Relapse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

underoath · 04-12-2012, 07:06 PM

So I was about 8 months smoke free and... well... I am also a recovering addict of other various drugs, and I happened to be hanging out with some kids who were imbibing in marijuana and alcohol. Typical 19 20 year old kid stuff right... well, being sober I became more and more frustrated and took my drug cravings out on cigarettes. So I smoked. And I smoked some more. And I smoked some more. It's been about a week now and I've been smoking everyday, just a few a day... maybe 3 or 4... or 5... or 6... and I CANNOT stop. I don't know how I quit the first time. It wasn't even a conscious decision... it's like... all of a sudden... I just stopped smoking. Don't ask me how. Anyways, the shame and frustration is there... not as bad as when I relapsed on cocaine but it is still frustrating and disappointing. I'm not physically dependent on them yet but the psychological craving is overwhelming. Feel stressed? Have a cigarette. Crave another drug? Have a cigarette. The funny thing is, nicotine, being a stimulant, does not calm me down in any way. Yea, the first cigarette of the morning is pretty calming... but for the most part cigarettes just wake me up and make me feel even more stressed/anxious, and then I feel stressed about smoking. The sick thing is the first cigarette I smoked was very harsh on my throat and lungs, and I did not enjoy it one bit. Now? I'm a damn nicotine fiend. I think another part of the problem is the various life stresses I am dealing with at the current moment. Hell, better than drinking or snorting blow right? Or smoking weed... arguably... I mean, after all, at those meetings I go to everyone sucks down cigarettes and coffee. Apparently it's better than being drunk all the time. God help me. That is all.

**Dee74** · 04-12-2012, 08:09 PM

You may find some help and pointers here UO

WhyQuit - the Internet's leading cold turkey quit smoking resource

I always found it very hard to lead what I thought of as the 'right' life hanging out with the wrong people man - not saying it's never possible, but it's a lot harder to do, I think

D

Ghostly · 04-12-2012, 10:53 PM

Congrats on the about 8 months! Awesome! Now you need to get back to it. Try not to get too down, make a plan and get back at it.

Also, be careful about thinking that smoking cigs is better than drinking / drugging. I get what ya mean, and don't necessarily disagree...but you are handing yourself an excuse to smoke with that way of thinking. You need to find other ways of dealing with your issues.

Good luck!

warrens · 04-12-2012, 11:12 PM

I am three weeks nicotine free. It is killing me! If I were to have but a couple of puffs, I'd be buying a carton in seconds. This addiction is no joke. Not physically dependent?

I relapsed over 30 years ago. A pack a day since. If I had only been resolute... May you avoid my mistake.

best to you,

warren

MaggieMay276 · 04-13-2012, 01:28 AM

I believe that the key to giving up is to learn to be kind to yourself and believe in yourself. You gave up for 8 months. Be proud of that and realise that you have the potential to do it again.
You are off the other drugs- which is something else to be proud of.
When it comes to being kind to yourself, you do know that poisoning yourself is not kindness. You are still the same special, wonderful person whether you smoke or not. Just give it a few days until you are ready, stop being down on yourself and give it another go. Nobody can ever take away from you the fact that you succeeded for 8 months.

