Please help me stay strong

[RedRuby]

I quit about two months ago because I was dating a non-smoker. I really liked him and quit largely in part because of him.
I've been smoke free for two months, but I just broke up with him today.
I really want to smoke now. Break ups suck, but he was a jerk and didn't respect me. I would be smoking up a storm right now if I hadn't quit.
I want to stay quit, I really do. I like it. I like my new life, my new health. I don't want to give in.
Please remind of why I did this...besides appeasing someone who didn't deserve it.

[RedRuby]

I slipped up last night. I was out drinking, and I smoked a little.
I didn't like it at all. It tasted gross and it burned and it was stinky. I could feel it singing my lungs.
I'm glad I quit. I don't want to smoke anymore. Trying it a little bit last night just solidified that.

[Dime]

Hi RedRuby,

Well you only smoked for a little and your body remembers the clean air days you have already enjoyed since quitting.

Since you are young you have all the more reason in the world to want to stay away from cigarettes. I am an alcoholic and at my local AA I am seeing people ill and dying from cigarettes. Nobody seems to make a big deal out of cigarettes being the cause like they would if it was alcohol. The real eye opener for me is that everybody that dies from cigarettes is not old. It is shocking to see pictures of young people taken by cigs but it does happen. I think seeing those pictures left a lasting impression in my mind that squashes the cravings from even starting up now.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing RR. You can do this!!

[RedRuby]

I am happy that I wasn't triggered back into smoking by slipping up that night. I thought that it would feel good and be like old times, but it felt nasty and it hurt. I even held it funny, like a first-timer or something, lol. It was kind of funny.
I thought that one puff would turn me back into a regular smoker, but maybe I am for real a non-smoker now. Maybe I've actually transformed myself into something good, something better, healthier, smoke-free.
I am actually pleased that I passed my own test, overcame my own mistake. I think it made me stronger.

[Dime]

Excellent RedRuby!!!!!!
It is so good that you have returned to the quit and not let a bump side track you. Had you thought about buying yourself a gift with some of the cash you are saving on cigarettes. I picked up an inexpensive old piece of electronics that I had wanted for years just because it is cool. Now every time I see it I am reminded of how nice it is not to smoke anymore.
Glad you are here RR!!

[facing2day]

Thanks for posting and being so honest about what you are going through. I think that helps us that are still struggling.

In your first post you said

Please remind of why I did this...besides appeasing someone who didn't deserve it.

YOU DID IT FOR YOU! You will be so much healthier and happier! You deserve it I'm sure. Be thankful the creep passed through and helped you quit. At least 1 good thing came out of it!


Another note, I don't think smokers are 'bad' or 'good'...it's a nasty habit an addiction like any else and I don't think being 'good' or 'bad' plays into it. JMO.
you stated

Maybe I've actually transformed myself into something good,

I think your awesome for sharing and quitting! All the best for you!

[RedRuby]

Thanks for the support.

In the past two weeks, since I first slipped up smoking, I went to visit my family and they all smoke. I ended up smoking just while drinking, which I thought "ok, just while drinking" but then I smoked some while not drinking, during the day. And I know that's a bad sign.
So I'm back home, back on my Chantix. I've been letting myself smoke when at the bars with my friends that smoke, but it's only 1 or 2.
The harsh, burning sensation of my first cig after two months is gone...when I do smoke, it's like I always did...just something I did.
But I'm not buying backs, not smoking on days I don't go out (which is most days), and not bumming cigarettes during the day.
I'll get back on track...