Crash and Burn

[rider]

tomorrow would have been three weeks. i smoked two butts tonight. i bummed them from a friend. sigh...

yes there is stuff going on in my life but there are never any REALLY GOOD excuses to smoke, only rationalizations.

many who don't smoke (ever) don't NEED to smoke when something goes wrong or is stressful. they deal. i smoked.

i don't want to be a smoker. i don't want bad lungs, wrinkles, and a ball and chain. i wish i never took that first puff 35 years ago.

i am feeling weak.

linda

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Don't do it again Tuesday. I won't smoke Tuesday if, you don't ok

[historyteach]

(((Linda)))
You know, right now, we are all wishing that we hadn't picked up years ago.
So, stop beating yourself up!
And read the thread that says, "Help, I Slipped." Especially #7. In it, you will find the distinction between a slip and a relapse. Having two cigs is a slip. It's something that you can learn from.
Like, what was going on at the time? What were you feeling? Thinking?
What can you do differently?

This is an opportunity for you to really grow and benefit from. Do so, and you'll come out of this a winner!

Keep the quit and post before you puff!

Shalom!

[rider]

thanks guys.

capt. i did not smoke today. i'll bet you didn't either!

teach. thanks for hugs. i was unceremoniously dumped by someone i really cared about and i'm not coping with it very well.

linda

[roa]

Just hang in there, Rider.

Roa

[historyteach]

Ahh, yea, that sure does hurt.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this loss. And you know, it's even harder because you are dealing with the loss of another relationship -- one that was even longer than this one, I'll bet. Yea, that loss of the cigarette. I know, after smoking for 36 years, it's the longest relationship I ever had.

So, you know the event which triggered you. I'm certain you know the emotions that went with it. Isn't it funny how we will beat ourselves up; do the worst things to ourselves, when we are already hurting? You know, like, let's dring some battery acid, I'm feeling depressed and anxious...

So, what have you learned from this experience?
Then, go on...A slip is not a relapse -- it's a lesson to be learned.

Keep the quit and post before you puff!

Shalom!

[rider]

well, teach, i learned that my self-esteem needs lots of work!
quitting smoking gave me a boost on that, but it was a tenuous boost at best.

just wasn't feeling good about me, my insecurities, and my bad choices in the romance department.

can't affort to smoke anyway these days. no way i can spend money on cigarettes when the fridge is empty. used to be groceries AND cigarettes. now its groceries OR cigarettes. and as my teenage daughter doesn't smoke, she wouldn't appreciate cigs instead of food!

linda

[historyteach]

Linda;
Don't selll yourself short! You and I BOTH know if you were smoking, you would FIND the money for the cigs and daugher would still eat, even if you lived on coffee, crakers and cigs!
You are not smoking because you've made a choice not to. How cool is that!
And look at how WELL you're doing at it! You should be PROUD of yourself! Heck, I'm so scared of those cigs! If I had one, I'd be right back. I run home when stressed because I'm afraid of being out where I can buy a pack.
Now you made a slip and got RIGHT BACK OFF THE CIGS!! That's WONDERFUL!!!
So, if you are not proud of yourself, well, I am sure as heck am proud of you!!!
Keep the quit and post before you puff!

Shalom!

[rider]

thanks teach. you are such an inspiration. you're right. an "addict" always finds money for their addiction somehow!

anyway. i didn't run out and buy any at least. then i would have devoured the pack. you know, i felt those two butts in my lungs and throat the next morning. coulda sworn i DID smoke a whole pack!