MaggieMay

underoath · 04-13-2012, 06:55 AM

Thank you all for the replies. I am down to 5 and I do not plan on buying more or bumming any off people after I finish this pack. I guess for some reason, I have found cigarettes to be some sort of release... With all the drug cravings and stress/frustration I am currently dealing with (nothing major but still stressful), I seem to unleash all of those pent up feelings on those cigarettes. It's like a minute for me to take a break from life and clear my head. It was never like that in the past, for me cigarettes were really just an an enhancer I grabbed when I was using other drugs. When I quit using other drugs... I really had no desire to smoke anymore. Eventually I just got busy with life and realized that I hadn't smoked in a few days, and it just sort of happened from there. Then I started hanging out with old friends (who aren't really bad users, they are just normal teenagers... cigarette smokers, weekend drinkers and stoners)... I guess it just goes to show that eventually hanging around a crowd like that will get to us addicts... I always craved a cigarette whenever I was around them but I was so proud of my accomplishment and my health (and struggling with severe allergy symptoms) that I did not want to ruin all of that. I had finally reached a point in my life where I was not dependent on ANY drug (except for antihistamines, but it's not the same kind of thing, I don't abuse them or take them for any recreational purposes). It was an awesome type of freedom. Now, it's sort of like I'm using cigarettes as a crutch for coping issues. The strangest thing though, is that after that first cigarette (which was very very harsh on my body) my lungs and throat actually feel 10x better than they did before I started smoking again. I'm not an idiot, obviously I am doing damage to my lungs and throat... but the strange thing is, I feel better than I have in months. Maybe it's just the allergy shots, who knows?

It's strange how the brain works. Back when I used to smoke (when I wasn't using other drugs) I would smoke 3 a day, sometimes only 1, sometimes I'd skip a day. The night I relapsed I smoked 6 in a period of a few hours. Of course this is normal behavior for a heavy smoker, but kind of shocking for me. It's like that first cigarette just re-opened all those neural pathways and sent me back into full blown nicotine addiction (even worse) with the flip of a switch. I guess this can be a lesson to me before I go out and try alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, or various pharmaceuticals I used to enjoy... all it takes is one and then you're back where you left off, or worse...

The first time I quit smoking I had 3 months. Then I picked up some roll your own cigarettes and smoked half of one. Then I smoked another half. I couldn't enjoy it. The shame and disgust made me throw it all away. Now, it's like.... I'm using life issues and drug cravings as a license to smoke, and I feel little remorse about it. Crazy eh? I just hope it never happens with other drugs. I know when I relapsed on coke the shame and disappointment was enough to stop me and ruin any high I hoped to achieve. The same thing happened the first time I relapsed on cigs. Now look at me, I'm smoking again... scary.

mndawnmarie · 04-14-2012, 05:45 AM

Underoath do not give up. I agree that hanging around others that use will set you up to fall down but understand that the worst 'friend' is that cigarette. I quit feb 29 and still struggle with certain times of the day. I am forced to depend on my higher power to get thru now. Smoking was my last crutch so yes it very hard to give up. Going cold turkey because chantix really messed with my head. We Addicts feel sorry for ourselves we struggle for emotional sobriety as much as we do for sobriety from drugs or drink. Quitting smoking just means you will learn how cope without a crutch. That crutch was really a loaded shotgun ready to go off at any time. You can do this one craving at a time. Thank you for posting. It reminded me how powerful these addictions are and how easy it is to fall. And that is why I will always gratefully be a recovering (not recovered) addict.

underoath · 04-14-2012, 12:20 PM

Smoked my last. Don't want to buy more but im just not in the right mindset to quit right now... Those cigarettes filled a void I can't explain. But we will see what happens

underoath · 04-17-2012, 06:48 PM

bought another pack... guess I'm just not in the right mindset to quit yet. part of me doesn't like it but the part that does has gained control. I know it's unhealthy, mentally and physically, but smoking is certainly a coping mechanism at the moment that provides some (even if it's false) comfort. I guess when I want to quit again I know where to find help. And part of me does want to quit, I just don't want it bad enough at the moment.

MaggieMay276 · 04-18-2012, 05:06 AM

It is OK dear friend. You will do it soon. Just don't quit quitting and it will be all good. I really believe in you.

