The committee in my head... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

historyteach · 02-21-2006, 08:57 PM

Yesterday, I was at my sister's house. I had to go take care of my broken down car and had diner at her house.
Anyway, we were having a few appitizers; a couple of drinks; and man, oh man, did I ever want a cigarette!!!

The committee in my head was going full blast!

I was telling myself it was ok, I could just "have one."

I wa telling myself it would be just a "slip" and not a relapse.
That, with all the stress I'm dealing with, and my car breaking down to boot, why not have "just one." I deserved it, right?

At the same time, I was telling myself that I recognized that talk as the nicodemon talk.
I was recognizing that I did NOT want to smoke.
I knew if I had just one, I would be right back to two packs or more a day.
And telling myself that I wasn't going to smoke, and that I fully recognized that there was this internal conflict going on in my head.

Now, mind you, this was all going on in my head as my sis, myself, my bro in law and my newphew were all talking, chatting, hangin out, having fun.
That committee just wouldn't shut up!

I didn't stay overnight as I had planned. I went home after dinner, and was so glad...But, it was very, very tough. I didn't smoke...for one more 24 hours... :>)

Thanks for listening. The committee sure does alot of talking, but, not too much listening! You know, when I told the group at the smoke cessation counseling tonight what I just told you here, Lonnie looked at me like I was crazy!

Keep the quit and post before you puff!

Shalom!

bahookie · 02-22-2006, 07:04 AM

Good for you!

I get a bit worried about the number of apparently different personalities in my head! From the sneaky to the downright pushy, there's always someone trying to talk me into doing a stupid thing

Well done you for not listening

Jane
xxx

bikewench · 02-22-2006, 07:21 AM

nicodemon...
good one Teach...

and blessings on you being cool with the head committee.
I can relate to really really wanting to smoke... but knowing I won't.

Those amazingly wonderful times where the fag was sublime....
I know now though that that dirty bytch has an underside.. lol
When I weighed them... the nicodemon side of the scales went "thunk"

Blessings on your path Teach....
I can feel you picking your way through...

just for today.

roa · 02-22-2006, 10:47 AM

Way to go, Teach.

That reminds me of the quote......is the noise in my head disturbing you?
Lucky for you you could quite the noise in your head and keep the quit.

Roa

historyteach · 02-23-2006, 05:18 AM

Quote:

...is the noise in my head disturbing you?

OMG! That is sooo funny!!!

But, it's funnier because I totally understand it! LOL!

Thanks, Jane; bike!
Why can't those committee members ever push us to our heights? Seems they are always trying to wear us down. *sigh*
But, I'm working to end this addiction and find a better way for myself. So, for one more day, I will not smoke.
Nais gadol haya po!

Keep the quit and post before you puff!
Shalom!

roa · 02-25-2006, 07:13 AM

Couldn't resist passing this along.......

It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts.

--K. T. Jong

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did....ain't it the truth?

Roa

best · 02-25-2006, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by historyteach

The committee in my head was going full blast!

When the little voices start, all you need do is warn them to shut up.

BE QUIET or I will poke at you again with a Q-tip

They stop when warned *LOL*

historyteach · 02-25-2006, 01:29 PM

Roa,
That is beautiful...thanks for sharing it...

Best...they do???
Oh, is that Q tip a quit tip???

I'm one more day in my quit and feeling pretty good...
Day by day it gets better. Just thrown temporarily by the intensity of the other day. I pray I remain steadfast in my non smoking behaviors. I NEVER want to go through Hell Week again!

Keep the quit and post before you puff.

Shalom!

bikewench · 02-25-2006, 02:51 PM

Quote:

...is the noise in my head disturbing you?

...omg...
I love that.....

02-21-2006, 08:57 PM	#1 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 9,303	The committee in my head... Yesterday, I was at my sister's house. I had to go take care of my broken down car and had diner at her house. Anyway, we were having a few appitizers; a couple of drinks; and man, oh man, did I ever want a cigarette!!! The committee in my head was going full blast! I was telling myself it was ok, I could just "have one." I wa telling myself it would be just a "slip" and not a relapse. That, with all the stress I'm dealing with, and my car breaking down to boot, why not have "just one." I deserved it, right? At the same time, I was telling myself that I recognized that talk as the nicodemon talk. I was recognizing that I did NOT want to smoke. I knew if I had just one, I would be right back to two packs or more a day. And telling myself that I wasn't going to smoke, and that I fully recognized that there was this internal conflict going on in my head. Now, mind you, this was all going on in my head as my sis, myself, my bro in law and my newphew were all talking, chatting, hangin out, having fun. That committee just wouldn't shut up! I didn't stay overnight as I had planned. I went home after dinner, and was so glad...But, it was very, very tough. I didn't smoke...for one more 24 hours... :>) Thanks for listening. The committee sure does alot of talking, but, not too much listening! You know, when I told the group at the smoke cessation counseling tonight what I just told you here, Lonnie looked at me like I was crazy! Keep the quit and post before you puff! Shalom! __________________ IMAGINE

02-25-2006, 01:29 PM	#8 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 9,303	Roa, That is beautiful...thanks for sharing it... Best...they do??? Oh, is that Q tip a quit tip??? I'm one more day in my quit and feeling pretty good... Day by day it gets better. Just thrown temporarily by the intensity of the other day. I pray I remain steadfast in my non smoking behaviors. I NEVER want to go through Hell Week again! Keep the quit and post before you puff. Shalom! __________________ IMAGINE

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

02-22-2006, 07:04 AM	#2 (permalink)
bahookie Binge poster Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 559	Good for you! I get a bit worried about the number of apparently different personalities in my head! From the sneaky to the downright pushy, there's always someone trying to talk me into doing a stupid thing Well done you for not listening Jane xxx

02-22-2006, 07:21 AM	#3 (permalink)
bikewench Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: western canada Posts: 1,441	nicodemon... good one Teach... and blessings on you being cool with the head committee. I can relate to really really wanting to smoke... but knowing I won't. Those amazingly wonderful times where the fag was sublime.... I know now though that that dirty bytch has an underside.. lol When I weighed them... the nicodemon side of the scales went "thunk" Blessings on your path Teach.... I can feel you picking your way through... just for today.

02-22-2006, 10:47 AM	#4 (permalink)
roa Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: somewhere in time Posts: 83	Way to go, Teach. That reminds me of the quote......is the noise in my head disturbing you? Lucky for you you could quite the noise in your head and keep the quit. Roa

02-25-2006, 07:13 AM	#6 (permalink)
roa Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: somewhere in time Posts: 83	Couldn't resist passing this along....... It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts. --K. T. Jong Hope you enjoy it as much as I did....ain't it the truth? Roa

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)