My father

[zwh]

I'm sixteen. My dad is my world. He is who I fall back on, he is the only reason I can keep on living life happily, because I know I have him.
My dad has been addicted to something practically all his life. 27 years of being an alcoholic, thank god he found the power to quit that over a decade ago. He never took a drink agian.

My dad's "latest" problem has been meth. He has had such a long struggle with it. Sometimes sober, sometimes not. He recently served about a year in jail for it, as he had before, and during his jail time did so well in programs like AA. After he was out, he went to meetings for about a full year until he wasn't required to go anymore. But I was so proud of him, and so happy things were good and normal again.

After about a year and a half of being clean, he had a relapse. My family is broken. I am so scared for my father. He is clean now, he feels it was just a screw up. He didn't even want me to know. When I found out, my world dropped. I'm so stressed out now. I'm constantly worried about him. I have to constantly be near him to feel any relief. Otherwise, I just get horribly depressed thinking of the "what ifs" and all that.

We (my dad and I)have plans for the future to keep him in a positive environment and keep the stress on him as low as possible. I don't know who or what to turn to now. This is all new to me. I want my dad to be clean, I need him. Who has been in my situation before? How do I ensure he is and stays clean?

[splendra]

(((zwh)))

Welcome to Sober Recovery. I know you are really concerned for your dad but, the thing is nobody can keep him clean but him...It's not your job to keep him clean it is his. I would like to suggest that you try some alateen meetings in your area call alanon in your area and they should be able to help you find a alateen meeting..

[Cindi R]

There is hope...{{{ZWH}}}
I am a recovering meth addict. My kids were 15 and 12 when I came into the program. I have been clean since 8/15/2001.
Your dad can do this if he chooses to do this.
But let me tell you that THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!
There is nothing that you can do to keep him clean...
that is his responsibility and his choice.
AL-ANON/ALATEEN are support groups which help you to understand this...
You didn't cause, can't control, and can't cure your dad's addiction...
these are referred to as the 3 C's.
Prayers and big {{{Hugs}}} going out to you during this holiday season....

[TexasDawn]

Your dad is lucky to have family who care for him so much.

I agree with the other's that you can't control your dad though, not that you are trying to do that, but you can only make his world less stressful to a certain extent; most of the choices will be his own.

I hope that you have someone else that you can talk to and lean on at times. I counsel with my pastor. It really helps to have someone outside the family to talk to who can offer help, hope and encouragement, and an objective viewpoint as well.

You are so young; I hope you can stay away from all that junk like meth and alcohol and learn from your dad's mistakes. It's hard to learn from the mistakes of others. I've never been good at doing it myself! I always seem to have to learn things the hard way.

I wish I knew what to say and had more time to type right now. Gotta get to my son's soccer game.

Thinking and praying for you Z.

love Texasdawn

[daddysdaughter]

I think I know so much of how you are feeling. I am 26 sweetie and I am going through the same thing, but my father's problem is alcohol and probably cocaine (he just wont admit the coke although all the signs are there) If you were to see some of my posts you would see that I am asking the same questions you are. I am married and have 3 kids of my own and my husbands. I am finally getting to the point where as hard as it is I am beginning to accept that the choices he makes are his alone, at least most of them. Like you, I want to help as much as I can and our fathers are so lucky to have our support. We are also lucky to have them alive. I hope to be able to help you in whatever way I can PM me if you want to talk more.
Hope I can help
daddysdaughter

[zwh]

Thank you for the replies.

I just need to know the best ways to support him. What's best to do? I know he's thinking about starting up going to meetings again, he and I together.

[cooky]

The best you can do is support him as much as you can.Like everyone else said the choice is his.He needs to talk to other people that understand.He also needs to find a sponsor that he is held accoutable to.Good luck.Oh and you find help for yourself(alateen)you need this so you can understand.
Bob

[zwh]

What is a "sponsor"?

[CRS3]

ZWH,
In case you didnt get an answer to this yet a "sponsor" is someone in AA or NA that has been through the same thing your Dad has and can help him through the tough times. But like everyone else said your Dad has to be willing to reach out and get help.
He is the only one that can make these decisions.
The best thing that you can do for your Dad right now is to take care of yourself
as much as you can. You need to get help for yourself to help YOU through this.
Your Dad is a lucky man to have such a loving and caring daughter. But again,
he is the only one that can make these decisions.

Love and prayers Zwh!
Bob

[zwh]

I don't know what to do. My dad has never been the type to reach out. He's very to himself. That's why I'm trying to be there for him. He mentioned to me he does need support. How can he reach out more?
To clarify things, I am a son, not a daughter. Though I think my sister has pretty much given up by now.