MM

underoath · 04-24-2012, 12:43 PM

got a pack of marlboro reds... the 100s... gonna be serious about quitting again after I finish off this pack...
going to try not to exceed 2 a day (which is easy for me, usually 2 or 3 a day is all I smoke, unless I'm around other smokers). The hard part is the psychological craving. Of course, I know how to deal with this when it comes to other drugs, I've been doing it for a year now, and spent the past 8 months feeling fine without any nicotine. These days, however, after smoking one and feeling stressed that I just smoked, I swear not to smoke any more. Then hours later the psychological craving hits and I'm back lighting up another cig. It's just not worth the stress. All I get out of smoking is a sore throat, irritated lungs and mouth, and a feeling of stress and discontent. Self loathing. Reading smoking websites that show lung cancer and discuss withdrawal symptoms don't help me any either. I think my best bet for quitting will just be what I did before. Get busy with life- focus on other things, forget about it. When I have cravings I know where to find support, if they get bad enough. For some reason though I've built this mental block that makes me think "oh quitting is going to be so hard I don't know if I can do it"... I smoke such a small amount that any withdrawal I experience will be minor and primarily psychological. What am I so afraid of?

MaggieMay276 · 04-24-2012, 10:57 PM

I do think that we are all afraid of the same thing. Failing and then the self-loathing that comes with it.
Hey, Underoath, maybe I am reading you wrong but did you just buy a packet of 100 but are planning on smoking 2 a day? That means that you are already planning to smoke for another 2 months.
Is there something else that you could replace these couple of cigarettes with? Maybe some favourite snack or activity?
I would truly love it if we could find a way to help you to get through giving up. Being so far away, all I can do is pray for you. So... whether you believe in prayer or not, the next time you go to light a cigarette remember that miles away in Sydney, Australia, there is a woman on her knees praying that you will find the strength to not light it. May you find the happiness and satisfaction that comes from finally quitting for good.

underoath · 04-26-2012, 12:08 PM

Haha I was referring to the length of the cigarette, bu at this rate I might be smoking 100 more. I do appreciate your kind words and thoughts/prayers. It really means a lot

fuster · 05-01-2012, 10:30 AM

Smoking kills you. When you consider what happens if you do it, and use the 12 Step Program to stop, staying stopped is not that hard. I smoked for 24 years and stopped and never relapsed. I used materials I got from the American Lung Association and from the American Cancer Society, plus the 12 Step Program, which is my recovery program for my alcohol and drug addiction recovery. Without it I would not be tobacco free for 17 years now.

underoath · 05-21-2012, 08:09 PM

everything kills you.. but I want to quit now... the only problem is I have a job and everyone smokes. A cigarette is the only thing I look forward to during my breaks..... I don't know how to replace it... it seems like the days would be so long without cigarettes. I'm tired of being dependent on a substance to get me through the day. I'm tired of destroying my throat, mouth, lungs, and cardiovascular system. I just don't know how to NOT smoke now... I can't imagine a life without it. I don't know how I would make it through the work day.

FrenchPink · 05-22-2012, 04:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by underoath

everything kills you.. but I want to quit now... the only problem is I have a job and everyone smokes. A cigarette is the only thing I look forward to during my breaks..... I don't know how to replace it... it seems like the days would be so long without cigarettes. I'm tired of being dependent on a substance to get me through the day. I'm tired of destroying my throat, mouth, lungs, and cardiovascular system. I just don't know how to NOT smoke now... I can't imagine a life without it. I don't know how I would make it through the work day.

Hey, underoath. Would you like a quit-smoking buddy who checks in with you daily? I could sure use the steady support myself. If you'd like to partner up, my current posts are in the "Made it past day 1..." thread in this forum. Getting ready to start up my Day 1 of no smoking and ready to do some additional research for motivation.

Hope to see you there. Have a super Tuesday.

underoath · 05-23-2012, 03:00 PM

I would if I actually could bring myself to quit. I know I said I wanna quit but now I don't... I mean I do but I don't... Idk how I did it the first time... I just stopped... It was wierd... I guess it just feels like "cigarrettes are all I got left". But I really wish you well... Seems like if you can make it past day 3 it gets easier... The trick seems to be having support and not ever smoking "just one"... Im still not entirely sure what went off in my brain that got me hooked again... But its like one minute I wanna quit the next minute I want a cig... Damn. Just like any other addiction I suppose

