tough times...

[historyteach]

I'm having a hard time right now.
My back/neck is killing me.
I'm tired. I volunteered at the annual clambake today, and I'm tired.
Tomorrow school starts, and I'm not ready.
I don't have my sylabus ready; who ever heard of a high school syllabus?
They want all these new stupid regulations posted on the syllabus too -- national standards; grade span expectations... I'm spending hours on this crap! I SHOULD be getting my LESSON plans ready!
I'm SICK of this crap!
And because of all this shyte, I want a cigarette. Bad!

Thanks for listening. I was going to go to a meeting,but, I'm tired and I'm afraid I'll buy some cigs if I go out. It's safer at home.

edit; And I just realized that it's probably my anxiety that's doing all this to me. *sigh*

Shalom!

[margo]

((((((Teach)))))) I can relate - stress'll do it to you. Hang in there like you have been - you've made it through other stressful times and you can make it through this. Believe me, I know the temptation of a nice relaxing cigarette, how it seems it would make all those nasties seem more manageable (NOT!). Good for you for posting before you puff!

[namommy]

(((((Teach)))))

Keep posting before you puff and you will do just fine. Stress is always a biggie. You can always do what I do and stomp your feel and punch at your thighs and yell arrgghhh. I look like a spoiled brat kid doing it, but it helps. lmao

I agree this national standard and the 'no child left behind' acts are crap. My kids spend more time prepping for standardized testing than they do learning about things they'll need to know to get them through life.

[historyteach]

Thanks, both of you, Margo and namommy!

Laurie, it won't do any good to punch my thigh; it's numb from the nerve pain.
Oh, I am stressed. I lay down and tried to rest when I got back from the clambake. Didn't happen, though.
I'm going to get through this, I'm sure, cuz, I don't EVER want to quit smoking again! (Notice I didn't say I didn't want to not smoke again! LOL! It's the quitting that's the killer! HA! )
Margo, it is so strange that I think a cigarette will make me feel better! I know it won't, but, it was such a pacifyer for so long, it seems like it should be! lol!
Let it be. I guess that's my best bet right now.
But, thank you both for being here, cuz right now, I want to scream!!! Hmmm...maybe I will!

Shalom!

[jlo34]

Teach,
Way to go!!! I bet you made it through!!! When I start thinking a cigarette is going to make things better...I really need to do some serious thinking.

What will a cigarette REALLY make better?!?! Will it improve my breathing and my lungs? Will it improve my NATURAL odor?!? Will it fix that problem or issue I'm having?!?! Nope, none of those things...generally, just a quick fix of instant gratification followed by extreme amounts of shame, guilt and anger! Do I REALLY want to do that to myself OR could I just turn over the way I'm feeling to a Power Greater than myself and remind myself of all the benefits of NOT smoking today?

As for the neck/back pain...boy do I hear you. I've enlisted the help of a great chiropractor (one that uses a "punch" rather than their hands to manipulate). Because my neck/back pain is due to a work injury (over 2 years ago) I've been with a pain specialist...which I'm happy to report I'll be returning to just my family doctor for follow up care!!!

I have found that I really need to take better care of my body if I want to feel better. If I feel better physically and take care of the emotionally/mentally getting better and focus on the spiritual...than everything seems to fit together nicely and life is pretty managable today, even the chronic pain.

I've been working to get off all the prescription pain blockers, pain meds and such. I'm almost off one of the pain blockers, neurontin. I have about 3 more weeks before it's safe to get off it (very important to follow doctor orders, this med will CAUSE seizures if not properly weaned down). I'm really excited about that, because I've been on that med for about 2 years now. And wow, is it ever expensive!!!! I've been feeling pretty run down while getting off this med, so I'm just trying to be patient with myself and realizing my body is going through a huge adjustment. My motivation for wanting to get off it...when I found out that with long term use it can help cause carpal tunnel (and the price of course, $100 for the generic per month). This will be a huge financial strain taken off us, as well!!

Keep focused, teach. I hope you're having a great day today. I'm sure you'll be busy the next several days. I'll be sending out some prayers for you though!!!

Love ya,
Jen