language and self image with our quit - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

**historyteach** · 12-27-2006, 08:24 AM

One thing that came up with another friend is whether or not people feel like non-smokers or ex-smoker. In either case, the idea is that you no longer consider smoking an option. But is there a difference when you look at yourself ? Does it matter if we call ourselves a non-smoker or an ex-smoker as part of your self image.
I wonder what people think about this concept and how you perceive yourself when you quit.
(Thank you Alice for the thought.

)

I consider myself a non-smoker.

Intellectually, I know I'm an ex-smoker. But,for some reason, it *feels* like there's more suceptability to a relapse if I call myself and ex-smoker.
As a non-smoker, it's not an option. I just don't smoke, so, why would I pick up one? Does this make sense?

I think we use all kinds of mental and language *games* in our quit, and also in our relapses. I fully remember telling myself that "one won't hurt" when I knew dang well it would. I also remember telling myself that I didn't care, when I sure as heck did care! But, I set myself up for the falls in the past.

In the same manner, I think referring to myself as a non-smoker helps me mentally and linguistically. One cannot relapse if one doesn't smoke, right?

Anyway, it seems to work for me.

It is funny -- in a GREAT way, though, but, I don't even want to go back there, and very, very rarely have cravings anymore. When I do, I literally laugh them away, still amazed at the power cigarettes once held over me.
Sure glad that power is in the past tense!

Thanks for any thoughts here. This could REALLY be a great discussion.
What do others think? Is there a difference for you between ex-smoker and non-smoker for our self identification?

Shalom!

brians · 12-31-2006, 06:19 AM

I like non-smoker

One month, three days, 9 hours, 20 minutes and 16 seconds. 1335 cigarettes not smoked, saving $328.55. Life saved: 4 days, 15 hours, 15 minutes.

**historyteach** · 12-31-2006, 06:54 AM

Cool!

Shalom!

Kellye C · 12-31-2006, 02:36 PM

My fiance is an ex-smoker and he refers to himself as a non-smoker and has suggested that I do the same. He says there is a psychological benefit to it. We shall see.

Hugs,
Kellye

**historyteach** · 01-01-2007, 03:59 PM

Honestly, that's what I think too.
Like I said, as a non-smoker, there's no fear of a slip as a non-smoker.
As an EX-smoker, the fear is always there -- and the temptation!
That's what I meant about the linguistic and mental games we play. It's the psychological step up we give ourself with language.
Least that's the way I see it!

Shalom!

gimmeid · 01-13-2007, 06:13 PM

I like non-smoker. "I don't smoke."
Of course other than that, I am a "Recovering Alcoholic."
Else, how would I excuse myself?

**historyteach** · 01-13-2007, 06:28 PM

As a recovering alcoholic, wouldn't you also be a non-drinker?
Just curious...

Welcome to the SR nicotine forum, gimmeid!

Shalom!

scaredykat · 01-18-2007, 10:23 PM

Historyteach, I never heard that before. I always called myself an ex-smoker all the times I quit. I made it to over a year a couple of years ago. I like that saying your a non-smoker after you quit. That's neat.
---
2d 20:52 smoke-free, 58 cigs not smoked, $10.73 saved, 4:50 life saved

Barb

**historyteach** · 01-20-2007, 05:09 AM

Hiya, scaredykat!
Good to see you here, and kudos on your quit.
I hope the change in language helps with it.

Shalom!

VeronicaLee · 01-20-2007, 12:51 PM

I prefer saying I am a non smoker...

I also have a statement I prefer over 'I quit smoking'...

"I no longer choose to suck toxic, foul smelling, carcinogenic gases into my lungs."

It's much more effective for me..

**historyteach** · 01-21-2007, 07:10 AM

I guess that description WOULD be more effective!

Shalom!

