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Alcohol Addiction 12 Steps
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03-11-2005, 06:01 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Dubh Linn - Ireland
Posts: 455
|  Ama is Back :-)
Hi Dear Friends in SR, Decided to start this new thread which is based in recovery and to give hope - we all need that every now and again. Weelllllllllll the good news is that I havent had a drink this Year!!!! Not since just before Christmas (sometime on 22nd December!). Got out of hospital full time today and the doctors etc are delighted with my recovery so far. (Hmmmmm mild or rather strong Bi-Polar episode tried to pull me down but I won and it lost)! I am so very grateful to you for all your encouragement and kind words.....This is a big thank-you!!!!!! Luvs to All Always......Ama |
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03-11-2005, 06:29 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| The Serenity Plus Plan  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: The Garden State
Posts: 157
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Yea!!!! Ama is back and out of the hospital!!!! I'm so glad!!! Ceallaigh
__________________ Where thou art, that is home. Emily Dickinson O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done. Walt Whitman |
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03-11-2005, 06:37 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Life Is Short
Posts: 2,026
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((((((Ama)))))))  I'm so happy you are back too. You're a little fighter, smiling at that. Big congrats on your sober time.  Love and extra hugs.....Denise
__________________ God provides the winds, but man must raise the sails........Saint Augustine  |
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03-11-2005, 08:24 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: CA
Posts: 308
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Hi Ama, Jup here. I remember reading some of your posts in my first days here on SR. So good to have you back!
__________________ Now don't say you can't swear off drinking, it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. W.C. Fields |
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03-12-2005, 11:30 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Beaver, WA
Posts: 1,350
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(((((((((AMA  ))))))))))A joy to have you back posting once again. I can so relate to your story and greatly appreciate your positive spin on sober LIVING! I sometimes look upon my own manic-depression(acute Bi-Polar disorder) as a problem. You, on the other hand, are a cute bi-polar who moves forward spreading great hope for many others of us. This grizzly-bear is always pleased to ride the gentle breeze of your uplifting outlook & Spirit. ((((((((AMA))))))))))  Kiss Heart of Spirit In Love & Service, :tri 3 Legacy |
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03-12-2005, 06:48 PM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Dubh Linn - Ireland
Posts: 455
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(((((Dear dear dear ALL!!!!!!))))) It is sooo very true that in giving that we receive! I am overwhelmed with your goodness and kind wishes - but then I always am....... And you are right - so very right......I dont have cancer, just a mood disorder (hehehehe - think the kids would describe it MORE animately!!!).....A form of Diabetes of my head chemicals and sure I just cannot take SUGAR anymore if you care for that analogy. It is funny how I always need a concrete explanation of why I CANNOT/MUST NOT consume my poison. We all need our own truths I think. Reading others posts and threads can help this so tremendously I have found. Ohhhhh - my diagnosis!!!! Well it turns out that my "FLAT MOOD" is on the high side AKA Optimistic. Now there is a great gift indeed. Yes the disphoria will or may rather re-occur, but keeping my mood stable via PROPER medication and NOT self medication via booze is vital to my wellbeing. And my son was also diagnosed BI-Polar - we are helping each other alot and both grateful for each others understanding. My youngest is too eeeekkkkk - she is my complete twin so my hope is that I will catch her so early that her life will be good and happy and complete. Just in case my ex is reading this which I suspect, I have been advised by my therapist and doctor to proceed with a no fault divorce in July. The laws here in Ireland from what I can glean, mean that after a full and complete 4 years apart, that it will be straight-forward, though he wants the family home sold etc etc. The children are very much in favour of the divorce as they always fear I will go back to him you see. But they are not happy about the possibility of loosing their home but it could be the ultimate price of freedom so we must accept what ever happens. I was at a meeting the other evening and I actually walked out. It was a little group started and Women only!!!! ANEW they call themselves and not affiliated to any other group of such a name I should point out. Anyway, there was a lady there who had consumed about a half bottle before the meeting. She was almost laughed at and it broke my heart. She passed the 3rd Tradition - SHE SO WANTED TO STOP DRINKING.....we alllllll know that one!!!! She was trying too! Let us never ever be such goodie two shoes that we loose our humanity and understanding. Others walked out after me but we all felt the same. We are there to help each other with recovery from addiction - that is what SR does!!!!! Had to get that one off my chest so sorry if I sound funny.....but it just left me with a very sour tasted in my mouth..... Ohhhh and yet again I did not win the lotto tonight. Yip - only because I forgot to buy a ticket. But then again I did win another day so that is good enough methinks. I hope life it treating you all well. That your lives and strifes are minimal and thank you for the lovely welcome home..........Luvs and Recovery ALWAYS Ama  |