FrenchPink · 05-23-2012, 05:12 PM

Hey, underoath. I'll keep it as an open invitation if you'd ever like to partner up. I wish you the best, too. Drop by anywhere in this smoking forum when you can and we'll catch up.

underoath · 05-26-2012, 10:13 PM

Thanks, it really means a lot. I went till 4 pm today without smoking. I just couldn't handle it... I felt tired and irritable. My lungs and throat felt horrible. I literally felt sick. I have also noticed a significant difference in my breathing... when I play tennis or do other things that involve running, I find myself getting out of breath fairly quick. I just feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place right now... I don't know if I could handle feeling like that at work...

SpikyMis · 06-13-2012, 05:36 AM

You are doing right to quit smoking for over 8 months. It is a real progress. If you could do it earlier you can do it now without shadow of doubt. It is really important to have a person who will be always with you in difficult time and support you. I know it is really hard to give up smoking when you live though a difficult time of your life. Anyway you are not alone and there are many people who could overcome it too. You can do it!!!

04-12-2012, 07:06 PM	#1 (permalink)
underoath polyaddicted cocanut Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: South Carolina Posts: 706	Relapse So I was about 8 months smoke free and... well... I am also a recovering addict of other various drugs, and I happened to be hanging out with some kids who were imbibing in marijuana and alcohol. Typical 19 20 year old kid stuff right... well, being sober I became more and more frustrated and took my drug cravings out on cigarettes. So I smoked. And I smoked some more. And I smoked some more. It's been about a week now and I've been smoking everyday, just a few a day... maybe 3 or 4... or 5... or 6... and I CANNOT stop. I don't know how I quit the first time. It wasn't even a conscious decision... it's like... all of a sudden... I just stopped smoking. Don't ask me how. Anyways, the shame and frustration is there... not as bad as when I relapsed on cocaine but it is still frustrating and disappointing. I'm not physically dependent on them yet but the psychological craving is overwhelming. Feel stressed? Have a cigarette. Crave another drug? Have a cigarette. The funny thing is, nicotine, being a stimulant, does not calm me down in any way. Yea, the first cigarette of the morning is pretty calming... but for the most part cigarettes just wake me up and make me feel even more stressed/anxious, and then I feel stressed about smoking. The sick thing is the first cigarette I smoked was very harsh on my throat and lungs, and I did not enjoy it one bit. Now? I'm a damn nicotine fiend. I think another part of the problem is the various life stresses I am dealing with at the current moment. Hell, better than drinking or snorting blow right? Or smoking weed... arguably... I mean, after all, at those meetings I go to everyone sucks down cigarettes and coffee. Apparently it's better than being drunk all the time. God help me. That is all. __________________ "That's the nature of the beast. If we have nothing left but death, it's a clear but subtle threat. 'The south is where I lay my sword and the stage is where my heart will rest'"

04-12-2012, 08:09 PM	#2 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 65,269	You may find some help and pointers here UO WhyQuit - the Internet's leading cold turkey quit smoking resource I always found it very hard to lead what I thought of as the 'right' life hanging out with the wrong people man - not saying it's never possible, but it's a lot harder to do, I think D __________________

04-12-2012, 10:53 PM	#3 (permalink)
Ghostly Groovy Dancer Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: The States Posts: 3,892	Congrats on the about 8 months! Awesome! Now you need to get back to it. Try not to get too down, make a plan and get back at it. Also, be careful about thinking that smoking cigs is better than drinking / drugging. I get what ya mean, and don't necessarily disagree...but you are handing yourself an excuse to smoke with that way of thinking. You need to find other ways of dealing with your issues. Good luck! __________________ Won't you look down upon me Jesus? You've got to help me make a stand. You've just got to see me through another day. My body's aching and my time is at hand, I won't make it any other way. - James Taylor

