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Alcohol Addiction 12 Steps
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12-19-2005, 09:54 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: vancouver, bc
Posts: 4
| "Normie" turned "Addict"
Once upon a time, this mango gal came onto this site hoping for some resources for her partner and herself as she suffered terribly from the outcomes of her beloved’s addiction to crack. She went to many events and meetings with her partner to keep him supported and to learn to understand what he was doing. Mango and her partner are not technically together at this time but are still very much in love. He has worked his recovery amazingly and is the person who she always saw inside and who she fell in love with. She had been through plenty of heartache knowing that her family would never accept this “addict” for whom she loved. She had relationships with others but never felt right since she, to this day, had nothing but love for this one person. Mango was considered a “normie”. Mango was a fun party girl when she had the time. She loved to dance and drink with friends. Busy and athletic, she could never accommodate a nightly partying lifestyle. She was busy at work or with her sports and never saw any problem with her few nights a month of dancing and partying. She did, however, when having a few too many drinks would find herself with a “girlfriend in the bathroom” doing cocaine. She would never NEED alcohol or drugs, she would never NEED to buy or find money for these things, it was never to the point like her ex (beloved), she never stole for it…..are you kidding?! Plus, she never did that much cocaine when she went out anyway. After a bout of depression caused by the trauma she had suffered (LOVES HER SUFFERING!), mango found herself using cocaine regularly after too many drinks. She began to look for it whenever she went out with friends. She began to miss work, about every 2nd or 3rd Friday and got up to using once, sometimes twice a week. Last Thursday night, Mango went out, of course having too many drinks and then too many lines, she found herself staring at the wall of her apartment in tears of disgust at 6am. Unable to work, she phoned in sick, again. Yes, everything they told her was true, and had happened to her! No more denying, no more secrets, no more pretending. Her life had become unmanageable! Hahaaaaa……it was almost funny. She knows all the tools, all the sayings, all the ways of the recovering addict/alcoholic. Realizing, yes oh yes, MANGO of ALL PEOPLE had to surrender! Just like everyone else in the world, she sat astonished…..how could this happen to me! Yet in the back of her mind KNOWING everyone says and feels the same crap every time……She may have lost control, but she knew what to do thanks to what she had learned when trying to help the love of her life. She picked up the phone and called him. He is working his program more than before and is so spiritually connected, he is her best ally. He was, as always, so supportive and gave her nothing but credit for her strength to reach out. “you did the right thing, don’t cry, don’t be ashamed, you are already on your way, you reached out….” His words always ground her, as they did that moment. She gave up on trying to fight an impossible battle, and began realization of a whole new journey, sobriety. Mango is me. Hello everyone! I am here and ready, and clean today! Energy is rushing through me with the excitement of the presence of this new outlook I am FINALLY willing to accept into my life, not as a partner of one inside, but one inside themself. It is only the beginning, and that excites me. A healthy start to the life I always wanted but was too afraid to give up my suffering. I am scared, don’t get me wrong! The whole idea of all of this sometimes scares me. Then I think of today, and today only. JUST FOR TODAY – I can do this. Hell yeah I can! I AM MANGO! Anyway, enough of the power speech, just wanted to introduce myself. As I said to my love last night, “life will be so much better without the poo poo clouds”. Can anyone relate to that?! It doesn’t matter how much I did or what I did, it was unmanageable. Spent the weekend exercising and talking to people I love. It was so easy not to have a drink! And if I just don’t drink at all, none of the crap that goes along with it will come. YAHOO! I am happy to be here. 3 days clean, but who’s counting!  |
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12-19-2005, 10:37 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Little Girl Found  Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Lower Penninsula
Posts: 567
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I, too, would like to welcome you to this site! There's so much information and support--I hope you decide to stick around and post some more so we can get to know you better!  Danielle
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12-19-2005, 10:45 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,596
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Welcome, Mango. Glad you're here. Yes, this disease is cunning, baffeling and powerful. It does not discriminate! Glad you recognized the signs and are willing to do the work to stay sober, one day at a time. What kind of recovery program are you going to work? Are you going to meetings? That's where I learned to STAY stopped and got the tools to work on myself.
__________________ “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” ~Marianne Williamson  |
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12-19-2005, 11:11 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 11,165
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Welcome Mango, You can find lots of support here at SR.
__________________ Anna  "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou |
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12-19-2005, 05:55 PM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: nj
Posts: 1
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cool about the three days. Just like you said "don't drink and none of the crap that goes along with it will come." I started the same way you did before it got out of hand. Began as a saturday nite drinker using coke maybe once every couple months eventually to the point where i was drinking at least 4 days a week and every time i drank it was guaranteed I'd buy a bag by the end of the nite. Hang in there and soon seeing the sun rise will hold a better connotation than it does now for ya. It does for me.
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12-26-2005, 01:17 PM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: vancouver, bc
Posts: 4
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Thank you all for your messages. It is a simple reminder to me that "ya gotta stay hooked in". 10 days, and have had some ups and downs......but in the end, I am clean today and overall quite happy. Phinny - not formally indulged in anything. Will commence the 12 steps as soon as I can find some guidance as I am struggling with the higher power and step 2 - but I will get there. NA and AA meetings will be on my agenda a couple times a week. I just need to get to that point of saying "Hi, I'm Nicole....". Will go alone to my next meeting to remove myself from being the "Supporter" and to then become the newcomer. Thank you all.....I will be around. |
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12-27-2005, 02:01 AM
| #13 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: waynesville,N.C.
Posts: 1
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Congratulations on seeking a better way of life.
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