Hello, I am a newcomer. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Quilter · 04-30-2005, 03:14 PM

I took the Dr. Phil test to see if I may have a drinking problem, and flunked it.

So, I thought I would check out this site and prehaps get some advice. I have read a lot of the posts and I think you are all so courageous. I hope I can become as brave as many of you sound in your posts.
I have tried to find an AA meeting close to where I live, at no prevail, prehaps someone would know of a meeting close to Bellingham, WA?
Thank you for your time,
Quilter

tyler · 04-30-2005, 03:23 PM

Here is the info for your local AA intergroup. If you call the answering service, someone will call you back shortly. I'll also check and see what meetings are near.

N.W. WA-WHATCOM COUNTY DIST. 11
BELLINGHAM WA
24 HR ANSWERING SERVICE 360-734-1688

tyler · 04-30-2005, 03:27 PM

http://www.whatcomaa.org/

This a link for your local AA intergroup. Click on the "meeting list" link for local times. Hope this helps.

**CarolD** · 04-30-2005, 03:31 PM

annd you got in to post!

Please check out our Forum..

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...splay.php?f=13

We have lots of info for those seeking sobriety.

Blessings..

Quilter · 04-30-2005, 03:38 PM

THANK YOU SO MUCH! Your information is very useful! Thank you again for your time.
Quilter

lulu70 · 04-30-2005, 03:39 PM

Just wanted to say welcome! This a great place with wonderful people who have been where you are right now. Hang in there.

Lilalkie · 04-30-2005, 04:10 PM

Welcome to sober recovery! This is a great place with lots of wonderful people who care a lot about each other. Really, they do. I hope you are able to find a meeting nearby that you can attend. When my sponsor was in early recovery, she lived out in the "boonies" and there was only one meeting a week she could go to, but she was able to find fellowship by getting other people's phone numbers and keep in contact. Keep coming back!

2dayzmuse · 04-30-2005, 04:18 PM

(((Quilter)))

Welcome from a fellow Washingtonian. I'm glad you decided to join us. Great group of people here. They've helped me immensely.

oncewaslost · 04-30-2005, 05:47 PM

just wanted to welcome u...there's alot of support and good advice here...hope u find the help u r looking for

wantneeda · 05-01-2005, 12:14 AM

Hi Quilter and WELCOME, great that you figured out your way in!!!

Time4Me · 05-01-2005, 05:55 AM

Welcome Quilter!

You have found a great place. Feel free to ask or simply let out anything you need to...there will always be someone with some words of wisdom for you. The bravest part in my opinion is just opening up about the work we need to do...you have started.

Best to you.

stspencer · 05-01-2005, 10:03 AM

welcome in in port angeles not to far from you one day at a time we can do this. steve

Quilter · 05-01-2005, 11:03 AM

Good Morning!
I was invited into 'chat' last night and talked to some amazing people. Everyone was so nice, even though they knew I had been drinking and weren't judgemental.
I have been reading many posts this morning, and find that I also have the problem of getting on the phone and talking to family and the next day, I have no idea what I said. I am fully aware of what I am saying at the time, and never have said anything hurtful to family, but, sometimes they will laugh about what I can't remember saying, and say something to the effect, "I bet you have a hangover this morning" "You were sure out of it last night".....etc.
I wish I had found this site years ago, (was it here? years ago). This 'disease', if that is what it is, seems to be such a private hell with it. It is so secretive and ashaming (if that's a word, if not, it is now, I just made it up).
It takes alot of effort to hide it, so, why would I think it is an OK thing to do.
I guess this post is more for me, than anyone else, but, I would like to track my success/progress (?) and try and succeed like so many of the people here I have read about.
Again, thank you all that responded to my post and the messages and the invitation to the chat. I have not had a drink for 10 hours! But, then I never drink in the morning, I wait until afternoon. Only alcoholics drink before noon.

Ha! Ha!
Quilter

KelKel · 05-01-2005, 11:56 AM

Hi Quilter...
Glad you found us

Reading your last post reminds me of many of the reasons why I am grateful that today (and that is all I have...today) I am sober.
You are right, it is an awful lot of work to keep up with our obsession to drink and try to hide it from the world.
This alcoholic reached a point where nothing less than a glass of scotch in the morning was required to stop shaking enough to get to the store to buy some more..... I don't miss that at all... thank you for reminding me of another thing to be grateful for today!