04-12-2012, 11:12 PM	#4 (permalink)
warrens Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: 49 degrees north Posts: 906	I am three weeks nicotine free. It is killing me! If I were to have but a couple of puffs, I'd be buying a carton in seconds. This addiction is no joke. Not physically dependent? I relapsed over 30 years ago. A pack a day since. If I had only been resolute... May you avoid my mistake. best to you, warren __________________ The thrill is gone The thrill is gone away... B.B. King

04-13-2012, 06:55 AM	#6 (permalink)
underoath polyaddicted cocanut Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: South Carolina Posts: 706	Thank you all for the replies. I am down to 5 and I do not plan on buying more or bumming any off people after I finish this pack. I guess for some reason, I have found cigarettes to be some sort of release... With all the drug cravings and stress/frustration I am currently dealing with (nothing major but still stressful), I seem to unleash all of those pent up feelings on those cigarettes. It's like a minute for me to take a break from life and clear my head. It was never like that in the past, for me cigarettes were really just an an enhancer I grabbed when I was using other drugs. When I quit using other drugs... I really had no desire to smoke anymore. Eventually I just got busy with life and realized that I hadn't smoked in a few days, and it just sort of happened from there. Then I started hanging out with old friends (who aren't really bad users, they are just normal teenagers... cigarette smokers, weekend drinkers and stoners)... I guess it just goes to show that eventually hanging around a crowd like that will get to us addicts... I always craved a cigarette whenever I was around them but I was so proud of my accomplishment and my health (and struggling with severe allergy symptoms) that I did not want to ruin all of that. I had finally reached a point in my life where I was not dependent on ANY drug (except for antihistamines, but it's not the same kind of thing, I don't abuse them or take them for any recreational purposes). It was an awesome type of freedom. Now, it's sort of like I'm using cigarettes as a crutch for coping issues. The strangest thing though, is that after that first cigarette (which was very very harsh on my body) my lungs and throat actually feel 10x better than they did before I started smoking again. I'm not an idiot, obviously I am doing damage to my lungs and throat... but the strange thing is, I feel better than I have in months. Maybe it's just the allergy shots, who knows? It's strange how the brain works. Back when I used to smoke (when I wasn't using other drugs) I would smoke 3 a day, sometimes only 1, sometimes I'd skip a day. The night I relapsed I smoked 6 in a period of a few hours. Of course this is normal behavior for a heavy smoker, but kind of shocking for me. It's like that first cigarette just re-opened all those neural pathways and sent me back into full blown nicotine addiction (even worse) with the flip of a switch. I guess this can be a lesson to me before I go out and try alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, or various pharmaceuticals I used to enjoy... all it takes is one and then you're back where you left off, or worse... The first time I quit smoking I had 3 months. Then I picked up some roll your own cigarettes and smoked half of one. Then I smoked another half. I couldn't enjoy it. The shame and disgust made me throw it all away. Now, it's like.... I'm using life issues and drug cravings as a license to smoke, and I feel little remorse about it. Crazy eh? I just hope it never happens with other drugs. I know when I relapsed on coke the shame and disappointment was enough to stop me and ruin any high I hoped to achieve. The same thing happened the first time I relapsed on cigs. Now look at me, I'm smoking again... scary. __________________ "That's the nature of the beast. If we have nothing left but death, it's a clear but subtle threat. 'The south is where I lay my sword and the stage is where my heart will rest'"

04-13-2012, 01:28 AM	#5 (permalink)
MaggieMay276 Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 52	I believe that the key to giving up is to learn to be kind to yourself and believe in yourself. You gave up for 8 months. Be proud of that and realise that you have the potential to do it again. You are off the other drugs- which is something else to be proud of. When it comes to being kind to yourself, you do know that poisoning yourself is not kindness. You are still the same special, wonderful person whether you smoke or not. Just give it a few days until you are ready, stop being down on yourself and give it another go. Nobody can ever take away from you the fact that you succeeded for 8 months. MaggieMay