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03-12-2005, 06:57 PM
| #12 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Dubh Linn - Ireland
Posts: 455
| Quote:
Well as I said I am home from Hosp – so had to shop last night and passed by a place called B-Young and I was attracted to the window and there were pretty butterflies as part of the shops window display. Sooooo I went in to enquire how much etc but they were Not for sale :-( …….However, they said they had received a few too many and gave me a beautiful Blue One and a Bright Pink One……It felt like a wonderful stroke of a generous life returning.... Re the chocolate - hmmmmm if you could see me now you would think I ate it allllllllllll - oppps sorry but I will keep some for you the next time.... Hope you have a wonderful special moment today Luvs and Thanks Always Ama | |
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03-13-2005, 05:21 PM
| #14 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Dubh Linn - Ireland
Posts: 455
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Oh life can sometimes be soooo very hard..... But not today and I am just back from a dual diagnosis meeting held in the hospital where I was. Sticking to recovery is the only way and that needs some work from me and I will do it in sobriety and recovery! I was thrilled for Exlibris and his lovely surprise at all the well wishes for his birthday too. Ever proof of how SR pulls us out of the lonely times which are for me the most dangerous of all...... I hope all have a good one today and that (((Ted))) feels abit better too.....I know in my heart that we are all here for each other......we just have to keep coming back.....one day at a time...... Think this is an evening that I am talking to myself but sure I couldnt I bore the pants off a heifer (grin!!) Love and Gentle Recovery to all........Ama |
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03-14-2005, 10:38 AM
| #16 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Somewhere in the Mojave Desert
Posts: 492
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Glad to have you back at SR Ama! You sound very well. I didn't get to know you before as I blew 6 months of sobriety but I'm back now and look forward to your posts! And as me Canadian twinnie Denise says "where's that chocolate!" (Hey Denise...had any coffee crisps lately darling?!) I'm glad we are all back here and sober! Darn, that's a good thing!!!!!!! Love, Laci (Another 24 hours) |
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03-14-2005, 05:25 PM
| #17 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Dubh Linn - Ireland
Posts: 455
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(((Laci))) Many thanks for the good wishes - I have been reading oodles of your posts and you just said something very poigant for me.....getting to 6 whole months and then crashing!!!! I just never got that far before but it shows that we can and must never be complacent..... You sound wonderful and are giving me great hope indeed...... Luvs Ama |
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03-14-2005, 05:37 PM
| #18 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Somewhere in the Mojave Desert
Posts: 492
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Hugs to you Ama! And many thanks for giving me hope... Yup...we sure can take a slip if we get complacent. That is an excellent way to say it. Heck...I had 10 years and went back out when I was 37, drank for 14 years until I found myself back at AA and at SR. Six glorious months and as usual, I got complacent and found myself right back where I left off. I believe the last few months of drinking for me have been probably the most eye opening. Many things have happened that have terrified me much like things that happen to all of us. We go through some pretty rough ordeals. And I suffer from bad depression on top of it all. Taking my Zoloft still but per the doctor, I'm cutting back. I'm so proud of you Ama! You are a delightful person and glad that we both are back here and that we are sober and that life is good today! Luvvies to you my Irish friend and Happy St. Patrick's Day! It is coming upon us this week. I'll be sipping green tea! Ha Ha. Laci (two days, no cigs! Still craving chocolate!) |
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03-17-2005, 03:34 PM
| #20 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Dubh Linn - Ireland
Posts: 455
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(((Captain!!!!))) I have been soooo busy the last couple of days - trying to restore order to a home where chaos has ruled for soooo very long you see. But I am and that is the real point. Been reading threads and posts but just sometimes i find I am humbled and dont feel i can post. I start and write oodles and then press the button and my machine crashes! I always think there is a reason and that the posts were perhaps for my own acceptance - personal if you like and not for publishing. Whatever reason well I dont know but what will be will be. Today - Paddys Day here in Ireland......Land of Saints and Scholars hehehehe NOT! I got my car washed and valeted and did chores and went to my parents for a visit and got my sisters usual viper tongue so just left, rather than cause a scene. Had to go back and collect my son at about 8.30 pm and my sister in law was there (eeekkkk)! Typical blonde with singular brain cell. She really really is. Escaped any unpleaseantness then too! So a sober and challenging day coming to and end of little pockets of achievement and feels like a recovery day too!!! Sorry to vent on air but just sometimes. I think they all think that now that I am diagnosed Bi-Polar that I am mad. Certainly I am being treated quite differently - as if my comments etc are unfounded and stupid etc. I know my sister is jealous of me and doesnt think I should have any quality of life or well wishes from anyone based on my past. She is utterly unforgiving but I can live with that........ Weather was beautiful today and I had Black birds batheing in the garden in a make shift pond. It was so so dainty to behold......It was actually a male as is was black and the females are brown and slightly smaller in size. I also sat in the garden for about 20 minutes (2 cigs long) and it was very very relaxing....... So a good one really - Luvs Ama |
