Newcomer - please help - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

sophiefoo · 08-23-2005, 04:21 PM

Hi everyone:

I'm Janine. My husband and I have been married 1 1/2 years. I learned in the last few months that he is a crack addict. I am an alcololic, have stopped for 8 months and have recently started drinking again. My husband stopped smoking crack for several months in the last two years, but started again recently. We are two addicts. He tolerates my drinking at home but I do not tolerate his usage of crack. He has to sneak out and buy and smoke it. This means that both he and money disappear for periods of time. Once it was three weeks and often it is overnight. We have both been fired from jobs recently. I have an opporunity to move out of state, have a place to live with board, and a salary and I feel that this is a chance for me to start again, in a new enviroment. At the same time, my husband and I love each other very much. The thought of my leaving breaks my heart, and his too. The burning question is: is his addiction worse than mine, and if so, why? Should I leave? What should I do?

BSPGirl · 08-23-2005, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sophiefoo

The burning question is: is his addiction worse than mine, and if so, why?

Well no use in comparing addictions, there's no classification there, in my opinion.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sophiefoo

Should I leave?

Can't advice ya really what to do, you should consider the pro's and con's of this whole relationship. Try not to hurry your decision.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sophiefoo

What should I do?

See above.

Oh and edit: welcome here!

sophiefoo · 08-23-2005, 04:57 PM

The problem is that I have only one day to make the decistion.

Chy · 08-23-2005, 06:06 PM

I'd take care of what you feel is best for you and once your okay and grounded in recovery you can then decide about the marriage. Addiction is addiction, there is no comparing who is worse. Good luck to you!

FriendofBill · 08-23-2005, 06:58 PM

Problems dont disappear just cus we move. We go, they go with us.

No one here can make a life decision like that, and with just one day notice too.

You have a disease. It wont go away. It will move with you whereever you go.

Face it. Accept it. Get help for it.

Then, perhaps, the solutions will come. GOod luck, keep coming back.

08-23-2005, 04:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
sophiefoo Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Marietta, GA Posts: 2	Newcomer - please help Hi everyone: I'm Janine. My husband and I have been married 1 1/2 years. I learned in the last few months that he is a crack addict. I am an alcololic, have stopped for 8 months and have recently started drinking again. My husband stopped smoking crack for several months in the last two years, but started again recently. We are two addicts. He tolerates my drinking at home but I do not tolerate his usage of crack. He has to sneak out and buy and smoke it. This means that both he and money disappear for periods of time. Once it was three weeks and often it is overnight. We have both been fired from jobs recently. I have an opporunity to move out of state, have a place to live with board, and a salary and I feel that this is a chance for me to start again, in a new enviroment. At the same time, my husband and I love each other very much. The thought of my leaving breaks my heart, and his too. The burning question is: is his addiction worse than mine, and if so, why? Should I leave? What should I do?

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08-23-2005, 04:57 PM	#3 (permalink)
sophiefoo Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Marietta, GA Posts: 2	The problem is that I have only one day to make the decistion.

08-23-2005, 06:06 PM	#4 (permalink)
Chy Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: El Paso, Tx Posts: 5,890	I'd take care of what you feel is best for you and once your okay and grounded in recovery you can then decide about the marriage. Addiction is addiction, there is no comparing who is worse. Good luck to you!

08-23-2005, 06:58 PM	#5 (permalink)
FriendofBill 1000 Post Club Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Recoveryville, USA Posts: 1,303	Problems dont disappear just cus we move. We go, they go with us. No one here can make a life decision like that, and with just one day notice too. You have a disease. It wont go away. It will move with you whereever you go. Face it. Accept it. Get help for it. Then, perhaps, the solutions will come. GOod luck, keep coming back.

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