04-14-2012, 05:45 AM	#7 (permalink)
mndawnmarie Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: MN Posts: 18	Underoath do not give up. I agree that hanging around others that use will set you up to fall down but understand that the worst 'friend' is that cigarette. I quit feb 29 and still struggle with certain times of the day. I am forced to depend on my higher power to get thru now. Smoking was my last crutch so yes it very hard to give up. Going cold turkey because chantix really messed with my head. We Addicts feel sorry for ourselves we struggle for emotional sobriety as much as we do for sobriety from drugs or drink. Quitting smoking just means you will learn how cope without a crutch. That crutch was really a loaded shotgun ready to go off at any time. You can do this one craving at a time. Thank you for posting. It reminded me how powerful these addictions are and how easy it is to fall. And that is why I will always gratefully be a recovering (not recovered) addict.

04-14-2012, 12:20 PM	#8 (permalink)
underoath polyaddicted cocanut Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: South Carolina Posts: 706	Smoked my last. Don't want to buy more but im just not in the right mindset to quit right now... Those cigarettes filled a void I can't explain. But we will see what happens __________________ "That's the nature of the beast. If we have nothing left but death, it's a clear but subtle threat. 'The south is where I lay my sword and the stage is where my heart will rest'"

04-17-2012, 06:48 PM	#9 (permalink)
underoath polyaddicted cocanut Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: South Carolina Posts: 706	bought another pack... guess I'm just not in the right mindset to quit yet. part of me doesn't like it but the part that does has gained control. I know it's unhealthy, mentally and physically, but smoking is certainly a coping mechanism at the moment that provides some (even if it's false) comfort. I guess when I want to quit again I know where to find help. And part of me does want to quit, I just don't want it bad enough at the moment. __________________ "That's the nature of the beast. If we have nothing left but death, it's a clear but subtle threat. 'The south is where I lay my sword and the stage is where my heart will rest'"

04-18-2012, 05:06 AM	#10 (permalink)
MaggieMay276 Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 52	It is OK dear friend. You will do it soon. Just don't quit quitting and it will be all good. I really believe in you. MM

04-24-2012, 12:43 PM	#11 (permalink)
underoath polyaddicted cocanut Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: South Carolina Posts: 706	got a pack of marlboro reds... the 100s... gonna be serious about quitting again after I finish off this pack... going to try not to exceed 2 a day (which is easy for me, usually 2 or 3 a day is all I smoke, unless I'm around other smokers). The hard part is the psychological craving. Of course, I know how to deal with this when it comes to other drugs, I've been doing it for a year now, and spent the past 8 months feeling fine without any nicotine. These days, however, after smoking one and feeling stressed that I just smoked, I swear not to smoke any more. Then hours later the psychological craving hits and I'm back lighting up another cig. It's just not worth the stress. All I get out of smoking is a sore throat, irritated lungs and mouth, and a feeling of stress and discontent. Self loathing. Reading smoking websites that show lung cancer and discuss withdrawal symptoms don't help me any either. I think my best bet for quitting will just be what I did before. Get busy with life- focus on other things, forget about it. When I have cravings I know where to find support, if they get bad enough. For some reason though I've built this mental block that makes me think "oh quitting is going to be so hard I don't know if I can do it"... I smoke such a small amount that any withdrawal I experience will be minor and primarily psychological. What am I so afraid of? __________________ "That's the nature of the beast. If we have nothing left but death, it's a clear but subtle threat. 'The south is where I lay my sword and the stage is where my heart will rest'"

04-24-2012, 10:57 PM	#12 (permalink)
MaggieMay276 Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 52	I do think that we are all afraid of the same thing. Failing and then the self-loathing that comes with it. Hey, Underoath, maybe I am reading you wrong but did you just buy a packet of 100 but are planning on smoking 2 a day? That means that you are already planning to smoke for another 2 months. Is there something else that you could replace these couple of cigarettes with? Maybe some favourite snack or activity? I would truly love it if we could find a way to help you to get through giving up. Being so far away, all I can do is pray for you. So... whether you believe in prayer or not, the next time you go to light a cigarette remember that miles away in Sydney, Australia, there is a woman on her knees praying that you will find the strength to not light it. May you find the happiness and satisfaction that comes from finally quitting for good.