12-27-2006, 08:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: centered again Posts: 8,057	language and self image with our quit One thing that came up with another friend is whether or not people feel like non-smokers or ex-smoker. In either case, the idea is that you no longer consider smoking an option. But is there a difference when you look at yourself ? Does it matter if we call ourselves a non-smoker or an ex-smoker as part of your self image. I wonder what people think about this concept and how you perceive yourself when you quit. (Thank you Alice for the thought. ) I consider myself a non-smoker. Intellectually, I know I'm an ex-smoker. But,for some reason, it feels like there's more suceptability to a relapse if I call myself and ex-smoker. As a non-smoker, it's not an option. I just don't smoke, so, why would I pick up one? Does this make sense? I think we use all kinds of mental and language games in our quit, and also in our relapses. I fully remember telling myself that "one won't hurt" when I knew dang well it would. I also remember telling myself that I didn't care, when I sure as heck did care! But, I set myself up for the falls in the past. In the same manner, I think referring to myself as a non-smoker helps me mentally and linguistically. One cannot relapse if one doesn't smoke, right? Anyway, it seems to work for me. It is funny -- in a GREAT way, though, but, I don't even want to go back there, and very, very rarely have cravings anymore. When I do, I literally laugh them away, still amazed at the power cigarettes once held over me. Sure glad that power is in the past tense! Thanks for any thoughts here. This could REALLY be a great discussion. What do others think? Is there a difference for you between ex-smoker and non-smoker for our self identification? Shalom! __________________

12-31-2006, 06:54 AM	#3 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: centered again Posts: 8,057	Cool! Shalom! __________________

12-31-2006, 02:36 PM	#4 (permalink)
Kellye C Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Highlands, TX Posts: 949	My fiance is an ex-smoker and he refers to himself as a non-smoker and has suggested that I do the same. He says there is a psychological benefit to it. We shall see. Hugs, Kellye __________________ Kellye C *Sobriety Date 8/8/04 - By God's Grace & AA!!!*

01-01-2007, 03:59 PM	#5 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: centered again Posts: 8,057	Honestly, that's what I think too. Like I said, as a non-smoker, there's no fear of a slip as a non-smoker. As an EX-smoker, the fear is always there -- and the temptation! That's what I meant about the linguistic and mental games we play. It's the psychological step up we give ourself with language. Least that's the way I see it! Shalom! __________________

01-13-2007, 06:28 PM	#7 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: centered again Posts: 8,057	As a recovering alcoholic, wouldn't you also be a non-drinker? Just curious... Welcome to the SR nicotine forum, gimmeid! Shalom! __________________

12-31-2006, 06:19 AM	#2 (permalink)
brians Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: MAINE USA Posts: 312	I like non-smoker One month, three days, 9 hours, 20 minutes and 16 seconds. 1335 cigarettes not smoked, saving $328.55. Life saved: 4 days, 15 hours, 15 minutes.

01-13-2007, 06:13 PM	#6 (permalink)
gimmeid AA Curmudgeon Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Arkansas Posts: 93	I like non-smoker. "I don't smoke." Of course other than that, I am a "Recovering Alcoholic." Else, how would I excuse myself?

01-18-2007, 10:23 PM	#8 (permalink)
scaredykat Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Upstate, N.Y. Posts: 3,174 Blog Entries: 5	Historyteach, I never heard that before. I always called myself an ex-smoker all the times I quit. I made it to over a year a couple of years ago. I like that saying your a non-smoker after you quit. That's neat. --- 2d 20:52 smoke-free, 58 cigs not smoked, $10.73 saved, 4:50 life saved Barb __________________ Sobriety Date: Jan 19, 2008

01-20-2007, 05:09 AM	#9 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: centered again Posts: 8,057	Hiya, scaredykat! Good to see you here, and kudos on your quit. I hope the change in language helps with it. Shalom! __________________

01-20-2007, 12:51 PM	#10 (permalink)
VeronicaLee Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia Posts: 27	I prefer saying I am a non smoker... I also have a statement I prefer over 'I quit smoking'... "I no longer choose to suck toxic, foul smelling, carcinogenic gases into my lungs." It's much more effective for me..

01-21-2007, 07:10 AM	#11 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: centered again Posts: 8,057	I guess that description WOULD be more effective! Shalom! __________________

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