These are the 4 Ds of quitting, and they work, if you work them.

There's 4 Rs too. Rehearse for different situations. I had to get through the holidays. And many in my family smoke. So, I set up senerios to guide me through the hard times. I continued to remind myself of my reasons for quitting. I have the beginnings of COPD. That's a good reason to quit for sure! And, I refused to give into negative thoughts. I saw it for what it was -- the nicodemon tempting me back. My addiction wanting me to fail.

Rather than type out my worst day, I'll just give you the link. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ead-86899.html
It was very difficult to be honest. But, because of the investment I have made in this quit, I was able to maintain. Oh, and notice, I left, rather than stay over as I had planned. A strategic retreat if you will. To enable me to fight another day. Perspective is everything, isn't it?

Margo, you don't say where you live, otherwise, I'd look for a smoke cessation group for you. But, do ask your state representative what your state is doing with the tobacco settlement money. They should be offering smoke cessation groups. I hope yours is, and that you will invest your time into the opportunity. I honestly found my group very helpful.

Geezzzz, I'm sorry this is so long. But, I hope it helps! Imagine what my kids go through at school!

So, what have you learned from your last attempt at quitting? Apply that knowledge again. Make an investment in your quit, and you can do it. We've hurt ourselves enough with our smoking, haven't we, Margo? So, no more kicking ourselves now. It's time to be positive; to create your new life. And we're here when you're ready!
Be good to yourself!

Shalom!

[Lavender]

Hey (((((Margo)))))
I've quit so many times, I've lost count.
You'll get there and I'm pulling for you.

[OneLady]

We can do it together. I'm on your side. You can do it. We can be unpuff pals. For all the good advice you gave me, I am here for you in support, in any way you need it. This is the toughest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I have never been successful quitting in my life, but this time I am oh so determined. I will do any thing it takes, i want to be nicotine free so bad I can taste it (pun intended). Think how much better our clothes, hair and breath will smell. We will be able to smell things better too, think of all the spring flowers just weeks away. I'm here for you, I need support too!!!

[bikewench]

Margo...

....every cigarette you DON'T have is a victory...

Is tapering off an option if you can't do the turkey thing..???

remember...
you only have to be smoke free for one day...

[historyteach]

Bike always says things in a much more succinct manner than I!

Any thoughts, Margo?
Here's a few links from before that I thought were worthy of calling back up.

Craving a smoke? http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...oke-83730.html
Strong statements: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ent-85098.html
Help, I Slipped: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ked-83732.html
Works every time: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ime-83731.html

Shalom!

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Did this like I did my drinking. I'm not sure what sign it was when, I stopped drinking but, I'm convinced that the bible is right. Ecclesiastes 3:1 I read the Farmer's Almanac
Beginning the 1st of March, I'll give you the new quit date for smoking. I stopped the 29th of Nov. like the Almanac said haven't had the desire since

[nightingale]

Margo -

I quit a few times before I finally had my final quit. It's easy to forget how difficult this addiction is to finally quit once and for all. Don't beat yourself up so hard over it... so you slipped and fell... dust off those knees and reach up to all of the wonderful folks in here that are reaching down to help you back up on your feet.

Just keep doing what they've been telling you: find some good meetings; change some habits; feel (sometimes that's the worst of all); post/call before you puff; etc. and take it an hour at a time, if need be.

We're sending a your way.