I'm a failure - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Tinhair · 09-02-2005, 01:23 PM

I already fell off the wagon only four days into being off the drink. I'm writing this several drinks later. Feeling guilty because i dont deserv your support and dont feel i deserve to belong in this place..

**best** · 09-02-2005, 01:31 PM

Well dust off and start again.
None of us deserve the pain we give ourself by drinking.
We do deserve a sober life and the only way is .... keep trying.
You will find it.

This is a new day. Today I will remain sober.

undrunken · 09-02-2005, 01:32 PM

You qualify immensely to be here, Tinhair. Deserve to be here? You cannot forfeit your right to recovery. There is no point of no return. There is no condemnation from any of us who struggle daily like yourself. I am 15 days dry and hanging by a thread. Just jump back on the wagon. It's crowded, but we manage to hold each other in.
WW

jpeace2 · 09-02-2005, 01:32 PM

Of COURSE you do!!!! If anything, BECAUSE you fell.....you are in the right place, my friend, just pick yourself up, dust off, and let's start again. A lot of us, myself included, have had to start from Day 1 AGAIN.....it's part of the process.

Is there a meeting you can get to, I guess it's pretty late where you are now? I think there's probably one here tonight if you can't go live.......don't give up on yourself, TH........YOU CAN DO THIS and we are all in it together!!

nogard · 09-02-2005, 01:53 PM

hi Tinhair,

no such thing as faliure. One defintion of success is; "... knowing how to fail ..." basically means part of success is knowing how to get on your feet after a set back, thats it. Well done, your a success

nogard

degadar · 09-02-2005, 02:07 PM

Tinhair!

You were't ready to quit that time that's all. If you really want this, really , really want to wake up every morning and not have to check to see how much you drank the night before, ever again - then you'll do it.

Get back on your feet, and grab hold of anything and everything that will take you in the right direction. If you plan and organise your way - you'll find it's easier than you think. If you don't go prepared it'll be about as easy as crossing the atlantic on foot.

Come back and start discussing your plans. Imagine how good it'll be to have a totally sober Christmas. It's a wonderful feeling it really is.

Deg.

Dan · 09-02-2005, 02:12 PM

This forum would be a ghost town if all of us who had a drink after stopping didn't come back. You're not the first one, and you certainly won't be the last.
Welcome to SoberRecovery.
And welcome back.

wingsfree · 09-02-2005, 02:30 PM

Hi (((((Tinhair)))))) a warm welcome to SoberRecovery.....what a great gang here, look at all the wonderful adivce you've been given, I can't really add anymore, other then I know how you feel, WE all know, you keep at it is what you do....over and over and over and over, as many times as it takes, you'll get it.

Hugs.....Denise

Irish Virus · 09-02-2005, 03:27 PM

Actually 4 days is pretty damn good in my opinion if this is your first time trying to get off the sauce. So you slipped up in the first few days. No big deal. Join the club.

My only advice to you is read the Big Book if you have it. Read the stories and it will serve as an inspiration to you. There is not a soul in that book, especially the founders of AA, who didn't go on a binge after quitting.

So tell us your story and the people here can give you good advice. Better than anything I got to say. It's a lot easier getting this monkey off our backs with help.

sdm · 09-02-2005, 03:28 PM

hi there,thank God your still alive.now when you are ready to do something different,then and only then will you become teachable,with the booze in your body,no one not even you are gonna want something different,so please go to bed and get yourself to a meeting asap.ive been in and out of AA for 10 long years,my sobriety date is 07-08-2005,the feelings your are experincing will only go away with working the 12 steps lots of ACTION @WILLINGNESS,so i hold you in my prayers,i dont know you personally,but i believe in you,now do something different,like stopping FOR GOOD AND ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sdm

**CarolD** · 09-02-2005, 06:44 PM

if we all got sober Zam! I don't think we would treasure the sobriety.

Try again...stay here with us...wwe do understand.

angelgirl · 09-02-2005, 07:37 PM

Hey there. I can tell you that you do belong here. We all belong here. DDan is right, this place would be a ghost town if everyone that had a slip, left. Don't do this to yourself, you have enough to work on, just relax, and promptly admit that you are powerless over alcohol , and you belong to us (kidding)

here at SR, but not kidding about you belonging.. C'mon, hang out with us for a while, give us a better chance, then after about 6 months, if you still don't think SR is where you want to be, then leave, but I promise you that no one here will judge you for slipping, that's for sure.. Most of us here have slipped, some of us have just plain relapsed for a long time, and then came back, but you want to hear a really sad thing, some leave, and never come back, and not because they only slip, or relapse.. Some die.. We cetainly don;t want that to happen to you, so stick around, I think you will find that you really like SR, and that you belong more than you ever imagined.
I hope to see you around,,
Love, Becky

lulu70 · 09-02-2005, 07:48 PM

(((((tinhair))))) Not much else to add to the wonderful things which have already been said. Just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you.

Hugs--

Jupiter2 · 09-02-2005, 08:36 PM

I fell off the wagon after four days a couple hundred times over the last 15 years. I am coming up on 7 months sober. If I can do it, anyone can. Hang in there and keep trying. One of these days it will stick. It has finally for me (at least for today).