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03-20-2005, 10:38 AM
| #21 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Somewhere in the Mojave Desert
Posts: 492
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Good Sunday Morning Ama (or I believe Good Evening in Ireland) I wish some day I could spend St Paddy's day in Ireland. That must be so cool! I've only made it over to London and Scotland but someday I'll go to Ireland. My family treats me much the same Ama. It was worse when I was younger but now when I'm around them they "walk on eggshells" as if one thing that they may say will send me off into a drunken fit. May I have your permission to borrow the term "viper tongue?" Thank God you were able to avoid the blonde with the one brain cell! How sad that we have family members that are truly unforgiving. I have three older sisters and the oldest one is jealous and manipulative and that is the one I want to borrow the expression "viper tongue" for! I'm glad to read your posts and look forward to them. I vent a lot also but you know that is so okay here at SR. I've written pages literally of "venting" and always makes me feel better. So let it all out! I will also! It does help doesn't it. The sounds of those black birds bathing in the garden just made me smile. I looked at my two little Parakeets and thought of how dainty they are. Makes me think of God each time I look at them with their little precious eyes blinking and their tiny little feet and they make soft noises in the morning. By the afternoon they are squawking up a storm and I'm like "be quiet!!" I am wishing you a wonderful day/evening and proud of you for staying sober and doing all the right things because when we do the right thing then only goodness will come our way and it does. When I'm drinking I do all bad things (terrible messes I've got myself into) but sober I am able to look at life on a daily basis and make it thru those challenging moments only to know that by not drinking today I will be a better person tomorrow and today will be a nice memory (despite those viper tongued sisters! LOL) God Bless and take care. Thanks for helping me stay sober today! Love, Laci |
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03-21-2005, 01:27 PM
| #23 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Dubh Linn - Ireland
Posts: 455
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(((Laci, Grateful, LeAnne, Denise, Hope, Kath, Ted, Keith, Dan......sooooo many more too))) Today is wet and miserable outside but I am dry!! Word bank seems abit dry too but know I need to make an effort of a post to keep my head straight..... Tomorrow is my 3 mths. Can you imagine - no trouble for 3 whole months; well there was but I was able to cope with it along with treatment etc.......I honestly cannot believe I am writing these words. My small gesture of not drinking one day at a time has given my children great great hope. Each day there is abit more trust and the sober time combined with the family therapy should see us all fit mentally within about a year. Sounds a long time but it took a long time to get this bad you see. Finances are scarce at the moment but somehow I am managing and got the mortgage paid today and all bills up to date. Spent all morning doing my personal accounts (reality land) so at least I know where I stand. Funny how when drinking one just lets everything mount up and buries ones head in the sand like and Ostrich.... I am looking forward to doing the garden at the weekend and putting in seeds and watching them grow. Very therapeutic indeed. (((Laci))) the words of a vipers tongue are vituperative just in case you need to vary it now and again hehehehe..... Signing off for a while here as I am really but natually exhausted......
__________________ Luvs and Recovery Ama "The only way to compel man to speak Good of you, is to do Good......" Voltaire |
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03-21-2005, 01:39 PM
| #24 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Somewhere in the Mojave Desert
Posts: 492
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Dearest Ama... Let me be the first to say congratulations on your three months tomorrow!!! So proud of you! You are a very special person...I can tell that. And isn't it wonderful to pay bills now! Ah, I have to admit that I did have a bit of a slip last night. Darn it! Was doing well but gave in to those fears of the unknown and drank two martinis. I stopped after two though which is quite a bit of progress for me. So off to a meeting today. Thanks for the variation on the viper tongue! You make me laugh and smile. Yup...those finances are scarce but will build back up...don't you worry about that. Keep doing the right thing no matter what. Yours is not a small gesture of not drinking...yours is an incredibly huge gesture....one to be so proud of and one that makes all the difference in your daily life and one that gives you hope along with your family. Hope is a wonderful thing isn't it. And there is much hope. You inspire and encourage me Ama. I'm off to my AA meeting...may have hit a bump in the road but getting right back on track. Love, Laci |
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