I want to be sober for life!

[openforhelp]

Hello! I found this site at work. I was looking for materials to help me stay sober. I am a substance abuser. I drink Jack Daniels. I smoke pot. I smoke cigarettes. I am on my second day of being sober. i have stopped many times but I always come back. I am getting further into my addictions every time I come back. saturday night I hit rock bottom. My wife had gone out with my daughter for prom dresses and I was at home with the son and his friend. I got started drinking and went to my second fifth of Jack. I knew me ant the wife were gonna rock the bed room when she got back. Well, she didn't feel like being arounda drunk and I didn't want a NO for an answer.
I just started pawing on her and she didn't take it. Things got out of hand and after she scratched me up and I shook her up we both stopped. I have never ht her before while drinking. I usually just sit back and don't say anything to anyone. I think that she hates me not communicating more than anything. Well, I can tell that I am escalating to the point of doing something stupid. A couple of days before I couldn't remember getting cigarettes after bowling and drinking. I am 46 and have been drinking and smoking since I ws 16. I have a good job . I never drink on the job but I did take a couple of bong hits before going to work.

I guess I have to figure out what makes me want to escape!

I am glad I found this site!!!

[Justme57]

Hi open you are in a good place here , and you are not alone

Read some of the "sticky" in the Alcohol forum, there is some good info there .

I chose AA as my method of recovery , it not only helped me STOP but it taught me how to STAY stopped, and it is as close as your phone.

I, personally do not have any experience with other methods but lots do, and I am sure they will be here to offer you their help soon

Either way , welcome to SR!

HUGX
Lee

[jmhs002]

Welcome! Stick around and read some posts. You will find a lot of support here. AA helped me a lot too -
JMHS

[CarolD]

Good for you.... I agree that quitting is a wise move.
So is seeing your doctor for help in quitting.

Stay with us and ask questions if you like..we understand.

[skunkape]

You have made a wise decision my friend. Addiction is a disease that can take everything from a person. It sounds like you have a wonderful life worth fighting for. Put the plug in the jug, and get off the pot and start living your life with a clear head. Being sober is the greatest journey.

[chip]

Hey Openforhelp,

You're doing the right thing by quitting. SR is a great resourse to help you. Keep an open mind, and try and find a recovery program which suits your needs. Personaly, I find AA is a big help for me (as well as SR). I find SR is helpful, but the face to face communication with other addicts really helps me keep sober.

I am a full blown alcoholic/pothead. I quit drinking in September, and quit weed 3 weeks ago. I gotta say......keeping my weed habit for a little while longer helped me with the transition. Also, it helped me through the hellish withdrawal I suffered alone at home, when I put down the booze. I'm really happy that I'm now clean and sober today, and that's the only way I want to live.

I've done stuff like that.... blacked out drunk, to my wife....too many times. I sure feel bad about it. I keep reminding myself why I cannot drink anymore....and thats why I joined AA. You and me arn't bad people...we are just sick. I was a violent black out drinker less than %10 of the time when I drank. Since I drank every day, however, that %10 sure seemed like alot. Everyday that we can stay sober will help us rebuild the trust of our loved ones. Everyday we stay sober, we get a one day free pass from a horrible illness. You are doing the right thing. Stay strong.
chip

[openforhelp]

I am on day three (again)! This time seems different. I have seen the pain that my drinking has cause! I don't like hurting others. I should not like hurting myself but that's another story. It seems as if I want to party the first thing that come to my mind is having a drink or a toke! i love my kids and I love my wife! It is time for me to love myself! I am going to see about making a change for the better. I want to look better, feel better, love better and share better. Thanks for being here, people!

[emmanuel2012]

the miracle of recovery happens one day at a time, so you have just witnessed three miracles! get yourself to meetings like you got yourself to the liquor store, because meeting makers make it. i wish you the best.

[splendra]

(((openforhelp)))

Welcome!! Your attitude seems really good!! Congrats on your desission to be clean!! Keep posting and stay strong!!

[openforhelp]

I will like to tell my story!

My mom died when I was 2. My uncle and aunt adopted me. They had 5 kids of their own. I am rather darked skin and not what TV says is very attractive. My cousins are all light complected and what TV and society says is attractive. We would go riding around and they would tell me to duck. I grew up not liking the way I looked. However, My uncle kicked my butt enough where my grades were outstanding. My football skills also were extrodinary. So, I took pleasure in getting good grades and kicking the crap out of people on the football field. I found pot @16 after I moved away from my uncle and aunt to stay with my sister. i started hanging out with whomever I chosed. I went to college and only graduated becuase I would quit smoking pot in the summer, get my grades up and start back smoking in the fall. I got a job where my pot smoking is not a deterrrent. I have always drunk beer. I had a drink of jack a couple of years ago and really found that I could hide from everything with Jack and not really feel full and gain so much weight. Well, When Jack calls I listened. I can smell it, I can taste it. I can envisioned what it would feel like that first swallow. Now, I am making myself remember what it feels like to se my kids and wife looking at me!

All of this substance abuse is really trying to cover up the fact that I don't think I am beautiful. I am beautiful. I might not look like Denzel Washington but God didn't make Junk. I am a nice guy. I really do try to help people. So, I am going to exercise more, eat better, not mastubate, talk on the phone more, go to dinner more, buy me some nice clothes to wear.

I know I am rambling. But this is the internet. No one knows me . I can be truthful without being ashamed.

I need this. Thanks for all who cares...........

[CarolD]

Glad to see you are striving for a better life...thanks for sharing a part of your story.

I suggest you add AA to your new sober plan.