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What do sober people do for fun?

Old 12-27-2013, 05:08 PM
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Sometimes this answer doesn't make me less bored. But sober... I can do anything I want.

Drunk I could not. Not when I was drunk at the time, nor when I was hung over the next day. I was limited to what I could actually do with my time. It does open up a big wide world of possibilities, doesn't it

For now, I am spending my time slowly. I go to the gym every other day, I watch new movies, and I play with the dog as defaults. I tend to be spending more time out and about, not really doing anything just enjoying the fact that I can when something new pops up I want to try.

There is no rush for me. When I drank every night, I didn't do anything anyways so it is ok to do that now too. For me, the exercise is keeping the good feeling going I got from drinking, and the adventure of the freedom I now feel.
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Old 12-27-2013, 05:37 PM
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I know it doesn't matter, but I just noticed this thread has over 60,000 views and I was curious as to why. It was started in 2005!

8 years later and it is still relevant. Speaks volumes to me because the troubles we face and over come are nothing new.

I guess Renee isnt still here. I hope they found their freedom.
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Old 12-27-2013, 08:34 PM
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I just want to jump in and add to the "let it take time" point. I like to think about it as allowing time to readjust to the world around us. One of the things years of alcohol abuse robs us of is a healthy view of "things." Alcohol makes us think things are "boring," or "unexciting." We have learned to think like this. Life and the world around us is so amazing, exciting, thrilling, and even sublime. And this includes the negative/hurtful parts of life too. My grandmother passed away a few weeks ago. I am early on in my sobriety, and my first reaction was, "oh, sh!#, how am I going to handle this sober?" Well I did, it was sad, I went to her funeral, I cried-but I was alive and feeling, not running and inebriateing, not blocking what is real. I went to a birthday party for a 7 year old. I saw the faces of the kids, bright and happy, I heard the sounds of laughter and pure childhood joy-all I would have missed if I had been drinking (there was a cooler of beer for the adults). Keep an open mind and let time help you heal, help you get back a view and perception of what the theif stole from you.

Combine this philosphy with all the great advice about hobies, activities, and such, and eventually, the world can become a very different place.

Oh, something my wife likes to do: Every month, do one thing that you have never done before. Even if it's try a new salad dressing, do at least one thing out of the normal pattern/routine: You never know what you might find, and it feels great to branch out a little.
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Old 12-27-2013, 08:42 PM
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I started doing things that I liked to do when I was a teenager BEFORE the drinking took over. I'm naturally a very creative person but over the past ten years, I've been stifling my creativity. I started doing crafty things again like murals, photography, and writing.

I know how to feel about having your life revolve around drinking activities. I was in the same boat and all of my friends wanted to continue with drinking activities. I had to recreate my social life completely and although it's taken some time, I feel very busy and fulfilled. I go to a lot if meetings and have met new friends there. We go to plays, movies, concerts, out to dinner, or work out. There are museums, walks outside, continuing education classes, reading, all sorts of productive things to occupy your mind and stay connected. Just took some mind stretching to branch out from what I was used to. Being sober does not have to equal boredom!
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Old 12-27-2013, 08:53 PM
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I love this malcolm... For me it has so far been, "just try it"... and your wife's thoughts on trying something new at least once a month... priceless. I remember I couldn't even try anything new drinking. And as weird as it may seem, I get the joy of trying something new every day that I wake up now. It may be good, it may be hard... but it is new.

Originally Posted by malcolmsloan View Post
I just want to jump in and add to the "let it take time" point. I like to think about it as allowing time to readjust to the world around us. One of the things years of alcohol abuse robs us of is a healthy view of "things." Alcohol makes us think things are "boring," or "unexciting." We have learned to think like this. Life and the world around us is so amazing, exciting, thrilling, and even sublime. And this includes the negative/hurtful parts of life too. My grandmother passed away a few weeks ago. I am early on in my sobriety, and my first reaction was, "oh, sh!#, how am I going to handle this sober?" Well I did, it was sad, I went to her funeral, I cried-but I was alive and feeling, not running and inebriateing, not blocking what is real. I went to a birthday party for a 7 year old. I saw the faces of the kids, bright and happy, I heard the sounds of laughter and pure childhood joy-all I would have missed if I had been drinking (there was a cooler of beer for the adults). Keep an open mind and let time help you heal, help you get back a view and perception of what the theif stole from you.

