help please

[caileesnana]

Should I do this? I detest smoking, but as I have lowered my expectations for my daughter, it's not as bad as drugs.

On Saturday we bought her another pack and told her no more. Quit for your health. Her dad says maybe she needs them to get through this. The counselor says it's up to each family, some do, some dont. I explained we didn't want to hurt her little recovering self but were inbetween a rock and hard place. No suggestions.

What do I do? any help is appreciated.

[iuchewie]

Originally Posted by caileesnana

Should I do this? I detest smoking, but as I have lowered my expectations for my daughter, it's not as bad as drugs.

On Saturday we bought her another pack and told her no more. Quit for your health. Her dad says maybe she needs them to get through this. The counselor says it's up to each family, some do, some dont. I explained we didn't want to hurt her little recovering self but were inbetween a rock and hard place. No suggestions.

What do I do? any help is appreciated.

quite simply, cigarettes/chew ARE drugs... they are just as (if not more) addictive, are just as (if not more) difficult to quit...

the fact that they are "legal" doesn't make them any less "bad"

chewie

[2ala2]

Let the poor girl smoke at least in the begining. It's the only thing left at the moment probably. If you're too hard on her, she'll relapse. Take it easy and think of how blessed you are that she's clean, right?
Love,
Magellan

[caileesnana]

Thank you both for your help.

[jlo34]

Sorry....I don't know your story, or your daughter's. I'll briefly share some of my story though....

I started smoking and drinking alcohol at 15. By 17 I was in treatment, had been in and out of AA for a year and finally got sober. I tried multiple times in my sobriety to quit smoking. After nearly 15 years sober, I finally quit smoking. Course, I got sober in 1991, when smoking was "more acceptable".

I encouraged gals I sponsor not to "worry about smoking". Get sober, get clean and smoking will come with time. Smoking is a "stress reliever" and had I given all vices up, I'm not sure I could've stayed sober. I also tell my sponsees who do decide to quit smoking that I'd rather they smoke than drink or drug. Yes, nicotine IS a drug...however....when they are on more of a solid ground and have recovery and recovery techniques and are ready...they can stop on their own.

Blessings for your family and your daughter. I'm guessing she is early in recovery. Just keep supporting her and loving her....
Jen

[historyteach]

Calliesnana;

The smoke cessation counselor I went to said that it's easier to quit all the addictive substances at once. ANd don't believe that cigarettes are "better" or not as bad as drugs -- they ARE a highly addictive drug.

On the other hand, nothing and no one will ever cause an addict to use. An addict uses only because an addict WANTS to use. It took me a very long time to learn that message. My son is dual diagnosed too, and I learned that it was *I* who was making his excuses for him when he used.

In the end, though, it is up to her. If she is ready to quit, she will. If not, she will not. I smoked for 36 years. I smoked more than 3 packs a day at my worst, but, normally, 2 packs a day. I am a nicotine addict, and I know I can never have another cigarette.

But, today, I am One year, six months, one week, two days, 31 minutes and 53 seconds nicotine free. That's 22160 cigarettes not smoked, saving $6,104.78. Life saved: 10 weeks, 6 days, 22 hours, 40 minutes.

I wish you both luck.

Shalom!