Did you happen to find a meeting in your area?

Quilter · 05-01-2005, 12:46 PM

KelKel,
Yes, I did find many meeting places close to my home. And even times that I could be there. Now, to get the courage to go, eh? Thanks for asking.
I have been reading the thread about opening a bottle, I have about half of a bottle in the house, and just can't get the nerve to pour it out, as I am telling myself that I won't buy anymore, when it's gone. So, what am I thinking? I don't think it will evaporate with the cap on tight. So, what am I thinking? And it is a plastic bottle, so, I am sure it won't break. I am sure that most of you know what I am thinking.

I DO have the desire to quit, or do I have the desire to WANT to quit?
Quilter

jcw1964 · 05-01-2005, 12:53 PM

It was great talking to you last night. You are so courageous for coming here and opening up. Even if it is on a computer. Reaching down into yourself and bringing up these issues and feelings is not easy and you have made a big step towards recovery. I am glad for your ten hours. Let's turn it into 11 and then 12 and so on. You can do it. Many here have been there and can help. Don't ever think you are alone.

God Bless
Jeff

Quilter · 05-02-2005, 09:38 AM

Well, I made it all of 14 hours, I have no idea why I had a drink, except the open bottle didn't have a chance. I didn't drink as much as I usually do, as I have told myself that I won't buy anymore when this is gone, therefore, I am making it last longer? That doesn't sound like some one that wants to quit drinking to me. I really want to make this work. I talked with one of your members last night and they gave me alot to think about. I didn't drink anymore after talking to them, as I wanted to be able to talk straight to myself and remember what I said to myself, last night. I have to go to work now, so I know I won't be drinking at least in the next 8 hours. I don't even have a desire to drink when I am working. Then, I get home and it is so lonely, I look around the house and think, why not? I need to get into a different frame of mind, I know that, and it is soooo hard for me. I don't know if my drinking is an addiction, or a habit. When I am away for the weekend, I don't drink, but, then I am driving alot and I don't drive when I have been drinking. The bottle is down to a quarter full, or maybe its three quarters empty.
Quilter

tyler · 05-02-2005, 09:45 AM

You know you don't have to empty that last quarter down your throat, there are better places for it to go. It is tough, but empowering. When you dump what you have left instead of drinking it shows a big step for yourself. I know it's hard, just a thought. Glad to see you still posting here. You know where you can go to not be lonely and be with non drinkers. Enough lecturing. Be well, and take care. My thoughts are with you.

Quilter · 05-02-2005, 07:12 PM

I am so tired of feeling lonely. (sigh) Some days are so hard, I worked at house cleaning today, just to make ends meet. My husband of 43 years has always 'taken care' of me and not to have him with me for the past 15 months hurts so much. I work at two jobs just so I can afford to go and see him every other weekend (800 miles round trip). I know and always knew that I could take care of myself, but, I don't like not having him with me. Enough of that! I can't dwell on that thinking. It only depresses me. I have to stop drinking, it doesn't kill the pain, only costs money and it is going to ruin my health. (and at my age, it wouldn't take much to ruin my health, Ha! Ha!) I have a very loving family, but, of course, I won't listen to them. I know my drinking makes them feel bad, and I don't want to do that to them. From reading different posts from the people here at SR, I really think that I can get rid of this addiction/habit. I have to! Thank you, Tyler for replying to me, you will never know how much you have gotten me to THINK and also the young man and lady that PMed me in the past two days. I am starting to think that I can do this. As far as pouring my bottle down the drain, what do you think? :nervous When it is gone, it is gone! I won't buy anymore! I am down to one eighth of a bottle. Tyler, you have me just about convinced me to pour out the remaining part, if it would 'empower' me. Thank you for still posting to me.

Quilter

tyler · 05-02-2005, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quilter

Tyler, you have me just about convinced me to pour out the remaining part, if it would 'empower' me. Thank you for still posting to me.

Quilter

Only one way to find out!!! You need a dancing bananna!!

jcw1964 · 05-02-2005, 07:43 PM

Hang in there Quilter. Every hour is an hour closer to freedom. Freedom from guilt. Freedom from the chains that hold you to that bottle. Freedom from the devil that wants to beat you down. Freedom from paying to feel crappy. Freedom from your addiction. Don't give up and remember that you are worth the effort it will take to beat this. You are worth it. You are worth my time. You are worth the time of everyone here. Don't sell yourself short. Your family loves you, we love you and God loves you.

