4mg Mint Lozenge NiQuitin CQ

[dora]

Hi didn't count on a support forum for the often underestimated humble ciggie.

This amazing little fecker has had some powerful control over my desires.

Rumour has it that only I control me. So I gotta take control.

These things cost 7euros 20 cents for a pack of 20 & I usually pick up another pack before the night comes in.
That's a shocking 10.80 daily
or 75.60 weekly
or 327 euros 60 cents monthly!!! about the same as my car repayments!!!
or 3,931euros 20 cents a year!!!!! that's a pretty good holiday paid for!!!

& I wonder whether I could afford some simple stuff, OMG when I quit for good I can afford a lot of good stuff that would benefit me & my family.

Next I witnessed my Granny die of emphysema..... 2 years later I was still smoking. My brother quit on the day of her funeral.

I tackled him on Wednesday (day before I kinda knew I'd have to stop for me). He told me he could not & would not put his children through that self indulgent sickness that he would not allow his precious girls suffer watching him coughing up blood for years, & for the final few months being able to breath only with oxygen bottles, because of a selfish decision to smoke! He refuses he says to die before his girls are ready to be old themselves. He put it down to love, love for himself, his wife & his children.

I listened & understood but secretly internally I was annoyed at his self righteousness. I thought more & more about my feelings, I wasn't really annoyed with him, I was annoyed at myself, the message I received was, I was being selfish, self indulgent, & willing to put my own kids true hell later on if I continued to smoke & worse it was all down to my own choice, my own decision to destroy my life & that of my husband & children by continueing to smoke & get sick & die early, or stop the stupidity of it all & give up.

Emotionally, cognitively I was ready.

Physically, I simply hoped nothing 'bad' would happen.

Cleared the house out of ciggies the night before. BUT kept 1 emergency only ciggie. BS to myself. It was a 'just in case' one. What a line of BS, one pull is all it takes to readdict.

Stuck with the facts.

Nicotine takes 72hours to clear the system.
I will be nice.
I will refuse to succumb to any 'bad' stuff.
I will do this.

Day 1.
Ransacked coat pockets & dresser drawer. No ciggies. Ok I can do this.
Deep Breaths, calm. Called the sprogs for school.
Be nice.
Woke daughter5, who said I smelt nice!! WOW smoke free 7hours & child notices something nice about me.
Woke son, ala Bart Simpson, big on NOT getting up for school
Stayed calm focused on getting them out the door pleasantly.

While kids were getting up, before I started work
I lit that emergency ciggie.
I didn't even notice how quickly I smoked it, it was gone before I could enjoy it. I wanted to savour it. But reality was kicking in that I was ingesting 4000 awful chemicals into my mouth, nose, lungs, heart, bloodstream & brain, For WHAT???? WHAT WAS I DOING????

& I was stinking, smelly, cloud of tobacco on my hands in my hair on my jumper, on my breath everywhere. Idiot, fool, wasting my life & my time, It'd take a few more minutes to dispose of the evidence, scrub the smell off my hands & teeth, drink some water & squirt some perfume, what a stupid cycle to be on, so self destructive, so family destructive, so selfish. Time to get serious. Real serious, be the adult my children need & deserve. Simply say no! Bwwaaahahahaha & perhaps pray

They were gone... then I panicked!!!
I did a thorough search, even thought of possiblilties of who to call, who smokes that would come over for coffee!!! Pure overriding of rational thought in the few seconds.

Walked out the door into the garden, remembered had Nicotine lozengers.

Googled them, found a man who took whenever he felt like a smoke.
Ok I could do that. Read the info said not more than 12 in a day. Flip I thought I smoke 20-30 a day.

After I got into taking them day 1 I found I hadn't time to eat!!! Shock.

I broke my 1st day down into waking hours & divided it by twelve, then set an alarm at minus 30 mins to the taking.

You're not supposed to eat or drink 15mins before taking a lozenge.
Then you let them slowwwwwly dissolve in your mouth, it takes about 20-30 mins.
You get the 'hit' within 20 mins.

I was so busy with the lozengers days 1-3 I didn't have time to really eat, grabbing toast & chocolate on the go every hour or so, needed cold, cold water to drink, tried oj too.

Threw the fab timetable out the window day 3 ;D
& took the Lozengers whenever I wanted. Took 11 that day.

Day 4 didn't actually feel like taking a lozenger till about 4pm, so waited longer & didn't take one at all, lasted until 11pm, then BOOM fell badly, took one of my husbands cigarettes, which I only took a pull of, & it felt yucky, dirty, filthy smoke swirling, staining & damaging my insides & my dignity.
Took a few 2 & third pulls, then buried it the fire place, thinking what a waste.

H called me a few choice names & left for bed.

Feeling sorry myself I hung around reading for hour, then resumed my I am fecking brilliant attitude. I can do anything I want.

So off I go on my trip to do whatever I feel is 'good' for me. (Can you hear my justifying tone rising?). I annoy now half sleeping husband by turning on the full brightest lights in our room. (hello amazing now I can see that for what it was) He balks at that, says some not so loving or endearing things, I grab his ciggiesbox & run down to the fireplace. (Mission accomplished unbeknownst to myself) - nicotine is a powerful, drug.