Jup.

2dayzmuse · 09-02-2005, 09:18 PM

I couldn't even string four days together. Then I finally got fed up with the whole drinking thing. It hurt to badly to keep the pace up. I couldn't do it on my own. I needed help. Never give up trying. If you want it bad enough, you will make it happen.

09-02-2005, 09:30 PM

Fall down, get back up, repeat as neccesary.
Been there, done that. Several times.

Change4life · 09-02-2005, 09:48 PM

We all slip! Recovery is a difficult road.
4 days good for you, that is more than I can say!
Many of us are at day 1 over and over. Don't fell guilty. and don't think you are a failure. Almost everyone here has been or are where you are.
Are you saying we are all failures? Of course we aren't....... We are just people that need help. Feel like a loser alot lately, but I am starting to learn I am not a loser, and I just need to start viewing myself differently.
KEEP TRYING
We are all deserving of support.....
SMILE IT WILL GET BETTER

Pernell Johnson · 09-02-2005, 09:59 PM

Never say Never!! When you learned to ride a bike as a little guy, you fell off many times, bruised knees and hands. But you know what, you dusted yourself off, got a bandaid, some peroxide and you started again and again and again until one day, you were riding like a pro.

Someone gave you some instruction, direction and support, well that someone is us as a whole. My suggestion and direction is to stop and stay stop. First off find out where there is an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and go. Listen, absorb, keep going back until you understand the language they are speaking, "Easy Does It". "One Day at A Time." The Meeting will unfold to you and you will acquire friends who are not drinking but were just where you are now. You questiion to them is. How did you do it? I have ten years clean and counting. I keep my memory green by welcoming the newcomer.

One day at a time, you will become a recovering alcoholic. So hang around until the miracle happens. God Bless

09-02-2005, 01:23 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tinhair Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: England Posts: 2	I'm a failure I already fell off the wagon only four days into being off the drink. I'm writing this several drinks later. Feeling guilty because i dont deserv your support and dont feel i deserve to belong in this place..

09-02-2005, 01:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
best Don't get undies in a bunch Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA Posts: 7,195	Well dust off and start again. None of us deserve the pain we give ourself by drinking. We do deserve a sober life and the only way is .... keep trying. You will find it. This is a new day. Today I will remain sober.
	__________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?

09-02-2005, 01:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
undrunken Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 131	You qualify immensely to be here, Tinhair. Deserve to be here? You cannot forfeit your right to recovery. There is no point of no return. There is no condemnation from any of us who struggle daily like yourself. I am 15 days dry and hanging by a thread. Just jump back on the wagon. It's crowded, but we manage to hold each other in. WW
undrunken Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 131

09-02-2005, 01:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
nogard Connected at last Join Date: May 2005 Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia Posts: 11,386	hi Tinhair, no such thing as faliure. One defintion of success is; "... knowing how to fail ..." basically means part of success is knowing how to get on your feet after a set back, thats it. Well done, your a success nogard
	__________________ ...And like a bird that's on the wing and is flying free He can hear the song of home endlessly

09-02-2005, 02:12 PM	#7 (permalink)
Dan Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8,753	This forum would be a ghost town if all of us who had a drink after stopping didn't come back. You're not the first one, and you certainly won't be the last. Welcome to SoberRecovery. And welcome back.
Dan Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8,753

09-02-2005, 01:32 PM	#4 (permalink)
jpeace2 Stronger every day! Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: PA Posts: 181	Of COURSE you do!!!! If anything, BECAUSE you fell.....you are in the right place, my friend, just pick yourself up, dust off, and let's start again. A lot of us, myself included, have had to start from Day 1 AGAIN.....it's part of the process. Is there a meeting you can get to, I guess it's pretty late where you are now? I think there's probably one here tonight if you can't go live.......don't give up on yourself, TH........YOU CAN DO THIS and we are all in it together!!

09-02-2005, 02:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
degadar Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: UK Posts: 296	Tinhair! You were't ready to quit that time that's all. If you really want this, really , really want to wake up every morning and not have to check to see how much you drank the night before, ever again - then you'll do it. Get back on your feet, and grab hold of anything and everything that will take you in the right direction. If you plan and organise your way - you'll find it's easier than you think. If you don't go prepared it'll be about as easy as crossing the atlantic on foot. Come back and start discussing your plans. Imagine how good it'll be to have a totally sober Christmas. It's a wonderful feeling it really is. Deg.

09-02-2005, 02:30 PM	#8 (permalink)
wingsfree Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Life Is Short Posts: 2,026	Hi (((((Tinhair)))))) a warm welcome to SoberRecovery.....what a great gang here, look at all the wonderful adivce you've been given, I can't really add anymore, other then I know how you feel, WE all know, you keep at it is what you do....over and over and over and over, as many times as it takes, you'll get it. Hugs.....Denise
	__________________ *God provides the winds, but man must raise the sails........Saint Augustine*

09-02-2005, 03:27 PM	#9 (permalink)
Irish Virus Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Charlotte,NC Posts: 168	Actually 4 days is pretty damn good in my opinion if this is your first time trying to get off the sauce. So you slipped up in the first few days. No big deal. Join the club. My only advice to you is read the Big Book if you have it. Read the stories and it will serve as an inspiration to you. There is not a soul in that book, especially the founders of AA, who didn't go on a binge after quitting. So tell us your story and the people here can give you good advice. Better than anything I got to say. It's a lot easier getting this monkey off our backs with help.

