It's just gotta stop

[Dan]

I need help!
Just looking for some esh. Nic is just sapping my strenght.
I don't understand why I cave in so easily to nic cravings.
So go ahead. Get your pointy boots on, 'cause I'm lookin' for a swift kick in the caboose!
Thanks,
DD :banger :banger :banger

[Novemberphoenix]

Hey Dan!

Holy cow! Hang on and breath deeply! Now I've got my pointy boots on - ya ready? Ok now bend over for a swift kick!

"I can't control the direction of the wind, but I can ajust my sails." - Dangerous Dan

Sure makes alot of sense to me! You'll only break your head banging it on the wall like that!

This is all I can come up with on the fly Dan. I will think on it and get back in touch.

Love and support

Novemberphoenix

[Ann]

Oh it's sneaky how those cravings creep up on you. For me, I had to have a plan...something to DO when the urges hit. Grab a book and read for 5 minutes, take a quick walk anywhere and back, go drink a glass of water and sip until it's gone...and every time an urge hits make yourself do one of the things in your plan.

Taking a bath is good if, like me, you don't smoke in the tub.

I carried a little card, that was suggested to me, and it read "Quitting is Hard, Dying is Harder". That kept me focused on how unhealthy smoking is.

And hang out here. Being accountable has saved my bacon more than once.

Hugs
Ann

[eddie z.]

Hey, Daniel!! Sorry it took me so long to get over here. Don't beat yourself up so bad. I'm not. Remember PROGRESS. You are smoking less, right? I've already had 11 today, but that's less than half of what I was smoking, so I'm patting MYSELF on the back. I suggest you do the same. teehee. And I try to smoke even less tomorrow.

Have you tried the gum? It works; it's just hard to use for some people. I started using it for an overseas flight and it got me through just fine, but I haven't used it in a while. Maybe I should take my own advice and get some more. Although it's pretty expensive and I already spent a chunk on these patches.

Hang in there! WE can do this, right?
Love,
Eddie

[Dan]

:banger
I've found a "SmokeEnders" meeting in my town and I'll check it out wednesday night. Yes eddie, I've patched and gummed myself to death over the years. And now that I no longer intoxicate myself any other way, I so desperately want to be free of nicotine. Not to mention the bloody cost of smokes! It's ridiculous. I am powerless over nicotine. First Step.
Other than that, it's a beautiful day.

[eddie z.]

The $$$ is a big motivation to quit smoking now that I'm not working. We were going through a carton every other day or so and buying premium brand cigs.

I'm still wearing the patch and I've only had nine today. Yesterday I didn't do so well. I'm just trying again. I went for 8 hours without any today, although I was napping through about half that time.

How's it going, Daniel?
Love, Eddie

[Dan]

Hangin' eddie. Looking forward to that meeting tomorrow night. Been up since 7 a.m and only two so far. But I'm raging for more. I'm trying every two hours today. So far, it sucks!!!
Later,
DD

[eddie z.]

Daniel,
11 or 12 yesterday...with the patch. Up since 9 and 3 already...with the patch. So you're doing better than I am!!

Listening to some da*n fine punk rock I just got for Christmas! Die Toten Hosen, a German band, doing covers of CLASSIC late '70s English-language punk. UK and US. I just worked out to it. Great!!

Don't know quite what to do with myself. That's one reason I was smoking so much I think. Boredom. Well, not exactly boredom, more like restlessness. Oh, cool, now they're playing the Damned's "Smash It up!" Rockin'! Gotta go pogo!

Love, Eddie

[Dan]

I'm working up a sweat here E.Z! Die Toten Hosen... german for " your toes in pantyhose"...? I've heard of 'em!
DD

[eddie z.]

Literally, German for "dead trousers," but refers to boredom, I think. That's funny. Wasn't I just talking about boredom? But it's cool that you've heard of them. How 'bout the Buzzcocks?

The weather here is bloody awful! I can't muster up the wherewithal to leave the house. It's dark, raining, and chilly. Grrr. I should get on the phone I suppose, but I don't know who to call. By the way, what are you doing at home?

�Eddie

[Dan]

I'm only working part time and weird shifts at that. I still put in some time at my former employer's here and there. If you want to blow some bandwidth and talk real time without picking up the phone, I'm here. I thought your friend was coming over for a movie? 35 minutes to nic time!
DD

[eddie z.]

I'm not good with computers, so I think I'll stick to the message boards. Thanks, though.

My friend came over last night and brought Christmas presents including the Die Toten Hosen CD, and we watched Matchstick Men. Have you seen it? Nicholas Cage is hilarious!

I'm trying not to think about the smoking. That's why I'm talking about other stuff on here. But I'll probably join you at one, to be honest, dammit.

