Taking the plunge

[JigOvLife]

So yesterday I found myself reading the countdown to quitting thread, then I looked at day 2 but didn't read it, thinking I'll save that for tomorrow.

Have I made a decision?

I believe so, 21 days gives me time to mentally prepare, I was wary about running 2 quits consecutively,however it makes perfect sense. I abhor my nicotine addiction probably more than my drinking. It doesn't cause the chaos booze does, just ticks away quietly and pointlessly, sapping my health,finances and (ravishing ) good looks. Booze and cigs are bedfellows. I think the energy I'm feeling through this unique period of sobriety should be given the chance to really change my life.

I am heavily addicted though, not so much the amount, which has jumped from 20ish to 35ish this last mth, understandable, really with being sober and needing SOMETHING!!! but it's the longevity, I've smoked from being 12, had a habit since then, amongst adolescents addiction has a bizarre naive kudos.

I'm gonna check in and let you know how it's going. August the 20th I guess is my date. Thanks cess101 for providing the impetus

See you soon

[JigOvLife]

Just read day 3. 'Start to taper'...yikes. Well it's 9.40p.m so I've slightly messed that one. But in the spirit of the thing, I've 5 + 1/2 left and intend on going to bed at 3.00 a.m, pretty much 1 ciggy an hr as long as I resist the 24 hr petrol station 20 secs from the front door.
Deep breath.(well as deep as I can manage)
Tomorrow I'll wait 2 hrs till I have one and just drink juice till then. No coffee till then either.
Ta Ta

[JigOvLife]

Well that was an exercise in self delusion. Managed 1/2 hr till my first cigarette,which is normally lit within 3 minutes of waking. (The first cup of coffee/tea is joined by the second 15 mins into the day). Those 5 1/2 I had last night were gone an hour early which isn't too bad.
I've read todays advice that says for folk over 10 a day tapering might be beneficial but every other attempt I've made I've set a date and just stopped then. Tapering seems to frustrate my 'gimme,gimme' head, I'm not practised in self denial and just tick away the seconds.
Gonna more realistically try 3/4 hr tomorrow till first ciggy and change my routine to having a shower and tarting myself up before it.

[Time2Surrender]

Good luck with that. Maybe I will take the plunge myself one day.

[katiedid79]

Tapering can be a pain in the rear. It can work for some but not others espessially if you have not worked on having any self control. It took me awhile to find the right self control. One thing that did help me and I have practiced at it over and over is everytime I felt the urge to have a smoke I thought to my self , why do I want to quit? And just kept putting postive thoughts in my head of the good reasons to quit and remeber that the withdrwaled and cravings will not last forever.When I was tapering somtimes this worked and somtimes I just had to have a smoke. Anyways I was cutting back and practicing at the same time, made it easier for me to quit.You just have to find what works with you and the way you think. Its easy to get caught up in the reasons why I disearve a cig. But that is just your brains way of getting what it wants... What it has been used to, Are you smarter then your brain/thoughts? Then I would chew on a peice of gum, eat somthing , for some reason when I eat it seems to replace that urge to smoke. I guess cause it works on the same centers of the brain. The pleasure center... Just keep trying, the less cigs you smoke the better. And take it easy on your self. Just becuase you finished a pack before your inteded deadling , so what the main things is you set a deadline and smoked less cigerattes. Good luck!

[JigOvLife]

Thanks Mikey and Katie.
Eating's a really hard one for me, the most satisfying cigarettes are after a meal, I've often half heartedly snacked just for that cigarette after that tastes so good. Again managed 20 mins this morning, very loud cravy voice grating "smoke...smoke" into my brain, straight from rising, becoming more aware of it though.

Read day 5. I fully intend on using Nicotine patches,they're available on the national health service for a fraction of the usual price. I find the gum has an acidic, 'back of the throat' heartburny aftertaste. And those pen things just ain't stylish enough yet, someone should market a wooden one that'd be cool, like an old codger with a pipe.

Having a 3 day vacation from tomorrow,open air and hiking, so gonna read 6,7 and 8 tomorrow morning
Ciao

[JigOvLife]

Crikey, smoking cues.

I'd say 90% of my ciggies are unconscious. Don't notice I've lit 'em,smoked 'em, stubbed 'em out. These cues are very deeply, synaptically carved. The computer seems to increase my intake twofold. Just come back from a hiking trip and managed happily on 20 a day, I was so chuffed with myself, but here I am, tabbing and typing away again.

I know the hardest situations will be social, those cigarettes are like a shield that I think are related to those teenage years when you do most of your posing with a lit cig. I'll feel naked without one but don't wish any more social isolation than I'm already handling with my other main demon.

13 days to D-Day, getting nervous and I must find gainful employment in this time.