Thanks
Jeff

Quilter · 05-02-2005, 07:45 PM

Ok! Tyler,
I had to help the banana to pour it out, first it poured it into my glass, and then I thought about what you said, and I poured it down the sink.

OMG! I am scared now! I can do this, right? I am not feeling a whole lot empowered at this moment. I didn't get a chance to drink enough to feel numb OR empowered. Just a little stupid for pouring it out on the advice of a new found acquaintance (sp). How can a person feel so close to people that they don't know and probably will never know? Sorry, about that statement, but, I want to keep this thread for my progress for myself. I HAVE TO MAKE IT! I HAVE TO MAKE IT! I can't go to a meeting tonight, as I have been drinking and I don't drive when I have been drinking. I do have my schedule printed out for AA meetings in my area. I want to ask what an 'O' rating means. Everyone in the neighborhood that will know you that don't have the same problem, or what? It says the 'O' means 'OPEN', now, I am afraid of that. Paranoia, prehaps? Should I call the phone number on the AA meeting that I am thinking of going to and ask questions?
Thank you, I am sooooo glad you didn't quit this site!
Quilter

2dayzmuse · 05-02-2005, 07:58 PM

If you have questions, by all means make the call. Ask all the questions you want. Open meeting just means friends or family can attend if they want to. No need to fill paranoid. It will be fine. By the way...good for you for pouring out the booze. I know it wasn't easy, but it was the right thing to do. It's a start.

tyler · 05-02-2005, 08:09 PM

That is great, I'm proud of you!!! It took real guts. Whether or not you know it, it was a big step. You made a choice, the right choice. You could have easily drank the rest of the bottle and said, I'll start tomorrow, but you made the hard choice to start now. As I've mentioned before pot was my main drug of choice and many times I said as soon as I finish what I have I'll quit, the only time it has worked was this last time when I said I QUIT NOW and flushed what I had left. Granted I did somke MOST of it!!! What can I say, I AM and addict!! But my point is that you made a conscious choice not to drink the rest of the bottle. I know it wasn't easy.

As far as what an open meeting is, it means that anyone can attend, but lets be honest here, do you really think that neighbors who are not alcoholics would attend a meeting of AA. Hell it's hard enough for the alkies to walk through the door, why would a sober person waste an hour of their time listening to a bunch of drunks. (and I mean drunks in a loving way!!

) The only non-alcoholoics who attend open meetings are spouses or loved one of AA members who want to see what goes on at a meeting. OK, next excuse!!

Check out this thread:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=57854 (just back from AA)

PM fishyfishy and ask her about her experience at meetings. Look, I'm not a big book thumper, in fact I don't attend AA meetings and only go to NA occasionally, but I have been to many meetings in the past and when you are starting out it is a great place to find caring people who will reach out to help you just like here. It can help you with the loneliness. I am no longer with my wife, who I was with for 16 years. I'm only 36, that's almost half my life. It's hard to call her my ex. I'm lucky to live with my parrents, they took me in, so I am not alone, but I know how hard it is. This can help you meet some people who will be there for you when you need them, and you will. So give it a try. You are on a roll now. Take care of yourself.

04-30-2005, 03:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
Quilter Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Blaine, WA Posts: 21	Hello, I am a newcomer. I took the Dr. Phil test to see if I may have a drinking problem, and flunked it. So, I thought I would check out this site and prehaps get some advice. I have read a lot of the posts and I think you are all so courageous. I hope I can become as brave as many of you sound in your posts. I have tried to find an AA meeting close to where I live, at no prevail, prehaps someone would know of a meeting close to Bellingham, WA? Thank you for your time, Quilter

04-30-2005, 03:23 PM	#2 (permalink)
tyler Not all better, getting better Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Getting back to the beach!!!!!! :-) Posts: 781	Here is the info for your local AA intergroup. If you call the answering service, someone will call you back shortly. I'll also check and see what meetings are near. N.W. WA-WHATCOM COUNTY DIST. 11 BELLINGHAM WA 24 HR ANSWERING SERVICE 360-734-1688 __________________ Peace and Love, Tyler Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh "Protest is the highest form of democracy." Gen. Wesley Clark "Meat is food, veggies are food's food!" -pedagogue