Combine this philosphy with all the great advice about hobies, activities, and such, and eventually, the world can become a very different place.

Oh, something my wife likes to do: Every month, do one thing that you have never done before. Even if it's try a new salad dressing, do at least one thing out of the normal pattern/routine: You never know what you might find, and it feels great to branch out a little.
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Old 12-27-2013, 11:03 PM
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I’m not sure I have found anything as fun as the “good ol days” but I have found a ton of stuff to fill the void, lots of volunteer work, crafting, small do it yourself remodeling projects, taking classes on upholstery, and school part time all keep me busy. I know how hard it is when 99% of the people you hung out with are the people you drank/ used with; your party buddies, but I found the real friends from that group are willing to respect your desire not to use and will not drink around you. I also found the extra cash you save comes in handy to have pamper you days, a spa day is a million times more relaxing than a night of drinking and waking up feeling like crap.
It takes time to find things to fill the void, I have been drug free 17 months and I will not lie, I still miss certain parts of my old party life, but I know this new me is a million times more happy. Just keep trying new things or old things you used to love doing and I am sure you will find something therapeutic to help with the initial boredom.

Hope it helps to know most of us went through the phase of what to do now that we're sober.
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Old 12-28-2013, 06:49 AM
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man i dunno, just trying new things doesnt seem to work well with me..i mean, its OK to do new things, they might be enjoyable a few times out but then the dullness hits home..i think alot also depends on the damage done to neurotransmitters during drug abuse, the chemicals of pleasure.i was basically using speedballs almost every day for years on end, i think my 'pleasure center' is way off...simply trying new things usually has me scratching my head..
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Old 12-28-2013, 11:47 AM
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I agree with others that we have to retrain ourselves. I got to where I couldn't do hardly anything without drinking because I thought it wouldn't be any fun otherwise. Ugh, it drives me crazy that I got to that point. What an insult to the world, to God, to anyone I spent time with, to myself -- to think so low of it all that I had to color it with alcohol. Really, it all goes back to thinking so low of myself.

Anyway, one thing I did was sign up for this thing with the local animal shelter to volunteer to take the bigger, more active dogs who need more exercise for runs around the lake. I just signed up so I'll do the training soon and be able to do it as often as I like. I figured it would get me exercising, get me meeting people (fellow runners AND fellow animal lovers) and, of course, help those sweet dogs who are locked up in cages all day.

I'm loving reading all these posts.

Jackie
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Old 12-28-2013, 11:52 AM
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Think about what you liked to do as a kid and start there. Also you can learn just about anything on YouTube. I've learned to play guitar, sew, and do yoga.
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Old 12-28-2013, 12:04 PM
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I haven't started doing anything new, just the stuff I used to do that fell by the wayside when I started drinking - playing guitar, reading books, long walks, experimenting with cooking, discovering new music!!

. . . and it all feels fantastic
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Old 12-28-2013, 12:13 PM
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I returned to learning a foreign language. That is a good hobby if you're into that sort of thing because you can beaver away at it at any time of the day, really. I do want other hobbies apart from AA which let me hook up with other people.
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Old 12-28-2013, 02:18 PM
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I have tried the following:

Cycling
Meeting friends in coffee shops and avoiding pubs
Swimming
Reading
Walking
Attending more live sport e.g. football or cricket
In London the museums are free so I have visited many over the past few years

It takes time to find new activities and move forward with life after quitting a substance - try as many activities as you can and see what interests you.
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Old 12-28-2013, 02:41 PM
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I have immersed myself into Yoga and Meditation. Its funny, once you stop drinking an extra 1000+ Calories a day in Booze, you lose a ton of weight.