[JigOvLife]

Well just read about keeping a journal which is something in my limited way I seem to have started, though I imagine when I quit I'll start keeping it to myself (There'll be a lot of cussing).

Gonna have a think about the advantage/disadvantage thing. Though I'm now convinced that a dual quit is the best idea, ciggies are my only source of reward circuitry pleasure now and man, am I caning them!

I don't smoke like other folk, I was very surprised to read earlier in the countdown that 10 drags from a cigarette is probably the average. I reckon though I've not yet counted that I average 30 and during the last third, most intakes of breath are via the filter.

I just wanna share this last snippet from addiction before I return to Youtube. Since I started smoking (12 yrs old) I've had no hesitation in rolling up buttends when times are hard or the shops are shut and it took a few years to discover roll up filters.
I once spent a week, stranded in Newcastle where I roamed the shopping centre's in the evening finding other peoples stub outs to roll and smoke.

I hate this shameful compulsion and look forward to reviewing this post, breathing clean air, with the disgust it deserves.

[JigOvLife]

Have decided that tapering cigs is the same torture as controlled drinking. Sorry folks gonna stop dead on the twentieth but I can't cut down.

Coffee's out though. I've made a conscious decision to drink only unsugared tea in it's variations. Stuck with that quite happily for 5 days now. This will hopefully aid my will.

Haven't got a local doctor yet. Which is a bit daft 'cos of the fractional cost of patches if they're prescribed.

Nerves definitely setting in. I've never smoked as much as I am currently.

[Saxony]

Hey Jig, I think your right about the tapering. I read somewhere that all you are really doing is putting yourself in a constant state of never ending withdrawal until you finally quit. Your body isn't getting the nicoteen it is used to so it goes into withdrawal but because you are still getting some nic, withdrawal never ends.

From my experience the thinking about and run up to my quit day was actually alot worse than actually quitting. Once I quit it took alot of the worrying and stress about it away, the only thing I have to do now is not smoke. Simple huh lol

Sax
D4

[chippa]

Jig sounds like you're a pretty thoughtful hombre! I'll tell you what I did when I quit was I logged on and posted posted posted my way through all my cravings- it was on a different site that got shut down, but I wrote about everything- the cravings, the rewards, how aggravated I got at everyone and everything, my exercise regimen and most of all I wrote about food-

I think you'll benefit from it too, and you write well, I bet it would be entertaining to read-

hang in there, you can do it- looks like you're getting your head straight and prepared for it-

I did it on my ninety seventh try and I'm on my eighth month smoke free

smoking kills you, quitting saves you

[JigOvLife]

Okay, tomorrow's my last smoking day, patches would be a help but I've reappraised the situation and have decided on cold turkey if the 3-5 day physical withdrawal holds true. I want this habit smited as soon as possible.
I'm feeling pretty sh1tty and lost currently, perhaps not the best frame of mind to go into this but countering that I feel I need the sense of rightness and achievement quitting smoking will provide. The honeymoon's over with being on the wagon but with having posted on this thread for over 2 weeks, I can't go back now.
Can't think of owt else to write, feeling a tad, 'whatever'.

[Saxony]

Hey Jig, as you know I went cold turkey, for pretty much the reasons you have said, I just wanted it over and done with and while yes, the first 3 days or so aren't wonderful they were manageable. I have never used the patch or anything else though so honestly I don't know if it's harder or not.

I do think you have to really want to quit though so if your not sure it might make it harder. If your not sure deep down you could allways go watch some gross stop smoking vid's on youtube, that normally reminds me why I want to quit

Good luck whatever you decide to do

Sax

[comfortablynumb]

I tried tapering and basically it prolonged my agony
I waited ALL day for the ~alloted~ times I could smoke
SO..........CT is what I chose....knew I had only to NOT smoke on a daily basis and gave myself permission to do whatever I wanted as long as it was legal.
Remember it's SMOKING, not quitting, that causes the initial symptoms of irritability and all those other things............but the silver lining is that these TEMPORARY things PASS.........if you just don't smoke....

Now, I'm coming up on 4 yrs...in March and I remember less and less the difficulties and bathe in my new freedom every day...........The sense of calm is indescribable ----it's like that AHHHHHHHHHHH feeling I used to get after taking my fist hit, when my nicotine level had dropped too low.......
I used (and still do) quitnet.com to post and encourage others...
I downloaded a counter........that keeps track of all my days smoke free..how much $$$$$$$$$$$$$ I've saved and how many ciggies I DID NOT SMOKE..it is quite the visual reinforcement and people at that site have great tips and you can vent away and NO ONE gets offended.....

Freedom from tobacco is just sooooooooooo worth the initial effort it takes to get there..........honestly I most never think about smoking unless like here or at quitnet, it IS the TOPIC>>>
Like Nike says..........."JUST DO IT!"

good luck...we're here for ya!!