04-30-2005, 03:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
tyler Not all better, getting better Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Getting back to the beach!!!!!! :-) Posts: 781	meeting link http://www.whatcomaa.org/ This a link for your local AA intergroup. Click on the "meeting list" link for local times. Hope this helps. __________________ Peace and Love, Tyler Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh "Protest is the highest form of democracy." Gen. Wesley Clark "Meat is food, veggies are food's food!" -pedagogue

04-30-2005, 03:31 PM	#4 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA Posts: 15,403	Hi and annd you got in to post! Please check out our Forum.. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...splay.php?f=13 We have lots of info for those seeking sobriety. Blessings.. __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

04-30-2005, 03:39 PM	#6 (permalink)
lulu70 We all need each other. Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: The road of happy destiny. Posts: 2,223	Just wanted to say welcome! This a great place with wonderful people who have been where you are right now. Hang in there. __________________ "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.....do the thing you think you cannot do." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

04-30-2005, 03:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
Quilter Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Blaine, WA Posts: 21	THANK YOU SO MUCH! Your information is very useful! Thank you again for your time. Quilter

04-30-2005, 04:10 PM	#7 (permalink)
Lilalkie Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Akron, Ohio Posts: 94	Welcome to sober recovery! This is a great place with lots of wonderful people who care a lot about each other. Really, they do. I hope you are able to find a meeting nearby that you can attend. When my sponsor was in early recovery, she lived out in the "boonies" and there was only one meeting a week she could go to, but she was able to find fellowship by getting other people's phone numbers and keep in contact. Keep coming back! __________________ You're probably an alcoholic if you think that spilling beer is alcohol abuse!

04-30-2005, 04:18 PM	#8 (permalink)
2dayzmuse Paused Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Washington Posts: 5,083	(((Quilter))) Welcome from a fellow Washingtonian. I'm glad you decided to join us. Great group of people here. They've helped me immensely.

04-30-2005, 05:47 PM	#9 (permalink)
oncewaslost Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Clarksville, Ar. Posts: 21	just wanted to welcome u...there's alot of support and good advice here...hope u find the help u r looking for __________________ "to err is human...to forgive is divine"

05-01-2005, 12:14 AM	#10 (permalink)
wantneeda Miss Behavin' Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: regina,saskatchewan Posts: 976	Hi Quilter and WELCOME, great that you figured out your way in!!! __________________ nothin' changes if nothin' changes

05-01-2005, 05:55 AM	#11 (permalink)
Time4Me Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: NYC, NY Posts: 193	Welcome Quilter! You have found a great place. Feel free to ask or simply let out anything you need to...there will always be someone with some words of wisdom for you. The bravest part in my opinion is just opening up about the work we need to do...you have started. Best to you.

05-01-2005, 10:03 AM	#12 (permalink)
stspencer Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: 98363 Posts: 30	welcome in in port angeles not to far from you one day at a time we can do this. steve

05-01-2005, 11:03 AM	#13 (permalink)
Quilter Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Blaine, WA Posts: 21	Good Morning and thanks! Good Morning! I was invited into 'chat' last night and talked to some amazing people. Everyone was so nice, even though they knew I had been drinking and weren't judgemental. I have been reading many posts this morning, and find that I also have the problem of getting on the phone and talking to family and the next day, I have no idea what I said. I am fully aware of what I am saying at the time, and never have said anything hurtful to family, but, sometimes they will laugh about what I can't remember saying, and say something to the effect, "I bet you have a hangover this morning" "You were sure out of it last night".....etc. I wish I had found this site years ago, (was it here? years ago). This 'disease', if that is what it is, seems to be such a private hell with it. It is so secretive and ashaming (if that's a word, if not, it is now, I just made it up). It takes alot of effort to hide it, so, why would I think it is an OK thing to do. I guess this post is more for me, than anyone else, but, I would like to track my success/progress (?) and try and succeed like so many of the people here I have read about. Again, thank you all that responded to my post and the messages and the invitation to the chat. I have not had a drink for 10 hours! But, then I never drink in the morning, I wait until afternoon. Only alcoholics drink before noon. Ha! Ha! Quilter

05-01-2005, 11:56 AM	#14 (permalink)
KelKel Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: The Mohave Desert Posts: 2,313	Hi Quilter... Glad you found us Reading your last post reminds me of many of the reasons why I am grateful that today (and that is all I have...today) I am sober. You are right, it is an awful lot of work to keep up with our obsession to drink and try to hide it from the world. This alcoholic reached a point where nothing less than a glass of scotch in the morning was required to stop shaking enough to get to the store to buy some more..... I don't miss that at all... thank you for reminding me of another thing to be grateful for today! Did you happen to find a meeting in your area?

