Is bottom necessary?

[Necile]

I have seen and heard a lot of talk about having to hit bottom before being able to recover. I don't think I am anywhere near bottom. I am so grateful that I haven't lost everything. Has anyone here been able to get clean without first having to hit bottom?

[nutz]

You don't have to loose everything.
Think of it as the bottom coming up to hit you.
a lot of people need recovery, but recovery is for
people that want it.

I lost everything before i came into recovery 12 years ago

I relaped 5 months ago. I was emotionally bankrupted.
I didn't loose my job or material things . Nothing bad happened
to me on the outside. I just felt hopeless. Not having hope was my
bottom. Getting wasted didn't changed anything other than making
me felt more hopeless.
So It wasn't neccesary for me to go out on a run to loose everything.

[jmhs002]

No, you do not need to hit bottom to start to recover. I have a good job, a great family, a nice home etc....., but I knew if I were to continue down the path that I was on that I would not be around to watch my kids grow up. I had known for a long time that I needed to stop drinking, I was just never really committed to doing it. It seems at times that I was waiting for the other shoe to drop to force me to stop - but then I decided that I had had enough and that I needed to stop with the booze. I hope this time is different for me. Today is day 16 for me and I feel great. Still have some urges to drink, but overall I feel great.

[1_day@_a_time]

Everybody has a different bottom, some are homeless, some still own the luxury car/ home.

I have met them all, know of a man that had a very successful business on Wall Street, and made millions.

His bottom? When his driver, also an addict/alcoholic, dropped him off for work one day, and disappeared, stole his 100K Mercedes.

My experience, those that have not "lost it all", generally have a more difficult time getting sober.

AND, as pointed out, there IS an emotional bottom, well said. This is your opportunity. Stop the nonsense now.......

[wantneeda]

hi,
I believe every ones' bottom is different, why would you want to run the risk of loosing everything to find out what yours is?? I also believe the very bottom bottom is death!!! No thanks, there was a day wether i didn't care one way or the other if i lived or not, after a time iun recovery I care!!!!
There was also a time when i thought me and everyone who cared about me would be better off if i didn't live, out of ones misery so to speak.....Thats the insanity of addiction.
To go to a 12 step meeting all that is required is a desire to stop......If you think you have a problem and think your life would be better if you stop.....by all means give it a try! otherwise keep coming back , you're always welcome!!!!! \\// peace

[Rena']

(((Necile)))
I guess its like someone else said; everybodys bottom is different. And I guess it depends on what you are willing to lose by hitting bottom! My bottom was enough for me to want to quit forever!! I felt like I had lost enough! Yes, I still had my job, and I wasnt thrown in jail, or I hadnt run over someone by driving drunk. But I didnt want to take that chance, of something like that happening.
I had gotten to the point to where I was having blackouts and couldnt always remember what had happened during my drinking. It was enough for me to hear from others of some of the things that I said or did. I was beginning to be embarassed and ashamed of myself for my actions. That was enough of a bottom for me; I didnt want to go any farther then that! And I know alcoholism is a progressive disease; it just gets worse and worse; and I knew I would get worse and worse in the way it effected me. Like I say, I guess it just depends on how low you want your bottom to be.
Like some of the others have said; if you think you have a problem with an addiction; give AA or some recovery program a try. It has certainly helped me stay sober for more then a year now. Keep coming back; and welcome to Sober Recovery. You'll find a lot of wonderful people here, with a lot of ESH and support to offer. Love, Rena'

[2dayzmuse]

One thing I've discovered about a bottom, it comes with a trap door. Just when you think you can't fall any further, it opens...down you gooooooo. Due to the progression of the disease, I lost three jobs in three years. I was unemployable and absolutely disfunctional. Yeah, I could have gone lower. I could have been thrown in jail, lost my home, risked losing my health, but it was my emotional bottom that finally stopped me. I couldn't go any lower than that. Not without losing the tiniest morsel of sanity I had left. I was mentally and emotionally bottomed out. I was no longer living. Merely existing in a cold, dark and empty place. I now know, it never has to be that way again. Yeah, looking back, just when you think you can't go any lower, you do and then some. Until you slowly or quickly reach the ultimate bottom, death. It doesn't have to be that way. There is a solution.

[Jupiter2]

There are different degrees of bottom. I think I hit my bottom two weeks ago (God willing). I too have not lost my home, cars, family, but I was on my way. I was (and still am) underemployed and had to quit a job last summer due to drinking (I had a promising interview today sober and a promising interview tomorrow). I was about as isolated as I could be and knew I was facing much worse to come. It is a progressive disease and it will take everything including your life if not arrested. I pray to God that I can maintain my current course in the program one day at a time so I do not need to experience more despair than I already have. I know there is unspeakable pain waiting for me if I go back out.

[Necile]

Thank you everyone. I can't thank you enough. Your words of encouragement are helping me more then you know these first days of being clean. I feel so lonely deeling with these physical and emotional issues by myself. I will try to go to another meeting and at least be around other people.

Right now I wonder if I will ever be employeable again. I gave up my career becuase of these drugs. I didn't get fired, but I just couldn't handle the stress of the job. I used to think i was using becuase of stressful working conditions but I really know that the drugs are what kept me from functioning and deeling effectively with the situation. I have been out of the job market for so long, I wonder if anyone will ever take me back. of course, I've been taking care of my family, but that doens't really go well on a resume.