CN

1252 days, 21 hours, 43 minutes and 20 seconds smoke free.

25058 cigarettes not smoked.

$5,012.00 and 6 months, 11 days, 9 hours of your life saved.

Your quit date: 3/16/2005 9:30:00 PM

[JigOvLife]

DAY 1
Woke at 8.30, remembered it was quitting day. Didn't make a cuppa, picked up a book.
Wierd really, unlike attempting to cut back, when every fibre is screeching for that first ciggy, instead I felt quite detached and analytical about the whole thing, noticing the increasing jerkiness to my movements and the huffy puffy noises I was emitting.

Had a full breakfast,I was ready for the post meal gasping and went for a walk. all was well till 11ish when I got quite into my book and reached instinctively for a smoke and got hit by the full force of 'NEED', my vision went spangly, and I became aware of this gaping hole in my very being that only 1 thing could fill.

Nothing for it but to have a nap

It's 5.00 P.M. I'm getting about 8 pangs an hour now. A couple of which are humdingers that have me speaking in tongues and looking for weapons.
It's not easy but not as hard as I'd built it up to be, (however I don't currently have any responsibilities like other folk. Couldn't be civil to anyone today.)

It's still a novelty, still curious about my own mind and body in withdrawal, that'll wear thin soon, it does with drink. Then the ranting'll start.
Not even an hour at a time at the moment.

Hmmm, time for more unconsciousness.

[chippa]

Jig WTG!!!!

My thought process early on was a little like yours- to EXPERIENCE the weird feelings of withdrawal like I did when I was young and experimenting with different mind altering things

keep posting and reward yourself

hey the English really don't have tea every day do they?

I was going to suggest having tea instead of coffee (cuppa, right?)

maybe I should have asked this in the other thread-

BTW I think Gordon Ramsey is brilliant

[JigOvLife]

Day 2. Dragging myself through the day until I'm tired enough to sleep, keep jolting back to consciousness in a panic if I reach alpha wavelength drowsiness. I wish I could communicate better but I can't.
Very despondent, I shall never trip my pleasure circuits again.
Really, owt I type looks...just daft. Try again later.

[Saxony]

Hang in there Jig, your half way through withdrawal now, it will get easier soon. I remember day 2, with all the extra oxygen in the blood it does make you feel somewhat umm spaced out, for want of a better description. I was really tired aswell, my eyes could hardly keep open at some points, thats all passed now thank goodness.

Take care and remember to drink loads, water or fruit juice, cranberry is really good for getting the toxins out faster.

Sax

[JigOvLife]

Failed 10 minutes ago.
The relief is immeasurable.
That was Too Much Too Soon.
Managed 45 hours.
Wanna chat about it tho.

[Jen042208]

Good luck! You can do it! I quit 25 months ago! It is great to be smoke free!

[JigOvLife]

Thanks Jen, I'll take stock and try again soon.
Sobriety comes first. I just wasn't ready to be that temporarily insane.
Forgot how hard it is. Kicks the ass off the shakes of alcohol withdrawal.

[mattcake79]

I feel for you Jiggy... I've tried to give up a few times lately, but it's just too much to handle right now. I'm thinking about using the heavy duty patch for a few days the next time around, just to get used to the feel of not smoking, without having to worry about the worst part of withdrawal.

[Saxony]

Hey Jig, sorry to hear you "failed" but it is very very hard, and it's not really failure, it's still experience. I don't really know much about NRT's as I have never tried them but maybe they would help you if you still want to quit. Or Chantix, everybody on Quitnet raves about that stuff lol.

I go on holiday today so I won't be around for a week but just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. I told myself if it gets to much I would smoke rather than drink, I think it is quite hard doing both together, some days I have wanted to say F it and go and get wasted and smoke myself silly. I have just been lucky that for some unknown reason each time I have felt like that I have managed to hold on and the feelings have passed.

Don't beat yourself up, just try again when you feel ready

Sax

[comfortablynumb]

You know the phenomenon of craving and how it relates to drinking is exactly the same as for smoking.
Smoking only ever creates the need for continuing to smoke each time you smoke.

At some level I think we all know this...so the only way to break the cycle for each, is to completely stop...

I have lost friends and family to each disease...it's not pretty.
When I quit, I was determined not to put my family through such a horrible and brutal death.
I realize there are no guarantees that I still won't but at least I've done my part.
When I quit, I had the worst cold, and could not even smoke without coughing almost unstoppable.
I hear loved ones cough like that today and it ever reminds me of where I came, and how blessed I am to be able to withstand whatever quitting forced me through. I only know that I would never want to go through that again..........

I hope some day you get there, because YOU are SOOOOOOOO worth it!!!


xoxoxoxo