04-26-2012, 12:08 PM	#13 (permalink)
underoath polyaddicted cocanut Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: South Carolina Posts: 706	Haha I was referring to the length of the cigarette, bu at this rate I might be smoking 100 more. I do appreciate your kind words and thoughts/prayers. It really means a lot __________________ "That's the nature of the beast. If we have nothing left but death, it's a clear but subtle threat. 'The south is where I lay my sword and the stage is where my heart will rest'"

05-01-2012, 10:30 AM	#14 (permalink)
fuster Late stage optimist Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Auburn, WA Posts: 293	Smoking kills you. When you consider what happens if you do it, and use the 12 Step Program to stop, staying stopped is not that hard. I smoked for 24 years and stopped and never relapsed. I used materials I got from the American Lung Association and from the American Cancer Society, plus the 12 Step Program, which is my recovery program for my alcohol and drug addiction recovery. Without it I would not be tobacco free for 17 years now.

05-21-2012, 08:09 PM	#15 (permalink)
underoath polyaddicted cocanut Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: South Carolina Posts: 706	everything kills you.. but I want to quit now... the only problem is I have a job and everyone smokes. A cigarette is the only thing I look forward to during my breaks..... I don't know how to replace it... it seems like the days would be so long without cigarettes. I'm tired of being dependent on a substance to get me through the day. I'm tired of destroying my throat, mouth, lungs, and cardiovascular system. I just don't know how to NOT smoke now... I can't imagine a life without it. I don't know how I would make it through the work day. __________________ "That's the nature of the beast. If we have nothing left but death, it's a clear but subtle threat. 'The south is where I lay my sword and the stage is where my heart will rest'"

05-23-2012, 03:00 PM	#17 (permalink)
underoath polyaddicted cocanut Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: South Carolina Posts: 706	I would if I actually could bring myself to quit. I know I said I wanna quit but now I don't... I mean I do but I don't... Idk how I did it the first time... I just stopped... It was wierd... I guess it just feels like "cigarrettes are all I got left". But I really wish you well... Seems like if you can make it past day 3 it gets easier... The trick seems to be having support and not ever smoking "just one"... Im still not entirely sure what went off in my brain that got me hooked again... But its like one minute I wanna quit the next minute I want a cig... Damn. Just like any other addiction I suppose __________________ "That's the nature of the beast. If we have nothing left but death, it's a clear but subtle threat. 'The south is where I lay my sword and the stage is where my heart will rest'"

05-23-2012, 05:12 PM	#18 (permalink)
FrenchPink Love an elephant. Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 1,009	Hey, underoath. I'll keep it as an open invitation if you'd ever like to partner up. I wish you the best, too. Drop by anywhere in this smoking forum when you can and we'll catch up. __________________ Sober since May 13, 2012. Non-smoker since February 17, 2013.

05-26-2012, 10:13 PM	#19 (permalink)
underoath polyaddicted cocanut Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: South Carolina Posts: 706	Thanks, it really means a lot. I went till 4 pm today without smoking. I just couldn't handle it... I felt tired and irritable. My lungs and throat felt horrible. I literally felt sick. I have also noticed a significant difference in my breathing... when I play tennis or do other things that involve running, I find myself getting out of breath fairly quick. I just feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place right now... I don't know if I could handle feeling like that at work... __________________ "That's the nature of the beast. If we have nothing left but death, it's a clear but subtle threat. 'The south is where I lay my sword and the stage is where my heart will rest'"

06-13-2012, 05:36 AM	#20 (permalink)
SpikyMis Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 10	You are doing right to quit smoking for over 8 months. It is a real progress. If you could do it earlier you can do it now without shadow of doubt. It is really important to have a person who will be always with you in difficult time and support you. I know it is really hard to give up smoking when you live though a difficult time of your life. Anyway you are not alone and there are many people who could overcome it too. You can do it!!!

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