Love, Eddie

[Dan]

Sorry I reminded you eddie! 5 minutes left. I'm pushing it back. Testing, testing, 123... Small steps. Taggin' on an extra 15.
DD

[eddie z.]

Weren't you in chat the other day when I came in and didn't say anything? That's because I couldn't. I don't know why, but I could log in and see what was going on, but it wouldn't let me type anything. In case you were wondering.
�Eddie

[Dan]

My feelings were hurt eddie!!! No, just kidding. It's a weird chat room. I thought that was you. And somehow, I can't imagine you so quiet! Love ya.
DD

[eddie z.]

Yeah, I had to register as "eddiepz." And I was just experiencing technical difficulties. But you should "hear" me in real meetings lately. I've become a real mouse. It's actually a major problem I'm trying to deal with as you know I think. My homegroup has its candlelight meeting tonight, so maybe I'll be able to speak up there. I haven't been to this particular meeting in months because I was working nights. I hope once the lights are out I'll feel more comfortable talking.

[Dan]

Cool! My AA home group meets tuesdays as well. And lately, I've just been a motor mouth at meetings. Funny the cycles we go trough. In my NA group though, I haven't shared in weeks. May be the result of working Step two more closely with my AA Spons. Who knows! At least you'll be getting out of the house. The sun might have even showed up by then. I think it's necessary for us to spend more time inside ourselves once in a while. Luckily, we have eachother to remind us to come out and play though.
DD

[eddie z.]

You have more than one sponsor? More than one homegroup? More than one program? How do you manage that? Or am I misinterpreting?

The sun IS trying to come out, I think. But I'm going to tan at 3 so I'll get my sun, goshdarnit!

[Dan]

I have a sponsor in NA. I have a sponsor in AA. They both help me work one program. My program. And it's working for me so far. Both my home groups know about this because I chose to inform them. I need both fellowships. Both my sponsors had misgivings at first, but all was quickly resolved. A few members still love to take my inventory on that. I smile. Sober.
Happy tanning eddie!

DD

[eddie z.]

I confess to taking your inventory. Forgive me. That's just different from what I've always heard suggested is all. Do you do service work in both fellowships? I think I'd get really confused. But then again, I confuse easily. You have piqued my curiosity because I have considered going to more Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, but I was always told to stick with one program. Do you work Steps with both sponsors? Like I said, just curious. Is SmokeEnders 12-Step also? Or do you know yet? I'm sorry. I guess that's enough questions for now.
�Eddie

[Dan]

I didn't mean you eddie! Not at all. If I thought you were taking my inventory, I would have called you directly on it.
DD

[Dan]

Sorry eddie, I had to go pick up my daughter at school. Your questions are valid ones and I'm only too happy to answer. I do service work inasmuch as I take a turn chairing in both groups, greeting, coffee etc. I put in a few hours a month at our AA intergroup office. That's the extent of SW for me.
I do seek the help of both sponsors in working the twelve steps. My AA sponsor is the main dude, for lack of a better term. But after my Bottom/psych ward/addiction treatment journey, I have found it neccessary to use both fellowships, hence, an NA sponsor. The assignments I do with my NA sponsor are of a more personal nature but still step related. I hope this answers your questions E.Z. I have no idea about SmokeEnders. So much for a nicotine thread eh! You know, I've thought about posting about this and asking for some input and opinions, but I am so afraid to open up a can of worms! And again eddie, I was talking about members at meetings I attend that are somehow tweeked by this. Not you.
Love and hugs E.Z

DD

[eddie z.]

But I sorta was taking your inventory. I was just shocked, I guess. But your explanation makes sense and does answer my questions. I struggle with how to get support for my other mental health issues without detracting from my addiction program. There's a cool 12-Step fellowship for those dually-diagnosed, but they don't meet around here, so I stick with NA.

How many now, Daniel? Are you sticking with the every two hours plan? I'm up to 5 now. I'm starting to worry that this nasty cough I have may not be as smoking-related as I thought, that there may be something else going on, but I can't let that discourage me from quitting. I KNOW the cigs contribute to it. I can taste smoke when I have a coughing fit. It's truly disgusting. I suppose I should bear that in mind before I light up, huh?

[Dan]

Well eddie, if you were, I didn't notice. It's a lot of writing and some days I wonder.... But it's working Today! I'm on a two hour thing today. Top of the clock. Pushed one back to 1:20. I'm forty past 3:20 now and raging like a lunatic. The next one will be the fifth I think. Man this sucks! Sun out yet?

DD

[eddie z.]

Good job!! Sounds like we're about "even." The sun is in and out and it's not so cold out anymore. I noticed when I went to tan. Oops! It just disappeared again and the room went dark. Speaking of things that suck...

Well, I prolly should go to the store now. I'll check back later.
Love, Eddie