05-01-2005, 12:46 PM	#15 (permalink)
Quilter Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Blaine, WA Posts: 21	found a meeting place KelKel, Yes, I did find many meeting places close to my home. And even times that I could be there. Now, to get the courage to go, eh? Thanks for asking. I have been reading the thread about opening a bottle, I have about half of a bottle in the house, and just can't get the nerve to pour it out, as I am telling myself that I won't buy anymore, when it's gone. So, what am I thinking? I don't think it will evaporate with the cap on tight. So, what am I thinking? And it is a plastic bottle, so, I am sure it won't break. I am sure that most of you know what I am thinking. I DO have the desire to quit, or do I have the desire to WANT to quit? Quilter

05-01-2005, 12:53 PM	#16 (permalink)
jcw1964 Let go and let God Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: illinois Posts: 117	It was great talking to you last night. You are so courageous for coming here and opening up. Even if it is on a computer. Reaching down into yourself and bringing up these issues and feelings is not easy and you have made a big step towards recovery. I am glad for your ten hours. Let's turn it into 11 and then 12 and so on. You can do it. Many here have been there and can help. Don't ever think you are alone. God Bless Jeff __________________ It is not important how short life is but how long eternity is!!!!

05-02-2005, 09:38 AM	#17 (permalink)
Quilter Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Blaine, WA Posts: 21	Down to a quarter of a bottle Well, I made it all of 14 hours, I have no idea why I had a drink, except the open bottle didn't have a chance. I didn't drink as much as I usually do, as I have told myself that I won't buy anymore when this is gone, therefore, I am making it last longer? That doesn't sound like some one that wants to quit drinking to me. I really want to make this work. I talked with one of your members last night and they gave me alot to think about. I didn't drink anymore after talking to them, as I wanted to be able to talk straight to myself and remember what I said to myself, last night. I have to go to work now, so I know I won't be drinking at least in the next 8 hours. I don't even have a desire to drink when I am working. Then, I get home and it is so lonely, I look around the house and think, why not? I need to get into a different frame of mind, I know that, and it is soooo hard for me. I don't know if my drinking is an addiction, or a habit. When I am away for the weekend, I don't drink, but, then I am driving alot and I don't drive when I have been drinking. The bottle is down to a quarter full, or maybe its three quarters empty. Quilter

05-02-2005, 09:45 AM	#18 (permalink)
tyler Not all better, getting better Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Getting back to the beach!!!!!! :-) Posts: 781	You know you don't have to empty that last quarter down your throat, there are better places for it to go. It is tough, but empowering. When you dump what you have left instead of drinking it shows a big step for yourself. I know it's hard, just a thought. Glad to see you still posting here. You know where you can go to not be lonely and be with non drinkers. Enough lecturing. Be well, and take care. My thoughts are with you. __________________ Peace and Love, Tyler Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh "Protest is the highest form of democracy." Gen. Wesley Clark "Meat is food, veggies are food's food!" -pedagogue

05-02-2005, 07:12 PM	#19 (permalink)
Quilter Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Blaine, WA Posts: 21	Got home and lonely. I am so tired of feeling lonely. (sigh) Some days are so hard, I worked at house cleaning today, just to make ends meet. My husband of 43 years has always 'taken care' of me and not to have him with me for the past 15 months hurts so much. I work at two jobs just so I can afford to go and see him every other weekend (800 miles round trip). I know and always knew that I could take care of myself, but, I don't like not having him with me. Enough of that! I can't dwell on that thinking. It only depresses me. I have to stop drinking, it doesn't kill the pain, only costs money and it is going to ruin my health. (and at my age, it wouldn't take much to ruin my health, Ha! Ha!) I have a very loving family, but, of course, I won't listen to them. I know my drinking makes them feel bad, and I don't want to do that to them. From reading different posts from the people here at SR, I really think that I can get rid of this addiction/habit. I have to! Thank you, Tyler for replying to me, you will never know how much you have gotten me to THINK and also the young man and lady that PMed me in the past two days. I am starting to think that I can do this. As far as pouring my bottle down the drain, what do you think? :nervous When it is gone, it is gone! I won't buy anymore! I am down to one eighth of a bottle. Tyler, you have me just about convinced me to pour out the remaining part, if it would 'empower' me. Thank you for still posting to me. Quilter

