quit today - b-friend is a chimney

[RisingPhoenix]

Hello all. I just quit today. I had my last cigarette last night, at 10pm. They've discontinued my brand and I see that as a 'sign' .

I am cool with it and so far so good. I've done this before, so no new news there. It's my 4th attempt in about 3 years.

Problem is, my boyfriend smokes A LOT. And he smokes in the house. I don't live with him, but when I stay at his house on the weekends, he puffs and puffs and puffs. In the house. And he does it in front of his children. They beg and beg and beg him to stop. But he just smiles and says, "I will."

I know that's gonna be a trigger for me - to be in the house when he starts. And it's his house, so I can't ask him not to in front of me. Do I stop going to visit him? Do I go outside (thank God, spring is almost here) when he lights up. I just do NOT want to be around it.

And I have a child myself - a daughter. And when I take her with me to visit, he smokes in front of her too and it drives me INSANE. I can't have her in the house when he's smoking - I just can't do it anymore. I can't stand that she's breathing it. The guilt is too much. I always go outside to smoke when the children are there. And I tell her to go outside or go upstairs when he lights up. But I don't want to do that anymore. She doesn't even know (or so I think!) that I smoke - I hide it from her. But she's 10 and she's no dummy. If she hasn't already figured it out, she will. She begs my boyfriend to stop smoking too. Do I tell him I we can't come visit anymore while he's still smoking in the house?

Nicotine is so evil. It's so bad. I hate it.

What do I do without upsetting him or making him mad? But I'm really serious about this. I HAVE to stop. And I don't want my child around it.

RP

[wooforever]

Its easy this is what my kids did to me. They asked me not to smoke in the house. Because they were getting asked by teachers and kids if they were smoking.

[cece1960]

Sounds like its time for some boundaries.
You have a right to clean air, just as your kids and his have that same right.
He has a right to smoke.
But...his decision to smoke may come with some severe consequences...you no longer visiting.
Unfortunately, there's not much you can do to make him stop, but you can protect yourself and your child.
Besides, with spring coming couldn't he meet you half way and smoke outside?
Wishing you the best in your quit!