09-02-2005, 03:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
sdm sdm Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: houston,tx Posts: 1	keep on pushing hi there,thank God your still alive.now when you are ready to do something different,then and only then will you become teachable,with the booze in your body,no one not even you are gonna want something different,so please go to bed and get yourself to a meeting asap.ive been in and out of AA for 10 long years,my sobriety date is 07-08-2005,the feelings your are experincing will only go away with working the 12 steps lots of ACTION @WILLINGNESS,so i hold you in my prayers,i dont know you personally,but i believe in you,now do something different,like stopping FOR GOOD AND ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sdm
	__________________ sdm

09-02-2005, 06:44 PM	#11 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA Posts: 14,428	Well.... if we all got sober Zam! I don't think we would treasure the sobriety. Try again...stay here with us...wwe do understand.
	__________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery...

09-02-2005, 07:37 PM	#12 (permalink)
angelgirl You're never alone!! Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,194	Hey there. I can tell you that you do belong here. We all belong here. DDan is right, this place would be a ghost town if everyone that had a slip, left. Don't do this to yourself, you have enough to work on, just relax, and promptly admit that you are powerless over alcohol , and you belong to us (kidding) here at SR, but not kidding about you belonging.. C'mon, hang out with us for a while, give us a better chance, then after about 6 months, if you still don't think SR is where you want to be, then leave, but I promise you that no one here will judge you for slipping, that's for sure.. Most of us here have slipped, some of us have just plain relapsed for a long time, and then came back, but you want to hear a really sad thing, some leave, and never come back, and not because they only slip, or relapse.. Some die.. We cetainly don;t want that to happen to you, so stick around, I think you will find that you really like SR, and that you belong more than you ever imagined. I hope to see you around,, Love, Becky
	__________________ ™ Don't tell God how BIG your addiction is, tell your addiction, how BIG our GOD is!! Jesus is our teacher and he is our Savior, who takes our prayers and makes them his own.

09-02-2005, 07:48 PM	#13 (permalink)
lulu70 We all need each other. Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: The road of happy destiny. Posts: 2,223	(((((tinhair))))) Not much else to add to the wonderful things which have already been said. Just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you. Hugs--
	__________________ "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.....do the thing you think you cannot do." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

09-02-2005, 08:36 PM	#14 (permalink)
Jupiter2 Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: CA Posts: 308	I fell off the wagon after four days a couple hundred times over the last 15 years. I am coming up on 7 months sober. If I can do it, anyone can. Hang in there and keep trying. One of these days it will stick. It has finally for me (at least for today). Jup.
	__________________ Now don't say you can't swear off drinking, it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. W.C. Fields

09-02-2005, 09:18 PM	#15 (permalink)
2dayzmuse Paused Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Washington Posts: 5,083	I couldn't even string four days together. Then I finally got fed up with the whole drinking thing. It hurt to badly to keep the pace up. I couldn't do it on my own. I needed help. Never give up trying. If you want it bad enough, you will make it happen.

09-02-2005, 09:30 PM	#16 (permalink)
Doug Guest Posts: n/a	Fall down, get back up, repeat as neccesary. Been there, done that. Several times.
Doug Guest Posts: n/a

09-02-2005, 09:48 PM	#17 (permalink)
Change4life Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: wherever my feet take me Posts: 1,053	We all slip! Recovery is a difficult road. 4 days good for you, that is more than I can say! Many of us are at day 1 over and over. Don't fell guilty. and don't think you are a failure. Almost everyone here has been or are where you are. Are you saying we are all failures? Of course we aren't....... We are just people that need help. Feel like a loser alot lately, but I am starting to learn I am not a loser, and I just need to start viewing myself differently. KEEP TRYING We are all deserving of support..... SMILE IT WILL GET BETTER

09-02-2005, 09:59 PM	#18 (permalink)
Pernell Johnson Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Plainfield, New Jersey USA Posts: 498	Think Back/How did you learn to ride a bike? Never say Never!! When you learned to ride a bike as a little guy, you fell off many times, bruised knees and hands. But you know what, you dusted yourself off, got a bandaid, some peroxide and you started again and again and again until one day, you were riding like a pro. Someone gave you some instruction, direction and support, well that someone is us as a whole. My suggestion and direction is to stop and stay stop. First off find out where there is an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and go. Listen, absorb, keep going back until you understand the language they are speaking, "Easy Does It". "One Day at A Time." The Meeting will unfold to you and you will acquire friends who are not drinking but were just where you are now. You questiion to them is. How did you do it? I have ten years clean and counting. I keep my memory green by welcoming the newcomer. One day at a time, you will become a recovering alcoholic. So hang around until the miracle happens. God Bless
	__________________ Just for Today---------------I am Clean and Sober Pernell