05-02-2005, 07:43 PM	#21 (permalink)
jcw1964 Let go and let God Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: illinois Posts: 117	Hang in there Quilter. Every hour is an hour closer to freedom. Freedom from guilt. Freedom from the chains that hold you to that bottle. Freedom from the devil that wants to beat you down. Freedom from paying to feel crappy. Freedom from your addiction. Don't give up and remember that you are worth the effort it will take to beat this. You are worth it. You are worth my time. You are worth the time of everyone here. Don't sell yourself short. Your family loves you, we love you and God loves you. Thanks Jeff __________________ It is not important how short life is but how long eternity is!!!!

05-02-2005, 07:45 PM	#22 (permalink)
Quilter Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Blaine, WA Posts: 21	Don't know if a dancing banana can do it. :0) Ok! Tyler, I had to help the banana to pour it out, first it poured it into my glass, and then I thought about what you said, and I poured it down the sink. OMG! I am scared now! I can do this, right? I am not feeling a whole lot empowered at this moment. I didn't get a chance to drink enough to feel numb OR empowered. Just a little stupid for pouring it out on the advice of a new found acquaintance (sp). How can a person feel so close to people that they don't know and probably will never know? Sorry, about that statement, but, I want to keep this thread for my progress for myself. I HAVE TO MAKE IT! I HAVE TO MAKE IT! I can't go to a meeting tonight, as I have been drinking and I don't drive when I have been drinking. I do have my schedule printed out for AA meetings in my area. I want to ask what an 'O' rating means. Everyone in the neighborhood that will know you that don't have the same problem, or what? It says the 'O' means 'OPEN', now, I am afraid of that. Paranoia, prehaps? Should I call the phone number on the AA meeting that I am thinking of going to and ask questions? Thank you, I am sooooo glad you didn't quit this site! Quilter

05-02-2005, 07:58 PM	#23 (permalink)
2dayzmuse Paused Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Washington Posts: 5,083	If you have questions, by all means make the call. Ask all the questions you want. Open meeting just means friends or family can attend if they want to. No need to fill paranoid. It will be fine. By the way...good for you for pouring out the booze. I know it wasn't easy, but it was the right thing to do. It's a start.

05-02-2005, 08:09 PM	#24 (permalink)
tyler Not all better, getting better Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Getting back to the beach!!!!!! :-) Posts: 781	Yea!!!!!!! That is great, I'm proud of you!!! It took real guts. Whether or not you know it, it was a big step. You made a choice, the right choice. You could have easily drank the rest of the bottle and said, I'll start tomorrow, but you made the hard choice to start now. As I've mentioned before pot was my main drug of choice and many times I said as soon as I finish what I have I'll quit, the only time it has worked was this last time when I said I QUIT NOW and flushed what I had left. Granted I did somke MOST of it!!! What can I say, I AM and addict!! But my point is that you made a conscious choice not to drink the rest of the bottle. I know it wasn't easy. As far as what an open meeting is, it means that anyone can attend, but lets be honest here, do you really think that neighbors who are not alcoholics would attend a meeting of AA. Hell it's hard enough for the alkies to walk through the door, why would a sober person waste an hour of their time listening to a bunch of drunks. (and I mean drunks in a loving way!! ) The only non-alcoholoics who attend open meetings are spouses or loved one of AA members who want to see what goes on at a meeting. OK, next excuse!! Check out this thread: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=57854 (just back from AA) PM fishyfishy and ask her about her experience at meetings. Look, I'm not a big book thumper, in fact I don't attend AA meetings and only go to NA occasionally, but I have been to many meetings in the past and when you are starting out it is a great place to find caring people who will reach out to help you just like here. It can help you with the loneliness. I am no longer with my wife, who I was with for 16 years. I'm only 36, that's almost half my life. It's hard to call her my ex. I'm lucky to live with my parrents, they took me in, so I am not alone, but I know how hard it is. This can help you meet some people who will be there for you when you need them, and you will. So give it a try. You are on a roll now. Take care of yourself. __________________ Peace and Love, Tyler Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh "Protest is the highest form of democracy." Gen. Wesley Clark "Meat is food, veggies are food's food!" -pedagogue