Proof

[RisingPhoenix]

I posted this on another forum... but methinks it belongs over here too!

3 1/2 (darn straight I count that 1/2!) months here since I quit.

It CAN be done. I tried for YEARS before that... numerous times.. too many to count. I quit when I got pregnant ... and then started up again!

Now I'm done. I can feel it in my cells this time... I am finished. I turned the corner. I can't explain it. I just *know* that I will never go back.

My mantra: I don't want to have to 'quit' again.

I even broke it down intellectually. What if I don't have another quit in me? How can I love myself and voluntarily put toxins into my body? What am I teaching my daughter - disrespect of my body?

I had my first cigarette sitting on the back of a '67 Mustang convertible in the parking lot at an Aerosmith concert in 1986. Ladies, remember the BIG HAIR phase in the 80's? I had enough hair spray in my hair to engulf myself in flames had I dropped an ember. Oh but there I was .... I was finally cool!

Well, 20 years later.... it doesn't look cool anymore. So, I asked myself, why are you doing it?

Everyone's reasoning and journey is different. I'm just saying that it can be done. I am proof.

1440 Reasons to Quit Smoking (by Bill Dodds) was my bible there for a while. I even carried it in my purse and whipped it out when I had cravings (please note: they do go away).

"Smoking is just slow suicide."
"You wouldn't want to miss your son's or daughter's wedding."
"Nicotine is used as an insecticide."
"No one ever set the house on fire dropping a bag of sunflower seeds on the couch."
"You're getting too old for this nonsense."

I also knit (NEVER thought that I would) at nights.... to keep my hands busy. The hands that lit up and slowly tried to kill myself, are now weaving yarn.

(I also googled cancerous smoker lungs found in an autopsy and printed the picture and posted it in the car (my fave place to smoke!) .. right where the odometer is.

And my aunt's death from lung cancer in December certainly inspired me. I know she's looking down, smiling at me.

And pray. Lots.

Hugs to all struggling....

Peace,
RP