I light it up, smoke it, get zero pleasure, not even feel the hit. Curse myself for feeling like a failure, wonder am I back to step 1. Brush my teeth, scrub the smell off my hands. Go to bed & make peace.

Woke up this morning committed last night was a slip, not an ending, it was stupid, cravings are manageable 3minute bursts that's all.

I am bigger than my desires.

Back on lozengers.

I am great

Dora

[dora]

It's Tuesday night already. Wohoooo a Cigarette free day!

I am gooooooooood, sooooooooo gooooooooooooood ;D

Sent all my closest, nearest & dearest a text earlier this morning, that I have quit smoking.

Got lot's of happy feed back.

Even smokers are happy.

These Losengers come in box of 72, with trays of 12 tablets.

So like I used to check for ciggies, I now always make sure I a have a tray of tabs with a least 3 in them, I figure 1 per hour if situ is likely to rise me.

Funny good thing is that I actually haven't needed to use as much as I thought I would.

My time is being occupied DISSSOLLLLLLLVVVING soooooooo SLLLowwwly the one tab stuck to the roof of my mouth. 30-40 mins now.

I eat real food, spaced out over the day.

Breakfast I've found is a must have.

I haven't drank coffee (proper coffee) since Thursday. I miss the smell of the brew.

I've drank sweet tea maybe 3 or 4 cups.

I am really surprised at the amount of water I am comfortably drinking.

Weird, we were sitting here earlier & I forgot I don't smoke!!!
I did not have a major craving, definitely did not.
It was more a feeling a fleeting one mind you, (Lozenge stuck solidly in mouth) that something was missing.
Then it dawned on me as is obvious, I had no ciggie in my hand, while relaxing after children were gone to bed.

Feel genuine improvements physically, breathing is way deeper.

I wake up feeling rested even after a late night.
I do feel calm.

I used to consider places as smoking or non, & count my time when I could have my next cigarette. Sometimes I'd simply light up one after another, 3, 4 in row on the same cup of coffee.

I am getting my nicotine in my mouth when I want it, without all the harmful side effects.

Smell, OMG smell, I can smell nearly everything now.

Did I really reak that bad??? I must've, I had too.
Got a mad urge to wash & clean everything today.
Not quiet the 'flylady' yet.
Settled for 2 loads of laundry & a bottle of bleach on the floors.

Don't have huge energy boosts yet, it will come I know.

Thinking is not being hijacked either that is such a relief.
Very clear & able to concentrate on tasks at hand.

Rang a Quit Advice Line today, concerned:
Would it be ok to actually quit the lozengers before the recommended 6wks?
Dr advised, stay with the recommended TIME of 6 weeks on the high dosage 4mg however only take the amount allowed or less if I felt ok with it.

(As he spoke I realised WHY I messed up the night before -- I pushed the limits I think, didn't take nicotine all day, then smoked with very little resistance when I created an opportunity). I am now aware to not risk having ANY ciggies available, & to stick to the course.

Also asked if the actual tablet is addictive. His response was No, should not be if you take it accordingly to the recommended levels.

So far today was good, kept it up, going to do it again tomorrow.

Good night

Dora X

[dora]

Just realised I didn't qualify how seriously brilliant this is for me.

I am a smoker. I have been solidly smoking for 25years.

I have tried on numerous occassions to quit over those years.

I did the aversion thing I just accepted it, & still wanted to smoke, more than I wanted to quit. - continued smoking.

I used the 24 hour patches had vivid nightmares, & was nearly pinching the friggin things trying to get the hit. Eventually lit up while still wearing one.

Used the gum on a long haul flight, & promised myself I'd be in a hotel for a few days without my loved one, so would be wise to quit, chewed the gum, as soon as settled into room, went shopping & well bought a magazine & a packet of ciggies. Considered it practice - that I would quit soon.

Went for hypnotherapy..... well it was very, very relaxing. Didn't smoke that evening, woke up 'needing' a cig the next morning. Did not want to let myself down nor the hypnotist. By lunch time I was craving, in the afternoon I simply wanted to get out to a shop asap, considered asking friend for ciggie.

Read Allen Carrs the only way - it is brilliant I simply wasn't committed to quiting at the time. Stopped reading when it got to the challenging parts.

Zyban the cure all wonder drug, that you can continue to smoke with, that is supposed to take away your desire, or the edge or some wonder positive thing.... I bought the full prescription mega bucks spent had to use it. I think I wasn't confident in this product before I even tried it. However after 8 days I had to stop taking it, I was covered in hives from it!!!

I bought the Niquitin lozengers for a flight used them for that specific purpose & left them in the meds cabinet for months, up until last Thursday, when something right clicked.

& I prayed for clarity.

That's it.

Going to read Allen Carr's book again.

[historyteach]

Congratulations on your quit, Dora!!!
You can do this. Each day is a victory. Each time we do something different other than picking up that cigarette.

I look forward to getting to know you.

Keep the quit and post before you puff!

Shalom!