Mmmooooaaaannnnn

[liveweyerd]

Here I am. The place I have tried not to look at and have avoided. A couple of weeks ago, I got brave enough to read the stickies.
I have admitted before that I am an active cigarette addict. What I have not said, is when don't I have a cigarette hanging out of my mouth? When I am sleeping.
I am here today because I have no choice.
My new husband announced last night that today is his quit day.
He is older than I am and has said that he has pains in his lungs and he wants to live, he wants to live our dreams. So today he is cold turkey.
I can't keep smoking around him.
So far today, I haven't quit with him, I just have not smoked around him.
Imagine both of us wigging out and grouchy at the same time???
But this won't work if I keep up the smoking, I will be off serving my addiction and spending less time with him and etc etc etc.
My dad once asked me what it would take for me to quit. I told him I would have to be sedated and put in a straitjacket for a month.
This is scary. And pedagogue has a post in one of the mental health forums about molecular psychiatry that shows that people on my meds find smoking more rewarding.
I am not making any promises today. I am just willing to enter the territory of this forum.
Hoping I will find it influential in getting to the place in time to......I can't even say the word. At this point I can only think in terms of cutting down.
Those of you who have succeeded are my heroes, I just didn't like confronting myself with it.
Thanks for creating this forum and all the info and the sharing.
live

[splendra]

Freedoms price is high but worth it...

[liveweyerd]

thank you, I will use that as a mantra today!