Oh well, those worries are for another time.

[lulu70]

Hey Necile--I know I am a little late, but I wanted to throw my two cents worth in..... I have heard that people hit bottom when they stop digging. Some stop digging earlier than later. The first time I got sober, I had lost everything--no home, no job, no car, no money, and I was only able to stay sober about 6 months. This time, all I lost was my job (and my dignity). I am working a good program and have managed to stay sober a year, today. If you really want to stop, you will. Keep coming here.....

Hugs--

[2dayzmuse]

I had been out of the job market for some time. My resume was pretty marred. I had been fired by my last three employers. Things have a way of working out in time after some spiritual growth and healing. I was given a second chance and the same will happen to you. Have faith. The thing to do now is to continue working on your recovery. The rest will fall into place when you are ready. You recognize how the drugs affected your ability to function. That's good. You will be productive in the job market again. One day at a time. Good luck...

[Jerry K]

I agree with the comments posted by JHNS002 and LULU70. I stopped the digging before loosing everything. I now know that if I had not stopped, I would have lost all those things that I cherish and value.

Once you question yourself, you really know where you are at and that is the time to start a recovery.

Good Luck and have a Great Day

[Cathy31]

Hi there - the answer is no! You don't have to, and please don't, wait to lose everything.

As all the good people here have said - everyone has a different bottom.

I still had all my material things job, cars, money etc etc But my marriage was starting to fall apart directly as a result of my drinking (now - only 2 months into it - we have never been happier - seriously! I never realised how my drinking was affecting our relationship!) Also, I knew I would eventually be fired if I carried on and also get a DUI pretty soon - that and probably kill someone in a blackout. I met a lovely lovely woman my first day of AA and I spoke to her about rock bottom - and she said she'd been the same as me thinking well I haven't lost EVERYTHING, I haven't even lost that much (except self esteem, good health etc!) and she said that she said to herself one day...well, Phil, what exactly are you waiting for? And she said to me What are you waiting for? Do you WANT to be in jail first/institutionalised/dead (!?)

So, I say the same to you - what are you waiting for?

Good question and good thread - and good luck!! We are the really lucky ones to do this before we destroy ourselves and others ... further!!!

Love
cathy31
x

ps I felt hopeless and quite depressed and lifeless the first 9 days of giving up - only 2 months into it, I can't describe to you how good I feel ... and I know that's it's actually only going to get better and better. Amazing, hey!
x

[Chy]

Wonderful thread!
Yes, we all have different bottoms( mines wider then I'd like ) but seriously, when there you just know it! Mine was more emotional, I hated everything about myself though on the outside looking in, I looked pretty damn normal and happy. Stick around, this is a great place for support.

[Gr8ful1]

This is sometimes over-used, but applicable...

THE BOTTOM IS WHEN YOU PUT THE SHOVEL DOWN AND QUIT DIGGING.

Some addicts/alcoholics bottoms' are when they are 6-feet under. I pray that it is not yours.

Serene just for today, because all we have is right now, because it's always right now.

[subliminalurge]

I'm going to go against the grain and say that yes, hitting bottom is ABSOLUTELY necessary.

The catch, of course, is that "bottom" is different for everyone. For some people it's death. For some people it's prison. For others, it's getting fired or getting dumped. For some of the really lucky people, "bottom" is just a hangover.

"Bottom" is just the point where continuing to drink and/or use becomes more distasteful than abstinence. That point is different for everyone.

But, yes, I firmly believe that it is necessary for each person to hit their own "bottom" before they can truly commit to abstinence and recovery.

Just my thoughts.....

[Moontime]

Your bottom is your bottom when you say it's your bottom. The disease wants us to compare bottoms from the get-go. If you find yourself doing this at anytime, this is the disease talking. The greatest thing about a bottom is that it can be your bottom, you don't have to lose everything to hit your bottom.

[Necile]

Thanks for all the wonderful replies. I am taking great solace in this board. Chy I also feel that my bottom was more emotional then anything else. My life was slowly drifting away and I just couldn't stand myself anymore. I think one morning, it just crashed down on me -- everything I had missed in my fog and ever tangible thing I could possibly lose and it terrified me.

I don't know what made that day different from every other day but I am grateful the day came.

Be well,
Necile

[Patsyd1]

Hi Necile,

I remember having that same question when I first got sober. Some wonderful AA member shared with me that I didn't have to go all the way to the bottom if I chose not to, that I could get off the elevator at any floor that I chose to, on the way down.

I didn't loose any of the material things on the outside, I lost everything on the inside. At the end of my drinking I hated myself with a passion, I had totally lost me.

There are no degrees of alcoholism, only degrees of trouble.

[Magichappens]

Hitting a bottom for me was what it took to be able to admit that I was powerless and that my life was unmanageable. Losing "things" was not what made me hit a bottom. Losing myself, feeling miserable, empty, and desperate was. Hitting bottom was having the ability to accept step one. It's an inside job. Hugs, Magic

[blitz]

Maybe this your bottom, and boy do I envy you! My bottom line included a divorce, loosing all the family and friends on my ex-wife side, falling down a stairway and having to undergo surgery on my right shoulder (that's when evrybody left actually), several thousand USD in car repairs, faling on the street and making some guy bring me back home, and so on.

Posting here is an important step in the recovery process, what will be doing next? Don't quit now and you'll be a very lucky person.