Also a LOT of Video Games. A lot. I am still feeling pretty lonely at night, but i have to sit with that now as The Ladies and my relationships with them were a big part of my drinking.

there is something missing still. I think its my wanting the booze and bar life.
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Old 12-28-2013, 04:17 PM
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^^^its wanting that crazy active social life, i know what u mean..i play alot of videogames, i walk my dogs daily, exercise but there definitely feels like something is missing..i feel like there isnt much reward for working all week..in the past drugs and going out felt like a huge release to me, i could go back to work on monday with something to loo forward to on the weekend..these new hobbies i have picked up do not fulfill me like a night of partying used to..i remember hooking up with a few girls in the past few months and we were sober and i was almost like 'hmm, where is the fun at?'...we played monopoly which again is OK, but that seems to be the best i can do when it comes to sober activities...

there is a huge difference in meeting and socializing with people sober as compared to using certain drugs..
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Old 12-28-2013, 04:28 PM
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Video games are great, aren't they?! . . . whoever said wasting time was a bad thing?! . . .sometimes passing a few hours engrossed in a good game gets you through the evening, and it's definitely better than picking up a drink!!
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Old 12-28-2013, 05:10 PM
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I'm a big video gamer myself. Always have been. Fun thing is, now when I boot one up the next day, I can remember why I am where I am in the game! I can remember what section I logged off in, and what quest I was working on!

I am embarrassed by how many times I'd log in the next day and be...WTF am I doing here?
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Old 12-28-2013, 05:12 PM
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Nothing has proved to be as fun as drinking and having fun in my youth, but there is lots of other stuff I can do now, and everyone has more fun. I also don't end up in jail.
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Old 12-28-2013, 07:55 PM
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The practice of trying new things is not so much designed to find thrill and elation in each new thing itself (however, sometimes we get lucky and stumble on somthing awesome), but it is more of a mental adjustment, a consciousness shift, that, over time, can help wake up the mind, get us seeing differently, which can contribute to relearning how to enjoy life once again. Of course, buying a new kind of toothpaste will not make us happy and thrilled, but each time we "try something new" we build patterns of thought more aligned with interest, and curiosity, important emotions when we are looking to rebulid our mental outlook on life after years of abuse.

"The mind is everything"
-Bruce Lee
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Old 12-28-2013, 08:12 PM
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Originally Posted by malcolmsloan View Post
The practice of trying new things is not so much designed to find thrill and elation in each new thing itself (however, sometimes we get lucky and stumble on somthing awesome), but it is more of a mental adjustment, a consciousness shift, that, over time, can help wake up the mind, get us seeing differently, which can contribute to relearning how to enjoy life once again. Of course, buying a new kind of toothpaste will not make us happy and thrilled, but each time we "try something new" we build patterns of thought more aligned with interest, and curiosity, important emotions when we are looking to rebulid our mental outlook on life after years of abuse.

"The mind is everything"
-Bruce Lee
yeah, this. I might of added a few more line breaks but I work in printing so ya know :p

When we don't drink, we have a world open up to us. Full of options and reliability. If nothing else, consistency. Bored or not, sad or not, confused... we have options now that we have never had before... For me, I always daydreamed about having these options and what I would do with them.

Well it is here now and will stay as long as I don't drink, or hide away, or "feeling good", with what ever my addict voice tells me makes that sort of thinking is ok.

I have seen the results of the addict minds plans for me, as have most of us.

I will suffer through, before I hide away from reality any longer.
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Old 12-29-2013, 12:54 AM
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I used to wonder that too. The more sober time I have the more I realize I didn't really do anything fun.I just drank . Everything I did revolved round drinking and it was very tying.

Now I'm free I can do whatever I want whenever I want. I realize I had no fun as my life was tied to drinking -what time to start, did I have enough drink at home, would I get served before it closed ,leaving events early so I could drink etc etc. No fun at all.
I have a freedom now that I never knew existed
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